Adult Mind in Child Body

Peggy Nguyen
English 104
MW 12:05-1:35
Adult Mind in Child Body

Most people grew up knowing what gender they, but for me growing up I was not so lucky to know what gender I belong to. I feel a shame of my own body growing up in a Vietnamese household and to make matter worst I was not able to show my emotion to other people or to my family. This led me to the person that I am today. I was able to take control of my own life, doesn’t let negative statement affect who I am, and become the person that I am proud of today.
I found out that I was different from other child at a very young age and didn't know who to talk to. One thing I was positive about was not to ask my family for any help because I saw what happen to my uncle when he told my grandmother he was not going to college. In my family, what is a Vietnamese tradition family this means that no one is to set low standard for everything and not dishonor to the family in any way. This led me to do my own research about who I am and to deal with my own problems.
At about the age of nine, I found out that I was transgender and that I was not the only one. I start to dress different at home and to school. I would put away all my dress and girl possessions away in a box. Then, I start to play video game and act different when I at school. I would interact more with the boy than the girl at school and I started to play sport for my school. I started trying out for basketball, baseball, soccer, and track when I got to middle school and continue into my high school years. When I turn thirteen, I know that I was in control of my own life and no one could tell me to do what I know want to do. I started to make more decides about my life as I grew up.
When my family move to San Jose in 2003, I have to start a new school year without any friends and I through that it would be easy to make new friends like back in my old school. But I start to realize that no one wants to make friend with the new kids and that they don’t want be friend with someone that is different to them. In the first couple weeks, kids at the school would call name at me and didn’t ever come close to me. I start to think about how I look when I got home and would cry myself to sleep almost every day, yet no one was there to assistance me in my most depressed time. After the first month of name calling, I start to realize that I can’t let negative statement by the kids at my school affect who I am. I start to answers more question in class, sign up for sports, and would ever talk to some of the kids at school.
Because my family has to move again in 2007 I have to make new friend when I got to high school. But I know that this time everything would be different and that I could deal with what other people think of me. When I start high school in the Fall of 2007, I was anxiety about how people would look at me, but I told myself that it doesn’t matter what other think of me and the only thing that matter is what I think of myself. I start to feel proud about myself and went to my first class in high school. When I got to class, no one was looking at me and they were all joyful about starting high school like I was. At that moment, I realize that I was in control about how people look at me. During, my high school year, I got involve in sport, club, and I was proud how I turn out during my high school year.
To most people growing up it hard enough and not knowing what gender they are could be a tough way to grow up. I realize that I was different than most people, but I didn’t let that stand in my way of being the person I want to be. I learn to face my gender problem at a young age, didn’t let other people negative statement affect how I feel about myself, and was proud about how I deal with my problem growing up.