Adolescent’s Opinion About Premarital Sex
NATIONAL ECONOMICS UNIVERSITY
Advanced Educational Program
Intake 53
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English for Academic Purposes
REPORT
Topic:
Adolescent’s opinion about premarital sex
Subject: English for Academic Purposes Instructor: M.A Tran Thi Thu Trang Class: Advanced Finance 53B Group 11: Vu Thi Thanh Huong - CQ531827 Pham Minh Phuong - CQ533037 Nguyen Dieu Linh - CQ532100
Table of contents
Abbreviations.........................................................................3
I. Introduction 4
1. Background 4
2. Purposes of the research 4
3. Significance of the research 4
4. Research questions 5
II. Literature review 5
III. Methodolody 9
1. Participants 9
2. Instruments 9
3. Type of research. 9
4. Schedule 9
IV. Findings and discussion 12
1. Factors influencing adolescent’s acceptant of premarital sex...12
2. The advantages of premarital sex 17
3. The disadvantages of premarital sex 20
IV. Conclusion 23
VI. Reference 25
VII. Appendixes....................................................................26
Abbreviations
AIDS : Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome
CDC : Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
HIV : Human Immunodeficiency Virus
HN : Ha Noi
STDs : Sexual Transmitted Diseases
STIs : Sexual Transmitted Infections
I. Introduction
1. Background
Nowadays, sex before marriage is now very popular and common in Western countries, but in Vietnam, there are still different opinions about it. Pre-marital sex, once considered taboo, is now practiced widely by the country’s the adolescent. Facing to the integration of western's cultures, young Vietnamese people’s thinking and lifestyle are becoming open and free, particularly with regards to the trends of living together and having sexual relations before marriage. As more young people are openly thinking about sex, it is necessary to take a comprehensive look into youth’s psychophysiology and sexual knowledge, not just based on Oriental culture, to judge them. Being unknowledgeable and having inappropriate decisions in the definite circumstances may cause adolescent lots of severe consequences for their lives. Seeing the importance of the topic, we conduct this research with the aim of giving information about this issue, including young people’s opinions about having sex before marriage in Ha Noi, as well as some advantages and disadvantages of it
2. Purpose of the research
Illustrating the different opinions of adolescent in HN about sex before marriage.
Improving the perception of adolescent about this issue.
Assisting adolescent to have appropriate option for their future
3. Significance of the research
This research will expound the adolescent’s opinions about premarital sexual relation and provide them some precise information of the topic to help them make the right decision to achieve true happiness in their lives
The skills of conducting a research and writing a report are the perfect preparation for us to apply to a practical project we will study in later semester
4. Research questions:
There are two main questions in our research:
Acceptance of the premarital sex ?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of having sex before marriage?
II. Literature review
To answer two major research questions, we refer to some material from the previous research on this issue, from which we draw a number of benefits and disadvantages of sex before marriage
In terms the advantages of having sex before marriage, an article of realtruth.org pointed out that sex does have tremendous health benefits, some may even surprise you. It relieves stress, boosts one’s immune system, burns calories and improves heart health, increases self-esteem, and can reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Sexual activity can even help one sleep better at night. Undoubtedly, “experts” assert that if you are smart and practice “safe sex,” the health benefits of sexual activity could outweigh the negatives
It cannot be denied that having sex creates chances for couples to experience more thorough understanding to each other, both physically and mentally. Writing in 2011, Kyra Lennon commented on that this is not about whether or not your man is good in bed, it is about whether the two of you are good together . You cannot know how similar your sex drives are without having sex. If one of you has a larger sexual appetite than the other, it can affect the entire relationship. If we had waited until we got married to find out that we weren't compatible in the bedroom, it would have been much more difficult. Also according to Healther Corinna (2008, July 15), the executive director of and lead educator at Scarleteen.com, when we have sex together, we disclose things to each other about what we like and dislike, what we fantasize about, what our unique sexuality and experience of sexual response is like -- things which most people tend to keep pretty private -- so we not only glean new understanding about our partner and ourselves, we can deepen our intimacy by sharing these private things. Because good sex tends to both require and develop good communication -- by telling one another what we want and need; asking the same of them, voicing and negotiating limits and boundaries, even talking about risk management like safer sex and birth control -- sex can be one way we can enhance our communication skills with a partner. As well, while our friends and family can know a lot about how we are as a couple, how a couple is sexually is usually a special, private secret: a part of your relationship which, for the most part, is only experienced by you and your partner
What is also of paramount importance is that premarital sex sets a level of commitment in the relationship between lovers. Darryl Frierson, who was named by Black Enterprise Magazine as one of the 20 Top Black Bloggers of 2012, claimed that it can directly be correlated how much a person is willing to give in a relationship from his/her sexual interactions. At some point you would think that person would want to give their all to satisfy the one they love, so what guarantee is it that will be any different when you are married? Will the person be willing to do anything for you as their mate if they are not willing to do things sexually (within in reason of course)? Moreover, holding off from sex until your wedding night could mean that you rush into a wedding you aren't ready for, just for the sake of having sex. Some relationships have been known to fizzle out once that rush of passion is over, and then what are you left with? A divorce and a broken heart. Having sex before getting married is a way of being absolutely sure that you are getting married for the right reasons, and not because you are thinking with your hormones.
Meeting the human’s primal and natural demand ranks an equal place in the essence of the issue. A pamphlet named “ Pleasure ”, the publication by Britain to meet young people “where they are” and talk openly about sex, concluded that we are no longer able to stop young people from having sex. Because sex itself is not guilty, it is an instinct and essential need of man. In the Mark Sisson’s opinion expressed in his own personal website, what could be more primal than sex? A cross-national study revealed that both men’s and women’s sense of sexual well-being significantly correlated with their general life satisfaction. Not surprisingly, our sexual enjoyment extends far beyond the immediate physical crescendo. It has significance in our broader fulfillment
On the other hand, there are several opposing views about pre-marital sex . They showed us a lot of disadvantages and problems that we have to face when having sex before marriage . According to Rland (2009 March 31), a psychologist, pre-marital sex could cause three bad effects on couples .
First of all , it seems to be difficult to remain the relationship after sex , "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Basically this was an old passage for the ladies to inform that most guys wouldn't marry the girls that would give it up before marriage. This not necessarily true in society today but in some cases there are some truths. As a guy this writer can said that many of the girls that gave it up to him on the first date were never kept for to long and many more became what he called "booty calls". The role of women was not appreciated as well . No one is safe from having their heart broken once or twice in their life
The next problem of course is disease. STDs (Sexually Transmitted Disease) can range from AIDS to genital warts and some are a death sentence. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there are between 800,000 and 900,000 people living with HIV in the Unites States. Through December 2000, a total of 774,467 cases of AIDS have been reported to the CDC; of this number, 448,060 persons(representing 58% of cases) have died (www.AIDS.org). AIDS or HIV can contracted in many ways, drug use is one way but sexual activity is the best known manner to get it. During sex of any kind this disease can be transmitted through blood (from the tiny abrasions that occur during sex), semen, and vaginal secretions. This is no the only disease but it is the deadliest disease associated with sexual activity. Some can agrue that we should use condoms but in fact, they can only protect us in 90% safe if we use in the right way. In addition, research by David Macdonal ( N.D.) shows that : according to the National Post report ,25% of girls 15-25 years old have venereal warts(HPV). Transmission is not prevented by condoms. It is a pre-cursor to cervical cancer. The daughter of a friend of him developed cervical cancer from HPV and may never be able to have children. HPV is incurable. The virus is permanent and the vaccine, Gardasil, doesn't fix it. In the first 5,000 years of civilization, fewer than 20 Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) became common. That is about one every 250 years. In the last 40 years the number of common STIs has skyrocketed to over 60. That's a rate of 1STI/year since North American young people started having sex before marriage, a rate increase of 25,000%. (That's not a typo).
In the 1960s, one in 50 teens had a STI. Now over 1 in 4 does. That's an increase of more than 1250% if infected teens.
Teenage girls who have sex are twice as likely to commit suicide as girls who practice abstinence. ("Point of View" Dec. 10, 2004)
Teenage boys who have sex are seven times more likely to commit suicide than boys who are sexually abstinent. (ibid)
Girls who have abortions are six times more likely to commit suicide than those who do not
The last but not the least con is unwanted pregnancies. Many couples today forget that with great sex comes great responsibility (just trying to lighten the mood). "Approximately one-third of the 6.4 million pregnancies in 2001 (the most recent year for which adequate data are available) in the United States were unwanted." That is approximately 2.13 million pregnancies in which most end up in abortions. Abortions are a very sensitive subject and even if we support it, the mental anguish and guilt associated with it can lead major mental health issues for the women that must go through the process. Most of these unwanted pregnancies are found in teenage and unwed women who were not educated or did not practice safe sex. An unwanted pregnancy can and has destroyed many families and couples.
In conclusion, that are some materials we have found and consulted from previous research. It showed us a clear way on the positive and negatives of sex before marriage. However, our research will show clearer about the view of young people aged 18 to 30 in HN on this issue as well as offer some additional advantages and disadvantages of its with young people today.
III. Methodolody
1. Participants : 120 young people in Ha Noi aged from 18 to 30.
2. Instruments : Questionnaires and interviews
3. Type of research : quantitative and qualitative.
4. Schedule :
|Order number |Time |Activities |Participants |Result expected |
|1 |19/07/2012 – |Finalize the research topic |Huong, Phuong, Linh |Find a final topic of the research which |
| |22/07/2012 |- Find a topic | |is clear, interesting and appropriate |
| | |- Narrow the topic of the research | | |
| | |- Finalize it | | |
|2 |26/07/2012 – |Do research proposal |Huong, Phuong , Linh |- Get the general parts of the research: |
| |29/07/2012 |- Get the parts of the research proposal: | |about what, how to do, and for whom ? |
| | |proposed topic, background, rationale, | |- Set the plan of activities to follow, |
| | |purposes, research method, tentative | |expected targets to try to achieve and |
| | |schedule, outline | |check the working result after completing|
| | |- Devide parts of the research proposal for| | |
| | |each member of the group to finish at home | | |
| | |- Check the parts done together, correct | | |
| | |the mistake and accomplish the research | | |
| | |proposal | | |
|3 |31/07/2012 – |Search for reference and literature review |Huong, Phuong, Linh |- Find the sources of the reference |
| |05/08/2012 |- Look for sources of information ( primary| |- Select the suitable information for the|
| | |and secondary ) | |literature review |
| | |- Select appropriate information for the | | |
| | |research report | | |
| | |- List the sources in the reference and | | |
| | |information in the literature review | | |
|4 |07/08/2012 – |Research tools |Huong, Phuong, Linh |Finish the interviews and questionnaires|
| |21/08/2012 |- Define research tools : interview , | |to collect people’s opinions ( primary |
| | |questionnaire | |data ) |
| | |- Make the draft interviews and | | |
| | |questionnaires: design the content, the | | |
| | |forms and ways to carry out them | | |
| | |- Have some pilot tests and anticipate the | | |
| | |pitfalls to avoid, complete the interviews | | |
| | |and questionnaires | | |
|5 |22/08/2012 – |Data analysis |Huong, Phuong, Linh |Analyse the data collected and make it |
| |28/08/2012 |- Arrange and analyse the data collected | |in the statistical forms to show the |
| | |- Show the data in the forms of graphical | |result clearly |
| | |and tabular presentation of findings | | |
| | |- Relate the findings back to the | | |
| | |hypotheses | | |
|6 |28/08/2012 – |Research writing |Huong, Phuong, Linh |Complete the research for presentation |
| |04/09/2012 |- Finish the parts of the research report ,| | |
| | |use referencing and citation techniques | | |
| | |- Writing and presenting professionally for| | |
| | |intended audience | | |
IV. Findings and discussion
This section presents research findings of this study. It is organized into three sections. The investigation of factors influencing adolescent’s acceptances of premarital sex are presented as the first section. The second section demonstrates advantages and reasons supporting premarital sex. The last section show disadvantages and consequences after premarital sex.
1. Factors influencing adolescent’s acceptance of premarital sex
According to our survey, there are four main factors influencing adolescent’s acceptant of premarital sex: gender, age, place of residence and relationship status.
Gender
Among four factors, gender is considered as the most important factor because it plays an important role on different acceptances of premarital sex. In table 1, it is clearly seen the significant different opinions about premarital sex between 100 selected male and female respondents (50 females and 50 males). There is a massive 76% of males who approve of premarital sex while only 36% of females have the same opinion with them.
According to our data, the answer for this difference is virginity. We live in Viet Nam, a traditional country where women are put under the boundaries of rituals, religion and belief so it is a social norm for females to remain virgins until marriage. In our culture, female virginity is not only highly valued, it is expected. Virginity as a whole is more important for a man who expects every kind of loyalty and truthfulness in his woman. Moreover, female virginity is supposed ego of men that they want to believe that no one has touched his woman before. On the other hand, it is always found that it has never been a matter of concern for women when she is in love and cares by her life partner even if he had relation prior to relationship with her. She has a nature of forgiving or carrying on life with her husband despite knowing that he has had sex with some other women except her, but in the case of men it is just opposite. It is very difficult for him to accept the fact that his life partner also had relations with somebody apart from him. No matter how modernized today’s generation is, the story about a woman in general and the thoughts of a man cannot easily change. Thus, it has a huge effect on acceptances of young people when they decide to have premarital sex or not. For males, it can be acceptable while females will have to deal with many problems after premarital sex
Table 1: Young people’s opinions about premarital sex in both male and female.
| |Agree |Disagree |
|Percentages of males |76% |24% |
|Percentages of females |36% |64% |
Another reason for gender’s influence on adolescent’s acceptance of premarital sex is the frequency that they think about sex. Tables 2 shows the frequency of thinking about sex in 100 selected female and male respondents per week. We can see from the table, adolescent males tend to have higher frequency of sexual thought or behavior. Therefore, males are more likely to approve of premarital than female.
Table 2: The frequency of thinking about sex in male and female per week.
| |Never |Rarely |Occasionally |Many times |
|Number of females |4 |24 |16 |6 |
|Number of males |2 |10 |24 |14 |
Age
Our research has noticed that there is a strong correlation between adolescent’s age and their acceptances of sex before marriage. It is supposed that as age raises, the participant in sexual experience increases. Hence, at different age people have different opinions about premarital sex. Pie chart 3 illustrates how age affects on adolescent’s acceptances of premarital sex. According to this below chart, 44% of adolescents aged from 22 to 25 say agree with premarital sex while only 19% of young people aged from 18 to 22 approve of premarital sex. The ratio of adolescent aged over 25 is 35%.
We have found that at age from 18 to 22, adolescents are students or unemployed so it is very difficult for them to manage their life or have responsibility for their behavior, including premarital sex. However, from 22 to 25, they have graduated from university and they can be self-financed. Moreover, they can obtain many life experience and sexual experience which can help them to avoid bad consequences after premarital sex like unwanted pregnancies or sexually transmitted disease. In addition, the raise of age can also increase opportunities for independent and decision-making. About young people aged over 25, they have trend to get married at this age. Thus, they will change their attitude toward premarital sex and appreciate the value of female virginity. Men usually expect to get married with virgin women while women are more careful with their relationship comparing with younger people aged under 25.
Figure 3: percentage of people who agree premarital sex at different age.
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Place of residence:
The third factor which has great influence on adolescent’s acceptance is their place of residence. There are significant effects on knowledge and awareness of young people toward premarital sex. Our research has pointed out that in different areas, people have different views of premarital sex. For instance, young people who live in urban area are more confident when discussing about premarital sex comparing with those living in rural area. It is explained that urban people have more opportunities to access better sexual education and have an open mind about this issue. Furthermore, adolescents who study aboard seem to have enough useful sexual knowledge and they talk about sex in very natural way without any shame. In contrast, for rural respondents, when we required them to express their idea about premarital sex, some of them refused to answer because of its sensitivity. Among 20 selected respondents for interview, five students studying abroad suppose that premarital sex is common and acceptable and they are willing to agree with premarital sex whenever it is necessary. However, adolescents living in rural area are less likely to say agree to early sexual activity than those living in urban area or studying aboard. It is clear to see that urban young people and overseas students are influenced by Western culture that has motivated increasing trends in premarital sex while traditional custom and Eastern culture play a huge part on rural adolescent’s life.
Relationship status:
Our research has conducted that relationship status is one of four factors which have effect on adolescent’s opinion of premarital sex. Among 100 respondents, there are 68 adolescents who do not have boyfriend (girlfriend) while the rest of them are fall in love with their partners. Table 4 shows two opposing views of adolescents between two groups. Most young people who have lovers agree with premarital sex while nearly 50% of respondents in opposite group think that this issue is hardly acceptable.
We have found that when they are fall in love with someone, their acceptance of premarital sex will be influenced by their boyfriend (girlfriend). Some of them explained that it was very difficult to control their emotion when they loved. It is argued that the expression of love is not only kiss or hug but also sex. Sex plays an important role on their love during the long time because it makes them clearly understand and believe to each other. Besides, it is thought that “when you decide to buy a car you must drive it first’’. Thus for some young people premarital sex is very necessary for them before getting married. On the contrary, nearly half of 70 young people who do not have boyfriend (girlfriend) disapprove of premarital sex and they think that they can wait until marriage.
Table 4: Attitude of adolescents toward premarital sex
| |Agree |Disagree |
|People who do not have boyfriend |36 |32 |
|(girlfriend) | | |
|People who have boyfriend (girlfriend) |28 |4 |
2. The advantages of premarital sex
It can be seen that there are many young people agree on sex before marriage nowadays. This fact proves that premarital sex brings undeniable advantages to our lives and definitely have strong influences on the couples’ loves
In fact, almost half of the people researched which is 45% think that sex before marriage is necessary and beneficial for a relationship. Meanwhile, 35% of them have the answer “yes” to if it is with the guy or the girl they will definitely marry with. From the rest’s viewpoints, premarital sexual relation is okay with other people, but for themselves. And surprisingly, no one totally opposes to it
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According to our research, there are four main advantages of sex before marriage that are popular to adolescent: health benefits, chances to understand more from the partner, setting a commitment in silence and fulfilling your own primal demand
[pic]
First of all, it is obvious that sex does have tremendous health and beauty benefits. According to WebMD, some may even surprise you: it relieves stress, boosts one’s immune system, burns calories, offers a promotion in testosterone for stronger bones and muscles, improves heart health, increases self-esteem, and can reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Sexual activity can even help one sleep better at night, hold the appeal of a totally relaxed face and body – and the inevitable smile the morning after. In addition, regular sexual engagement has prolonged effects in keeping your skin young and bright, strengthening nails and shedding pounds… Undoubtedly, there are dangers for the sexually active person: sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancies, and emotional scarring from a promiscuous lifestyle of multiple sex partners. Nonetheless, “experts” assert that if you are smart and practice “safe sex,” the health benefits of sexual activity could outweigh the negatives. With the same way of thinking, 33% of the people participating in our research answer that this is one of the reasons why they approve of the premarital sex
In the second place, it cannot be denied that sex before marriage creates chances for couples to understand each other more thoroughly, both physically and mentally. According to our research, the majority of young people which is exactly 85% make it the most worth-considering advantage of the premarital sex. More specifically, sex brings bodies and souls of people closer than ever, make the lovers understand each other fully inside out. Just seeing and talking to your partner is not sufficient for you to know his/her entire personality. There can be some hobbies, some characteristics or aspiration of your partner you can be aware of in nowhere other than his or her bed. The important result is that you have chances to check the sex compatibility between the two, find out the real person of your lover and make the right decision before getting married him or her. Sexual compatibility is a crucial aspect of any relationship, whether we want to admit it or not. Don’t you buy a car without driving it first? This is not about whether or not your man is good in bed, instantly judging a man by his prowess is not the best idea. It is about whether the two of you are good together . You cannot know how similar your sex tendency are without having sex. When a couple both have a desire to sleep together, one can be instantly satisfied after having sex, while the other want more. If one of you has a larger sexual appetite than the other, it can affect the entire relationship. Moreover, some people can suffer from their odd fantasies and illusions when having sex that are far different from the person they express in the normal life. In that case, knowing it after the wedding is so not comfortable to the partner. That is why many adolescent hold strong desire to have sex experience with their lovers before getting married
Thirdly, the fact that sex sets a silent commitment between the lover is also of the paramount importance. Almost two out of five people researched nod their heads for premarital sex because of this reason. Nothing says "commitment" like a wedding, but holding off from sex until your wedding night could mean that you rush into a wedding you aren't ready for, just for the sake of having sex. Some relationships have been known to fizzle out once that rush of passion is over. And then what are you left with? a divorce and a broken heart. Having sex before getting married is a way of being absolutely sure that you are getting married for the right reasons, and not because you are thinking with your hormones. More notably, the acceptance for sex shows your intention to have a serious and long-term relationship with your partner. It does mean a commitment in silence and proves that you believe entirely in your love and ready to devote all to your lover. In case of the long-distance relationship, it is so more necessary for couples to maintain the strong love and keep the partner faithful to you. Many studies show that love is not only constructed by emotion, but also by the sexual passion from the two. The decision to have premarital sex makes a strong influences on the progress of taking the relationship to next step, make it stronger and more reliable.
Lastly, one advantage of the premarital sex that cannot be ignored is the fact that it satisfies human’s very natural and instinctive demand. More specifically, sex meets people’s practical, inclusive and nuanced primal self. Living primevally is not an exercise in asceticism or deprivation. It’s about knowing and inhabiting your physical self more appreciatively, more pleasurably as well as responsibly. Sex is not just a procreative act. Though technically unnecessary, it’s far from some isolated, tangentially relevant act. The desire and delight of sex is unique. It is not an interchangeable element of our human experience. The shared intimacy and individual rapture teaches us, reveals to us, unfolds layers of our humanity, and lays bare a sensitivity and vulnerability, a vigor and power otherwise unknown to us. Even in its absence, sex helps define who we are and how we connect with life. Not surprisingly, our sexual enjoyment extends far beyond the immediate physical crescendo. It has significance in our broader fulfillment. There are a mere 15% of adolescent give this as the straightforward answer why they agree on sex before marriage
To sum up, although waiting to have sex is a very respectable thing to do, there is something to be said about sleeping with your partner before your wedding. It is not about getting naked with every guy or girl you meet. It's about living healthily, getting closer to the one you love, setting a commitment for your own relationship ,satisfying the natural demand yourself , and that can only be a good thing.
3. The disadvantages of premarital sex
It can’t be denied that having sex before marriage have many positive impact on our relationship. However, beside that, it also has the negative side made our relationship become worse.
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Our survey showed that the majority of young people agreed premarital sex can make them easily break up. According to our data statistic, 60 percent agree with this opinion, 24 percent said that sex before marriage will lead to unwanted pregnancies, 10 percent of young think that we will get a number of sexually transmitted diseases and many other ideas. We can see that the young people today have right awareness about sex before marriage. They somewhat understand the harm this brings to the personal and emotional life even it isn’t complete. To help people have insight and more fully awareness about this issue, our team will provide you some information which our research has found.
According to the statistics we have indicated above, there are 4 popular disadvantages when premarital sex occurs: broken relationship, unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and moral standard.
First of all, premarital sex is the cause of many broken relationship. Men and women who enjoy sex before marriage are more likely to break up than those that do not. Part of the sexual attraction between opposite gender is definitely the need to be aware of the mystery about one another, once it is revealed the partnership levels off instead of prosper. The thrills have ended; the intensity is lost, so no more to discover when everything has been laid down. Another danger of sex before marriage is that it opens an avenue for distrust and suspicion in the marriage union. Apart from the loss of dignity, honor and self respect the couples would have enjoyed with themselves if they had kept their bodies pure, the chance of suspicion in their relationship will be very high. It may be difficult for those who slept with each other during courtship to trust each other when eventually married. Either of them may be faced with questions such as ‘How am I sure that he/she will be faithful to me if he or she could not discipline himself/herself during courtship?’ What is the assurance that he or she is not sleeping with others if he/she agreed to sleep with me?’ These and several other suspicious thoughts can be precipitated by sex before marriage, and could result in serious emotional stress, disturbance or damage, especially during times of pressures and misunderstandings. The respect for the sexually involved couple for each other is questionable simply because they, themselves, never respect the sacredness of sex. Male are always male, absolutely nothing to lost, the less serious a male to some female, the greater advances he will attempt to take. Male always lost respect to a woman after participating in sex before marriage as they think that she is an easy get and not worth being trusted. Most of men desire to marry a virgin or one who may never have been into sex or sexually pure between marriages. Therefore, when you have sex with your partner before marriage, you can push your relationship to be broken because you who know each other too well and no longer interested in your lover.
Second, premarital sex can lead to unwanted pregnancies. Many couples today forget that with great sex comes great responsibility. Approximately one-third of the 6.4 million pregnancies in 2001 (the most recent year for which adequate data are available) in Viet Nam were unwanted’’. This shows that although we use contraceptives, sometimes we still can’t avoid things that are not as expected. As premarital sex often occurs among teenagers and adolescents, many are not ready for unwanted pregnancies after engaging in premarital sex as they are neither mature nor responsible enough. This causes a number of unwanted pregnancies to be aborted. That is the first way they think when unwanted pregnancies occur but abortion is not as simple as they imagined. It not only affects the health of women, but also can make them unable to have children anymore. In other cases, girls that do not abort their foetus might abandon their babies as soon as they are born as they are unable to raise them. This leads to a rise in the number of babies being abandoned in the country. Even when they decide to marry but not ready to become parents, they can’t take care and raise their children well and not giving them the good education. Also, children born to young couples who are not married might suffer physical, mental or sexual abuse. The number of such cases has been on the rise and it is believed that this is caused by young couples who engage in unprotected premarital sex that are not prepared to rear children.
The next disadvantage is disease. Many diseases that can be spread through sex such as syphilis, gonorrhea…Now, there are over 50 STDs. It can cripple or make life miserable. Some cause birth defect. Furthermore, cervical cancer, a disease that is proven to be more prevalent among sexually active young girls. Among all kind of diseases related to sex, HIV/AIDS is the most common and well-known disease. This is not the only disease but it is the deadliest disease associated with sexual activity.
Last but not least, morality is a factor for many people when deciding whether or not to have premarital sex. We live in Eastern country, our cultures have had many prejudices against sex before marriage so premarital sex will not be accepted from the community and family, especially for girls. When the girl is no longer a virgin, she will not get the respect of the family and society as well as her boyfriend.
There are many other ideas about disadvantages of having sex such as : making female have negative thoughts about life, leading to emotional distress, distrust, regret and emptiness . According to one research, teenage girls who have sex are twice as likely to commit suicide as girls who practice abstinence. It also affects the marriage later, especially with the girls. Numerous studies have shown that people who engage in premarital sex are at high risk to divorce than couples who wait until the wedding…
In conclusion, if you say no with sex before marriage, you can avoid many consequences later. You don’t need to worry about unwanted pregnancies as well as sexually transmitted diseases . Moreover, you still maintain ethical standards. Your family and your loves won’t be disappointed. Above all, no sex before marriage, you will no longer worry about their relationship is dominated by the effects later after sex.
IV. Conclusion
This object of this research is to find out opinions of adolescent about premarital sex. Therefore, our research focus on young people who live and study in Ha Noi aged from eighteen to thirty to illustrate their different opinions on this issue. According to our research, the acceptant of adolescent with sex before marriage is dependent on many factors. However, gender, age, places of residence and relationship status is four main causes have impact on their acceptant towards premarital sex. Among 100 people we surveyed, gender plays an important role in the acceptance of adolescent with sex before marriage. The study finds that most men will agree with this, while only a small number of women agree. Furthermore, in each different age, people have different thoughts. Those over age 25 often have more experience and also mature, most are endorsed pre-marital relations as a litmus test for marriage later. In contrast, young people aged 18 to 22 are more likely to disagree with premarital sex. This shows that the age factor has a great influence on young people's consent for sexual relations before marriage. Besides, we found that places of residence may also affect the decision whether or not premarital sex. Young people living in urban areas have more knowledge on this issue as well as have a more liberal view on sex before marriage, so they easily agree than those live in rural area . Similar to those used to study aboard influenced by the Western life are more likely to agreed with participating in pre-marital sex than those still influenced a lot of Eastern culture. Moreover, young people are in a relationship who affected by the lover is easy to agree with this than those who are single. It shows the relationship status also have effect on the decision of adolescent.
Sex is one of the important factors of life as well as in marriage. "Is it ok to have premarital sex?" That is a common question among young people. Our research has found that on the positive side of the scale, there is acceptance from your peers, hope for pleasure, and the fulfillment of sexual desires. Beside that it also has the negative side. Sex in itself, is not wrong; but premarital sex may harm the mental development of adults in several forms. Premarital sexual experiences, many a times, leads to the misconception that sex is to be enjoyed at whatever ways possible. Forced premarital lovemaking will lead to mental depression and dilemma. Another danger is possible exchange of diseases; as premarital partners may not be aware of diseases that spread through intercourses. Getting pregnant through premarital sex is another disaster. Emotional imbalances and guilt feeling could be the result of most premarital sexual affairs. Therefore, what is the right choice? I think after reading our research you can make your own decision.
However, because this is the first time we do this kind of research and preparation time is too short, we still have many deficiencies. The number of people surveyed and interviewed just about 120 people so the statistics are not accurate and do not reflect the opinions of young people on this issue. Moreover, because we lack of experiences, the analysis is not clear and complete. Besides that, the advantages and disadvantages of premarital are not comprehensive. We believe that the next research will be better with all the necessary information as well as more valuable.
VI. Reference
The real truth (2009). What’s So Wrong With Sex Before Marriage?. Retrieved August 15, 2012 from realtruth.org. Website : http://realtruth.org/articles/090907-004-society.html
Lennon, K. (2011). Benefits of sex before marriage. Retrieved August 15, 2012 from Shine Yahoo. Website : http://shine.yahoo.com/benefits-sex-...182000866.html
Corinna, H. (2008, July 15). Get Real! What Are Some of the Benefits of Having Sex? Retrieved August 15, 2012 from Rh reality Check. Website: http://www.rhrealitycheck.org /blog/2...its-having-sex
Diggame ( 2011, September 29). Not having sex before Marriage is a Setup For Failure. Retrieved August 15, 2012 from Ashy to Classy. Website : http://ashy2classy.net/2011/09/ 29/no...p-for-failure/
Rlanda ( 2009, March 31 ). Pros and Cons of sex before marriage . Retrieved 2012 August 18 from hubpage website : http://rlanda.hubpages.com/hub/Pros-...fore-marriage
Macdonnal, D. (N.D). What's wrong with sex before marriage?. Retrieved 2012 August 18 from davidmacd website : http://www.davidmacd.com/catholic/chastity.htm
Roberts, L. ( 2010, Febuary 28 ). Health. Couples who dont have sex before marriage are happier study claims. Retrieved 2012 August 18 from the telegraph website : http://www. telegraph.co.uk/health/he...dy-claims.html
Góc nhìn mở về dạy con chuyện ấy ( 2012, June 14). Retrieved August 15, 2012 from edu.go.vn. Website : http://edu.go.vn/e-tap-chi/tin/8/110...n-ay'.htmlz
VII. Appendixes
1. Interview : • Personal information
1. What's your name ?
2. How old are you ?
3. What do you do ? ( student , unemployment ... )
4. Which's university ( if any )
• Main questions :
1. Do you have girlfriend ( boyfriend) ?
2. Have you ever thought about sex before marriage ?
3. Is it acceptable ? if you agree
4. Give me some reasons supporting your ideas
5. What's about bad effects or some consequences ( unwanted pregnacies , sex transmission diseases - STD , culture , moral ) ? if you don't agree
6. Do you think you can remain your relationship without sex ? Give me some reasons supporting your ideas
7. What will you do if your girlfriend ( boyfriend) ask you to do that ?
2. Questionnaire
1. How old are you ?
A. 18-22
B. 22-25
C. 25-30
2. What is your job ?
A. High school pupil
B. Student
C. Employee
D. Others (……..)
3. What is your gender
A. Male
B. Female
C. Others (……..)
4. What is your relationship status ?
A. Being with a partner (boyfriend/girlfriend)
B. Married
C. Single
5. How do you feel about having sex before marriage ?
A. It is necessary and beneficial for a relationship
B. It is alright if I am sure that’s the guy/the girl I will definitely marry with
C. It is ok with other people, but not for me
D. It is totally unacceptable
If your answer is A or B in question 5, please go to question 6,7,8
If your answer is A or B in question 5, please go to question 9,10,11
6. Give some reasons ( possible to pick more than one choice )
A. Sex have tremendous health benefits
B. It creates chances for couples to understand each other, both physically and mentally
C. Premarital sex sets a level of commitment in the relationship
D. It is the primal and natural demand of man
E. Others ( ……..)
7. If people around find out you had premarital sex, how do you feel ?
A. Absolutely not, there is no need to hide
B. Yeah, it’s not good but I’ll face it
C. Yes, I will run away from everyone to be alone
D. It’s terrible, I will suicide if that happens
8. If your partner wants to break up with you after having premarital sex , how do you think ?
A. There’s no way, he/she must have responsibility with me
B. I’ll try to use that as a reason to keep him/her beside me
C. It’s his/her own decision, I’ll let him/her go
D. I will never see his/her face again
9. Give some reasons ( possible to pick more than one choice )
A. People will lose interest in each other and become fed up with the relationship rapidly after having what they want
B. Possibilities to get sexually transmitted diseases ( AIDS, syphilis, venereal warts…)
C. Unwanted pregnancies
D. It is not right with religious/cultural traditions
E. Others (………)
10. Do you think about sex when you are/were not married ?
A. Yes, many times
B. Occasionally
C. Rarely
D. Never
11. What will you do if your partner ask you to do it ?
A. Feel offended and break up with him/her
B. Try to persuade him/her to wait
C. I will think about it again
D. Agree him/her to do it with someone else
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Hanoi - 2012
Advanced Educational Program
Intake 53
----------------((---------------
English for Academic Purposes
REPORT
Topic:
Adolescent’s opinion about premarital sex
Subject: English for Academic Purposes Instructor: M.A Tran Thi Thu Trang Class: Advanced Finance 53B Group 11: Vu Thi Thanh Huong - CQ531827 Pham Minh Phuong - CQ533037 Nguyen Dieu Linh - CQ532100
Table of contents
Abbreviations.........................................................................3
I. Introduction 4
1. Background 4
2. Purposes of the research 4
3. Significance of the research 4
4. Research questions 5
II. Literature review 5
III. Methodolody 9
1. Participants 9
2. Instruments 9
3. Type of research. 9
4. Schedule 9
IV. Findings and discussion 12
1. Factors influencing adolescent’s acceptant of premarital sex...12
2. The advantages of premarital sex 17
3. The disadvantages of premarital sex 20
IV. Conclusion 23
VI. Reference 25
VII. Appendixes....................................................................26
Abbreviations
AIDS : Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome
CDC : Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
HIV : Human Immunodeficiency Virus
HN : Ha Noi
STDs : Sexual Transmitted Diseases
STIs : Sexual Transmitted Infections
I. Introduction
1. Background
Nowadays, sex before marriage is now very popular and common in Western countries, but in Vietnam, there are still different opinions about it. Pre-marital sex, once considered taboo, is now practiced widely by the country’s the adolescent. Facing to the integration of western's cultures, young Vietnamese people’s thinking and lifestyle are becoming open and free, particularly with regards to the trends of living together and having sexual relations before marriage. As more young people are openly thinking about sex, it is necessary to take a comprehensive look into youth’s psychophysiology and sexual knowledge, not just based on Oriental culture, to judge them. Being unknowledgeable and having inappropriate decisions in the definite circumstances may cause adolescent lots of severe consequences for their lives. Seeing the importance of the topic, we conduct this research with the aim of giving information about this issue, including young people’s opinions about having sex before marriage in Ha Noi, as well as some advantages and disadvantages of it
2. Purpose of the research
Illustrating the different opinions of adolescent in HN about sex before marriage.
Improving the perception of adolescent about this issue.
Assisting adolescent to have appropriate option for their future
3. Significance of the research
This research will expound the adolescent’s opinions about premarital sexual relation and provide them some precise information of the topic to help them make the right decision to achieve true happiness in their lives
The skills of conducting a research and writing a report are the perfect preparation for us to apply to a practical project we will study in later semester
4. Research questions:
There are two main questions in our research:
Acceptance of the premarital sex ?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of having sex before marriage?
II. Literature review
To answer two major research questions, we refer to some material from the previous research on this issue, from which we draw a number of benefits and disadvantages of sex before marriage
In terms the advantages of having sex before marriage, an article of realtruth.org pointed out that sex does have tremendous health benefits, some may even surprise you. It relieves stress, boosts one’s immune system, burns calories and improves heart health, increases self-esteem, and can reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Sexual activity can even help one sleep better at night. Undoubtedly, “experts” assert that if you are smart and practice “safe sex,” the health benefits of sexual activity could outweigh the negatives
It cannot be denied that having sex creates chances for couples to experience more thorough understanding to each other, both physically and mentally. Writing in 2011, Kyra Lennon commented on that this is not about whether or not your man is good in bed, it is about whether the two of you are good together . You cannot know how similar your sex drives are without having sex. If one of you has a larger sexual appetite than the other, it can affect the entire relationship. If we had waited until we got married to find out that we weren't compatible in the bedroom, it would have been much more difficult. Also according to Healther Corinna (2008, July 15), the executive director of and lead educator at Scarleteen.com, when we have sex together, we disclose things to each other about what we like and dislike, what we fantasize about, what our unique sexuality and experience of sexual response is like -- things which most people tend to keep pretty private -- so we not only glean new understanding about our partner and ourselves, we can deepen our intimacy by sharing these private things. Because good sex tends to both require and develop good communication -- by telling one another what we want and need; asking the same of them, voicing and negotiating limits and boundaries, even talking about risk management like safer sex and birth control -- sex can be one way we can enhance our communication skills with a partner. As well, while our friends and family can know a lot about how we are as a couple, how a couple is sexually is usually a special, private secret: a part of your relationship which, for the most part, is only experienced by you and your partner
What is also of paramount importance is that premarital sex sets a level of commitment in the relationship between lovers. Darryl Frierson, who was named by Black Enterprise Magazine as one of the 20 Top Black Bloggers of 2012, claimed that it can directly be correlated how much a person is willing to give in a relationship from his/her sexual interactions. At some point you would think that person would want to give their all to satisfy the one they love, so what guarantee is it that will be any different when you are married? Will the person be willing to do anything for you as their mate if they are not willing to do things sexually (within in reason of course)? Moreover, holding off from sex until your wedding night could mean that you rush into a wedding you aren't ready for, just for the sake of having sex. Some relationships have been known to fizzle out once that rush of passion is over, and then what are you left with? A divorce and a broken heart. Having sex before getting married is a way of being absolutely sure that you are getting married for the right reasons, and not because you are thinking with your hormones.
Meeting the human’s primal and natural demand ranks an equal place in the essence of the issue. A pamphlet named “ Pleasure ”, the publication by Britain to meet young people “where they are” and talk openly about sex, concluded that we are no longer able to stop young people from having sex. Because sex itself is not guilty, it is an instinct and essential need of man. In the Mark Sisson’s opinion expressed in his own personal website, what could be more primal than sex? A cross-national study revealed that both men’s and women’s sense of sexual well-being significantly correlated with their general life satisfaction. Not surprisingly, our sexual enjoyment extends far beyond the immediate physical crescendo. It has significance in our broader fulfillment
On the other hand, there are several opposing views about pre-marital sex . They showed us a lot of disadvantages and problems that we have to face when having sex before marriage . According to Rland (2009 March 31), a psychologist, pre-marital sex could cause three bad effects on couples .
First of all , it seems to be difficult to remain the relationship after sex , "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Basically this was an old passage for the ladies to inform that most guys wouldn't marry the girls that would give it up before marriage. This not necessarily true in society today but in some cases there are some truths. As a guy this writer can said that many of the girls that gave it up to him on the first date were never kept for to long and many more became what he called "booty calls". The role of women was not appreciated as well . No one is safe from having their heart broken once or twice in their life
The next problem of course is disease. STDs (Sexually Transmitted Disease) can range from AIDS to genital warts and some are a death sentence. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there are between 800,000 and 900,000 people living with HIV in the Unites States. Through December 2000, a total of 774,467 cases of AIDS have been reported to the CDC; of this number, 448,060 persons(representing 58% of cases) have died (www.AIDS.org). AIDS or HIV can contracted in many ways, drug use is one way but sexual activity is the best known manner to get it. During sex of any kind this disease can be transmitted through blood (from the tiny abrasions that occur during sex), semen, and vaginal secretions. This is no the only disease but it is the deadliest disease associated with sexual activity. Some can agrue that we should use condoms but in fact, they can only protect us in 90% safe if we use in the right way. In addition, research by David Macdonal ( N.D.) shows that : according to the National Post report ,25% of girls 15-25 years old have venereal warts(HPV). Transmission is not prevented by condoms. It is a pre-cursor to cervical cancer. The daughter of a friend of him developed cervical cancer from HPV and may never be able to have children. HPV is incurable. The virus is permanent and the vaccine, Gardasil, doesn't fix it. In the first 5,000 years of civilization, fewer than 20 Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) became common. That is about one every 250 years. In the last 40 years the number of common STIs has skyrocketed to over 60. That's a rate of 1STI/year since North American young people started having sex before marriage, a rate increase of 25,000%. (That's not a typo).
In the 1960s, one in 50 teens had a STI. Now over 1 in 4 does. That's an increase of more than 1250% if infected teens.
Teenage girls who have sex are twice as likely to commit suicide as girls who practice abstinence. ("Point of View" Dec. 10, 2004)
Teenage boys who have sex are seven times more likely to commit suicide than boys who are sexually abstinent. (ibid)
Girls who have abortions are six times more likely to commit suicide than those who do not
The last but not the least con is unwanted pregnancies. Many couples today forget that with great sex comes great responsibility (just trying to lighten the mood). "Approximately one-third of the 6.4 million pregnancies in 2001 (the most recent year for which adequate data are available) in the United States were unwanted." That is approximately 2.13 million pregnancies in which most end up in abortions. Abortions are a very sensitive subject and even if we support it, the mental anguish and guilt associated with it can lead major mental health issues for the women that must go through the process. Most of these unwanted pregnancies are found in teenage and unwed women who were not educated or did not practice safe sex. An unwanted pregnancy can and has destroyed many families and couples.
In conclusion, that are some materials we have found and consulted from previous research. It showed us a clear way on the positive and negatives of sex before marriage. However, our research will show clearer about the view of young people aged 18 to 30 in HN on this issue as well as offer some additional advantages and disadvantages of its with young people today.
III. Methodolody
1. Participants : 120 young people in Ha Noi aged from 18 to 30.
2. Instruments : Questionnaires and interviews
3. Type of research : quantitative and qualitative.
4. Schedule :
|Order number |Time |Activities |Participants |Result expected |
|1 |19/07/2012 – |Finalize the research topic |Huong, Phuong, Linh |Find a final topic of the research which |
| |22/07/2012 |- Find a topic | |is clear, interesting and appropriate |
| | |- Narrow the topic of the research | | |
| | |- Finalize it | | |
|2 |26/07/2012 – |Do research proposal |Huong, Phuong , Linh |- Get the general parts of the research: |
| |29/07/2012 |- Get the parts of the research proposal: | |about what, how to do, and for whom ? |
| | |proposed topic, background, rationale, | |- Set the plan of activities to follow, |
| | |purposes, research method, tentative | |expected targets to try to achieve and |
| | |schedule, outline | |check the working result after completing|
| | |- Devide parts of the research proposal for| | |
| | |each member of the group to finish at home | | |
| | |- Check the parts done together, correct | | |
| | |the mistake and accomplish the research | | |
| | |proposal | | |
|3 |31/07/2012 – |Search for reference and literature review |Huong, Phuong, Linh |- Find the sources of the reference |
| |05/08/2012 |- Look for sources of information ( primary| |- Select the suitable information for the|
| | |and secondary ) | |literature review |
| | |- Select appropriate information for the | | |
| | |research report | | |
| | |- List the sources in the reference and | | |
| | |information in the literature review | | |
|4 |07/08/2012 – |Research tools |Huong, Phuong, Linh |Finish the interviews and questionnaires|
| |21/08/2012 |- Define research tools : interview , | |to collect people’s opinions ( primary |
| | |questionnaire | |data ) |
| | |- Make the draft interviews and | | |
| | |questionnaires: design the content, the | | |
| | |forms and ways to carry out them | | |
| | |- Have some pilot tests and anticipate the | | |
| | |pitfalls to avoid, complete the interviews | | |
| | |and questionnaires | | |
|5 |22/08/2012 – |Data analysis |Huong, Phuong, Linh |Analyse the data collected and make it |
| |28/08/2012 |- Arrange and analyse the data collected | |in the statistical forms to show the |
| | |- Show the data in the forms of graphical | |result clearly |
| | |and tabular presentation of findings | | |
| | |- Relate the findings back to the | | |
| | |hypotheses | | |
|6 |28/08/2012 – |Research writing |Huong, Phuong, Linh |Complete the research for presentation |
| |04/09/2012 |- Finish the parts of the research report ,| | |
| | |use referencing and citation techniques | | |
| | |- Writing and presenting professionally for| | |
| | |intended audience | | |
IV. Findings and discussion
This section presents research findings of this study. It is organized into three sections. The investigation of factors influencing adolescent’s acceptances of premarital sex are presented as the first section. The second section demonstrates advantages and reasons supporting premarital sex. The last section show disadvantages and consequences after premarital sex.
1. Factors influencing adolescent’s acceptance of premarital sex
According to our survey, there are four main factors influencing adolescent’s acceptant of premarital sex: gender, age, place of residence and relationship status.
Gender
Among four factors, gender is considered as the most important factor because it plays an important role on different acceptances of premarital sex. In table 1, it is clearly seen the significant different opinions about premarital sex between 100 selected male and female respondents (50 females and 50 males). There is a massive 76% of males who approve of premarital sex while only 36% of females have the same opinion with them.
According to our data, the answer for this difference is virginity. We live in Viet Nam, a traditional country where women are put under the boundaries of rituals, religion and belief so it is a social norm for females to remain virgins until marriage. In our culture, female virginity is not only highly valued, it is expected. Virginity as a whole is more important for a man who expects every kind of loyalty and truthfulness in his woman. Moreover, female virginity is supposed ego of men that they want to believe that no one has touched his woman before. On the other hand, it is always found that it has never been a matter of concern for women when she is in love and cares by her life partner even if he had relation prior to relationship with her. She has a nature of forgiving or carrying on life with her husband despite knowing that he has had sex with some other women except her, but in the case of men it is just opposite. It is very difficult for him to accept the fact that his life partner also had relations with somebody apart from him. No matter how modernized today’s generation is, the story about a woman in general and the thoughts of a man cannot easily change. Thus, it has a huge effect on acceptances of young people when they decide to have premarital sex or not. For males, it can be acceptable while females will have to deal with many problems after premarital sex
Table 1: Young people’s opinions about premarital sex in both male and female.
| |Agree |Disagree |
|Percentages of males |76% |24% |
|Percentages of females |36% |64% |
Another reason for gender’s influence on adolescent’s acceptance of premarital sex is the frequency that they think about sex. Tables 2 shows the frequency of thinking about sex in 100 selected female and male respondents per week. We can see from the table, adolescent males tend to have higher frequency of sexual thought or behavior. Therefore, males are more likely to approve of premarital than female.
Table 2: The frequency of thinking about sex in male and female per week.
| |Never |Rarely |Occasionally |Many times |
|Number of females |4 |24 |16 |6 |
|Number of males |2 |10 |24 |14 |
Age
Our research has noticed that there is a strong correlation between adolescent’s age and their acceptances of sex before marriage. It is supposed that as age raises, the participant in sexual experience increases. Hence, at different age people have different opinions about premarital sex. Pie chart 3 illustrates how age affects on adolescent’s acceptances of premarital sex. According to this below chart, 44% of adolescents aged from 22 to 25 say agree with premarital sex while only 19% of young people aged from 18 to 22 approve of premarital sex. The ratio of adolescent aged over 25 is 35%.
We have found that at age from 18 to 22, adolescents are students or unemployed so it is very difficult for them to manage their life or have responsibility for their behavior, including premarital sex. However, from 22 to 25, they have graduated from university and they can be self-financed. Moreover, they can obtain many life experience and sexual experience which can help them to avoid bad consequences after premarital sex like unwanted pregnancies or sexually transmitted disease. In addition, the raise of age can also increase opportunities for independent and decision-making. About young people aged over 25, they have trend to get married at this age. Thus, they will change their attitude toward premarital sex and appreciate the value of female virginity. Men usually expect to get married with virgin women while women are more careful with their relationship comparing with younger people aged under 25.
Figure 3: percentage of people who agree premarital sex at different age.
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Place of residence:
The third factor which has great influence on adolescent’s acceptance is their place of residence. There are significant effects on knowledge and awareness of young people toward premarital sex. Our research has pointed out that in different areas, people have different views of premarital sex. For instance, young people who live in urban area are more confident when discussing about premarital sex comparing with those living in rural area. It is explained that urban people have more opportunities to access better sexual education and have an open mind about this issue. Furthermore, adolescents who study aboard seem to have enough useful sexual knowledge and they talk about sex in very natural way without any shame. In contrast, for rural respondents, when we required them to express their idea about premarital sex, some of them refused to answer because of its sensitivity. Among 20 selected respondents for interview, five students studying abroad suppose that premarital sex is common and acceptable and they are willing to agree with premarital sex whenever it is necessary. However, adolescents living in rural area are less likely to say agree to early sexual activity than those living in urban area or studying aboard. It is clear to see that urban young people and overseas students are influenced by Western culture that has motivated increasing trends in premarital sex while traditional custom and Eastern culture play a huge part on rural adolescent’s life.
Relationship status:
Our research has conducted that relationship status is one of four factors which have effect on adolescent’s opinion of premarital sex. Among 100 respondents, there are 68 adolescents who do not have boyfriend (girlfriend) while the rest of them are fall in love with their partners. Table 4 shows two opposing views of adolescents between two groups. Most young people who have lovers agree with premarital sex while nearly 50% of respondents in opposite group think that this issue is hardly acceptable.
We have found that when they are fall in love with someone, their acceptance of premarital sex will be influenced by their boyfriend (girlfriend). Some of them explained that it was very difficult to control their emotion when they loved. It is argued that the expression of love is not only kiss or hug but also sex. Sex plays an important role on their love during the long time because it makes them clearly understand and believe to each other. Besides, it is thought that “when you decide to buy a car you must drive it first’’. Thus for some young people premarital sex is very necessary for them before getting married. On the contrary, nearly half of 70 young people who do not have boyfriend (girlfriend) disapprove of premarital sex and they think that they can wait until marriage.
Table 4: Attitude of adolescents toward premarital sex
| |Agree |Disagree |
|People who do not have boyfriend |36 |32 |
|(girlfriend) | | |
|People who have boyfriend (girlfriend) |28 |4 |
2. The advantages of premarital sex
It can be seen that there are many young people agree on sex before marriage nowadays. This fact proves that premarital sex brings undeniable advantages to our lives and definitely have strong influences on the couples’ loves
In fact, almost half of the people researched which is 45% think that sex before marriage is necessary and beneficial for a relationship. Meanwhile, 35% of them have the answer “yes” to if it is with the guy or the girl they will definitely marry with. From the rest’s viewpoints, premarital sexual relation is okay with other people, but for themselves. And surprisingly, no one totally opposes to it
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According to our research, there are four main advantages of sex before marriage that are popular to adolescent: health benefits, chances to understand more from the partner, setting a commitment in silence and fulfilling your own primal demand
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First of all, it is obvious that sex does have tremendous health and beauty benefits. According to WebMD, some may even surprise you: it relieves stress, boosts one’s immune system, burns calories, offers a promotion in testosterone for stronger bones and muscles, improves heart health, increases self-esteem, and can reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Sexual activity can even help one sleep better at night, hold the appeal of a totally relaxed face and body – and the inevitable smile the morning after. In addition, regular sexual engagement has prolonged effects in keeping your skin young and bright, strengthening nails and shedding pounds… Undoubtedly, there are dangers for the sexually active person: sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancies, and emotional scarring from a promiscuous lifestyle of multiple sex partners. Nonetheless, “experts” assert that if you are smart and practice “safe sex,” the health benefits of sexual activity could outweigh the negatives. With the same way of thinking, 33% of the people participating in our research answer that this is one of the reasons why they approve of the premarital sex
In the second place, it cannot be denied that sex before marriage creates chances for couples to understand each other more thoroughly, both physically and mentally. According to our research, the majority of young people which is exactly 85% make it the most worth-considering advantage of the premarital sex. More specifically, sex brings bodies and souls of people closer than ever, make the lovers understand each other fully inside out. Just seeing and talking to your partner is not sufficient for you to know his/her entire personality. There can be some hobbies, some characteristics or aspiration of your partner you can be aware of in nowhere other than his or her bed. The important result is that you have chances to check the sex compatibility between the two, find out the real person of your lover and make the right decision before getting married him or her. Sexual compatibility is a crucial aspect of any relationship, whether we want to admit it or not. Don’t you buy a car without driving it first? This is not about whether or not your man is good in bed, instantly judging a man by his prowess is not the best idea. It is about whether the two of you are good together . You cannot know how similar your sex tendency are without having sex. When a couple both have a desire to sleep together, one can be instantly satisfied after having sex, while the other want more. If one of you has a larger sexual appetite than the other, it can affect the entire relationship. Moreover, some people can suffer from their odd fantasies and illusions when having sex that are far different from the person they express in the normal life. In that case, knowing it after the wedding is so not comfortable to the partner. That is why many adolescent hold strong desire to have sex experience with their lovers before getting married
Thirdly, the fact that sex sets a silent commitment between the lover is also of the paramount importance. Almost two out of five people researched nod their heads for premarital sex because of this reason. Nothing says "commitment" like a wedding, but holding off from sex until your wedding night could mean that you rush into a wedding you aren't ready for, just for the sake of having sex. Some relationships have been known to fizzle out once that rush of passion is over. And then what are you left with? a divorce and a broken heart. Having sex before getting married is a way of being absolutely sure that you are getting married for the right reasons, and not because you are thinking with your hormones. More notably, the acceptance for sex shows your intention to have a serious and long-term relationship with your partner. It does mean a commitment in silence and proves that you believe entirely in your love and ready to devote all to your lover. In case of the long-distance relationship, it is so more necessary for couples to maintain the strong love and keep the partner faithful to you. Many studies show that love is not only constructed by emotion, but also by the sexual passion from the two. The decision to have premarital sex makes a strong influences on the progress of taking the relationship to next step, make it stronger and more reliable.
Lastly, one advantage of the premarital sex that cannot be ignored is the fact that it satisfies human’s very natural and instinctive demand. More specifically, sex meets people’s practical, inclusive and nuanced primal self. Living primevally is not an exercise in asceticism or deprivation. It’s about knowing and inhabiting your physical self more appreciatively, more pleasurably as well as responsibly. Sex is not just a procreative act. Though technically unnecessary, it’s far from some isolated, tangentially relevant act. The desire and delight of sex is unique. It is not an interchangeable element of our human experience. The shared intimacy and individual rapture teaches us, reveals to us, unfolds layers of our humanity, and lays bare a sensitivity and vulnerability, a vigor and power otherwise unknown to us. Even in its absence, sex helps define who we are and how we connect with life. Not surprisingly, our sexual enjoyment extends far beyond the immediate physical crescendo. It has significance in our broader fulfillment. There are a mere 15% of adolescent give this as the straightforward answer why they agree on sex before marriage
To sum up, although waiting to have sex is a very respectable thing to do, there is something to be said about sleeping with your partner before your wedding. It is not about getting naked with every guy or girl you meet. It's about living healthily, getting closer to the one you love, setting a commitment for your own relationship ,satisfying the natural demand yourself , and that can only be a good thing.
3. The disadvantages of premarital sex
It can’t be denied that having sex before marriage have many positive impact on our relationship. However, beside that, it also has the negative side made our relationship become worse.
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Our survey showed that the majority of young people agreed premarital sex can make them easily break up. According to our data statistic, 60 percent agree with this opinion, 24 percent said that sex before marriage will lead to unwanted pregnancies, 10 percent of young think that we will get a number of sexually transmitted diseases and many other ideas. We can see that the young people today have right awareness about sex before marriage. They somewhat understand the harm this brings to the personal and emotional life even it isn’t complete. To help people have insight and more fully awareness about this issue, our team will provide you some information which our research has found.
According to the statistics we have indicated above, there are 4 popular disadvantages when premarital sex occurs: broken relationship, unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and moral standard.
First of all, premarital sex is the cause of many broken relationship. Men and women who enjoy sex before marriage are more likely to break up than those that do not. Part of the sexual attraction between opposite gender is definitely the need to be aware of the mystery about one another, once it is revealed the partnership levels off instead of prosper. The thrills have ended; the intensity is lost, so no more to discover when everything has been laid down. Another danger of sex before marriage is that it opens an avenue for distrust and suspicion in the marriage union. Apart from the loss of dignity, honor and self respect the couples would have enjoyed with themselves if they had kept their bodies pure, the chance of suspicion in their relationship will be very high. It may be difficult for those who slept with each other during courtship to trust each other when eventually married. Either of them may be faced with questions such as ‘How am I sure that he/she will be faithful to me if he or she could not discipline himself/herself during courtship?’ What is the assurance that he or she is not sleeping with others if he/she agreed to sleep with me?’ These and several other suspicious thoughts can be precipitated by sex before marriage, and could result in serious emotional stress, disturbance or damage, especially during times of pressures and misunderstandings. The respect for the sexually involved couple for each other is questionable simply because they, themselves, never respect the sacredness of sex. Male are always male, absolutely nothing to lost, the less serious a male to some female, the greater advances he will attempt to take. Male always lost respect to a woman after participating in sex before marriage as they think that she is an easy get and not worth being trusted. Most of men desire to marry a virgin or one who may never have been into sex or sexually pure between marriages. Therefore, when you have sex with your partner before marriage, you can push your relationship to be broken because you who know each other too well and no longer interested in your lover.
Second, premarital sex can lead to unwanted pregnancies. Many couples today forget that with great sex comes great responsibility. Approximately one-third of the 6.4 million pregnancies in 2001 (the most recent year for which adequate data are available) in Viet Nam were unwanted’’. This shows that although we use contraceptives, sometimes we still can’t avoid things that are not as expected. As premarital sex often occurs among teenagers and adolescents, many are not ready for unwanted pregnancies after engaging in premarital sex as they are neither mature nor responsible enough. This causes a number of unwanted pregnancies to be aborted. That is the first way they think when unwanted pregnancies occur but abortion is not as simple as they imagined. It not only affects the health of women, but also can make them unable to have children anymore. In other cases, girls that do not abort their foetus might abandon their babies as soon as they are born as they are unable to raise them. This leads to a rise in the number of babies being abandoned in the country. Even when they decide to marry but not ready to become parents, they can’t take care and raise their children well and not giving them the good education. Also, children born to young couples who are not married might suffer physical, mental or sexual abuse. The number of such cases has been on the rise and it is believed that this is caused by young couples who engage in unprotected premarital sex that are not prepared to rear children.
The next disadvantage is disease. Many diseases that can be spread through sex such as syphilis, gonorrhea…Now, there are over 50 STDs. It can cripple or make life miserable. Some cause birth defect. Furthermore, cervical cancer, a disease that is proven to be more prevalent among sexually active young girls. Among all kind of diseases related to sex, HIV/AIDS is the most common and well-known disease. This is not the only disease but it is the deadliest disease associated with sexual activity.
Last but not least, morality is a factor for many people when deciding whether or not to have premarital sex. We live in Eastern country, our cultures have had many prejudices against sex before marriage so premarital sex will not be accepted from the community and family, especially for girls. When the girl is no longer a virgin, she will not get the respect of the family and society as well as her boyfriend.
There are many other ideas about disadvantages of having sex such as : making female have negative thoughts about life, leading to emotional distress, distrust, regret and emptiness . According to one research, teenage girls who have sex are twice as likely to commit suicide as girls who practice abstinence. It also affects the marriage later, especially with the girls. Numerous studies have shown that people who engage in premarital sex are at high risk to divorce than couples who wait until the wedding…
In conclusion, if you say no with sex before marriage, you can avoid many consequences later. You don’t need to worry about unwanted pregnancies as well as sexually transmitted diseases . Moreover, you still maintain ethical standards. Your family and your loves won’t be disappointed. Above all, no sex before marriage, you will no longer worry about their relationship is dominated by the effects later after sex.
IV. Conclusion
This object of this research is to find out opinions of adolescent about premarital sex. Therefore, our research focus on young people who live and study in Ha Noi aged from eighteen to thirty to illustrate their different opinions on this issue. According to our research, the acceptant of adolescent with sex before marriage is dependent on many factors. However, gender, age, places of residence and relationship status is four main causes have impact on their acceptant towards premarital sex. Among 100 people we surveyed, gender plays an important role in the acceptance of adolescent with sex before marriage. The study finds that most men will agree with this, while only a small number of women agree. Furthermore, in each different age, people have different thoughts. Those over age 25 often have more experience and also mature, most are endorsed pre-marital relations as a litmus test for marriage later. In contrast, young people aged 18 to 22 are more likely to disagree with premarital sex. This shows that the age factor has a great influence on young people's consent for sexual relations before marriage. Besides, we found that places of residence may also affect the decision whether or not premarital sex. Young people living in urban areas have more knowledge on this issue as well as have a more liberal view on sex before marriage, so they easily agree than those live in rural area . Similar to those used to study aboard influenced by the Western life are more likely to agreed with participating in pre-marital sex than those still influenced a lot of Eastern culture. Moreover, young people are in a relationship who affected by the lover is easy to agree with this than those who are single. It shows the relationship status also have effect on the decision of adolescent.
Sex is one of the important factors of life as well as in marriage. "Is it ok to have premarital sex?" That is a common question among young people. Our research has found that on the positive side of the scale, there is acceptance from your peers, hope for pleasure, and the fulfillment of sexual desires. Beside that it also has the negative side. Sex in itself, is not wrong; but premarital sex may harm the mental development of adults in several forms. Premarital sexual experiences, many a times, leads to the misconception that sex is to be enjoyed at whatever ways possible. Forced premarital lovemaking will lead to mental depression and dilemma. Another danger is possible exchange of diseases; as premarital partners may not be aware of diseases that spread through intercourses. Getting pregnant through premarital sex is another disaster. Emotional imbalances and guilt feeling could be the result of most premarital sexual affairs. Therefore, what is the right choice? I think after reading our research you can make your own decision.
However, because this is the first time we do this kind of research and preparation time is too short, we still have many deficiencies. The number of people surveyed and interviewed just about 120 people so the statistics are not accurate and do not reflect the opinions of young people on this issue. Moreover, because we lack of experiences, the analysis is not clear and complete. Besides that, the advantages and disadvantages of premarital are not comprehensive. We believe that the next research will be better with all the necessary information as well as more valuable.
VI. Reference
The real truth (2009). What’s So Wrong With Sex Before Marriage?. Retrieved August 15, 2012 from realtruth.org. Website : http://realtruth.org/articles/090907-004-society.html
Lennon, K. (2011). Benefits of sex before marriage. Retrieved August 15, 2012 from Shine Yahoo. Website : http://shine.yahoo.com/benefits-sex-...182000866.html
Corinna, H. (2008, July 15). Get Real! What Are Some of the Benefits of Having Sex? Retrieved August 15, 2012 from Rh reality Check. Website: http://www.rhrealitycheck.org /blog/2...its-having-sex
Diggame ( 2011, September 29). Not having sex before Marriage is a Setup For Failure. Retrieved August 15, 2012 from Ashy to Classy. Website : http://ashy2classy.net/2011/09/ 29/no...p-for-failure/
Rlanda ( 2009, March 31 ). Pros and Cons of sex before marriage . Retrieved 2012 August 18 from hubpage website : http://rlanda.hubpages.com/hub/Pros-...fore-marriage
Macdonnal, D. (N.D). What's wrong with sex before marriage?. Retrieved 2012 August 18 from davidmacd website : http://www.davidmacd.com/catholic/chastity.htm
Roberts, L. ( 2010, Febuary 28 ). Health. Couples who dont have sex before marriage are happier study claims. Retrieved 2012 August 18 from the telegraph website : http://www. telegraph.co.uk/health/he...dy-claims.html
Góc nhìn mở về dạy con chuyện ấy ( 2012, June 14). Retrieved August 15, 2012 from edu.go.vn. Website : http://edu.go.vn/e-tap-chi/tin/8/110...n-ay'.htmlz
VII. Appendixes
1. Interview : • Personal information
1. What's your name ?
2. How old are you ?
3. What do you do ? ( student , unemployment ... )
4. Which's university ( if any )
• Main questions :
1. Do you have girlfriend ( boyfriend) ?
2. Have you ever thought about sex before marriage ?
3. Is it acceptable ? if you agree
4. Give me some reasons supporting your ideas
5. What's about bad effects or some consequences ( unwanted pregnacies , sex transmission diseases - STD , culture , moral ) ? if you don't agree
6. Do you think you can remain your relationship without sex ? Give me some reasons supporting your ideas
7. What will you do if your girlfriend ( boyfriend) ask you to do that ?
2. Questionnaire
1. How old are you ?
A. 18-22
B. 22-25
C. 25-30
2. What is your job ?
A. High school pupil
B. Student
C. Employee
D. Others (……..)
3. What is your gender
A. Male
B. Female
C. Others (……..)
4. What is your relationship status ?
A. Being with a partner (boyfriend/girlfriend)
B. Married
C. Single
5. How do you feel about having sex before marriage ?
A. It is necessary and beneficial for a relationship
B. It is alright if I am sure that’s the guy/the girl I will definitely marry with
C. It is ok with other people, but not for me
D. It is totally unacceptable
If your answer is A or B in question 5, please go to question 6,7,8
If your answer is A or B in question 5, please go to question 9,10,11
6. Give some reasons ( possible to pick more than one choice )
A. Sex have tremendous health benefits
B. It creates chances for couples to understand each other, both physically and mentally
C. Premarital sex sets a level of commitment in the relationship
D. It is the primal and natural demand of man
E. Others ( ……..)
7. If people around find out you had premarital sex, how do you feel ?
A. Absolutely not, there is no need to hide
B. Yeah, it’s not good but I’ll face it
C. Yes, I will run away from everyone to be alone
D. It’s terrible, I will suicide if that happens
8. If your partner wants to break up with you after having premarital sex , how do you think ?
A. There’s no way, he/she must have responsibility with me
B. I’ll try to use that as a reason to keep him/her beside me
C. It’s his/her own decision, I’ll let him/her go
D. I will never see his/her face again
9. Give some reasons ( possible to pick more than one choice )
A. People will lose interest in each other and become fed up with the relationship rapidly after having what they want
B. Possibilities to get sexually transmitted diseases ( AIDS, syphilis, venereal warts…)
C. Unwanted pregnancies
D. It is not right with religious/cultural traditions
E. Others (………)
10. Do you think about sex when you are/were not married ?
A. Yes, many times
B. Occasionally
C. Rarely
D. Never
11. What will you do if your partner ask you to do it ?
A. Feel offended and break up with him/her
B. Try to persuade him/her to wait
C. I will think about it again
D. Agree him/her to do it with someone else
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Hanoi - 2012
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