3 07
Part Four
Directions: Choose one passage (200-250 words) of your narrative essay to rewrite, adding descriptive language and sensory details wherever possible.
Highlight your revisions. Submissions without highlighting will be returned for revisions.
However, as Fortunato drunk more and more, his personality started changing. Montresors had a feeling that Fortunato had drunk to much wine, which made him become drunk. Fortunato started bumping into his guest and spilling his drink on himself. Montresor didn't want thing to get out of hand. "Heyyyy, hey buddy, come here" said Fortunato in a drunken tone. Montresor approached him. "Are you drunk? You should stop drinking this wine", stated Montresor."You are just mad because I am the only person here enjoying my party. This party could have been more fancy with more fancier wine, your just mad because you are POOOOR",explained Fortunato. Montresor was shocked that Fortunato would say something like that. He was embarrassed because arranged this whole surprise for his friend and in return all he got was an insult.
However, as Fortunato drunk more and more wine, his personality and attitude started changing. Montresor had a feeling that Fortunato had drunk to much wine and he knew that things were going wrong. Fortunato started bumping into his guest and spilling his drink all over himself. Montresor didn't want thing to get out of hand so he quickly ran over to where Fortunato. "Heyyyy, hey buddy, come here" said Fortunato in a drunken tone. Montresor approached him and said "Are you drunk? You should stop drinking this wine, you do not want to embarrass yourself", stated Montresor."You are just mad because I am the only person here enjoying my party. This party could have been more fancy with more fancier wine, your just mad because you are POOOOR",explained Fortunato. Montresor was shocked that Fortunato would say something like so hurtful. He was embarrassed because he arranged this whole surprise party for
Directions: Choose one passage (200-250 words) of your narrative essay to rewrite, adding descriptive language and sensory details wherever possible.
Highlight your revisions. Submissions without highlighting will be returned for revisions.
However, as Fortunato drunk more and more, his personality started changing. Montresors had a feeling that Fortunato had drunk to much wine, which made him become drunk. Fortunato started bumping into his guest and spilling his drink on himself. Montresor didn't want thing to get out of hand. "Heyyyy, hey buddy, come here" said Fortunato in a drunken tone. Montresor approached him. "Are you drunk? You should stop drinking this wine", stated Montresor."You are just mad because I am the only person here enjoying my party. This party could have been more fancy with more fancier wine, your just mad because you are POOOOR",explained Fortunato. Montresor was shocked that Fortunato would say something like that. He was embarrassed because arranged this whole surprise for his friend and in return all he got was an insult.
However, as Fortunato drunk more and more wine, his personality and attitude started changing. Montresor had a feeling that Fortunato had drunk to much wine and he knew that things were going wrong. Fortunato started bumping into his guest and spilling his drink all over himself. Montresor didn't want thing to get out of hand so he quickly ran over to where Fortunato. "Heyyyy, hey buddy, come here" said Fortunato in a drunken tone. Montresor approached him and said "Are you drunk? You should stop drinking this wine, you do not want to embarrass yourself", stated Montresor."You are just mad because I am the only person here enjoying my party. This party could have been more fancy with more fancier wine, your just mad because you are POOOOR",explained Fortunato. Montresor was shocked that Fortunato would say something like so hurtful. He was embarrassed because he arranged this whole surprise party for