Advice: When Most Needed Is Least Heeded
ADVICE WHEN MOST NEEDED IS LEAST HEEDED
I think this proverb is absolutely right. These days I received some comments and advices about my learning condition from my parents, I felt depressed and sometimes I got angry. Even though I knew they were just telling the truth, I still felt bad.
Occasionally people really do want advice-or they seem to.
There are a number of reasons a person won’t take our advice: 1. He knows better than we do. 2. He thinks he knows better than we do. 3. He thinks he knows better than everybody. 4. He didn’t want to solve the problem in the first place.
Of course, there are times when we seek an opinion when we merely want our own judgment confirmed. A man wrote: I once asked my son for advice when I was thinking of buying a new car. Getting right to the heart of the matter, he asked:”well, do you think there is a practical need or do you just want it for the fun of it?”
“Well, I sheepishly confessed, I just want it.’’
OK he said “in that case I say go ahead & buy it. If you were going to try to justify it, I wouldn’t go along with that but as long as you know it’s frivolous, then why not?
Of course, I bought the car.
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain & touch our wounds with a warm & tender hand.-Henry Nouwen
Most of us have listened to a friend mewling over some deplorable situation they are facing. The resolution may seem obvious to us. “Well,” we offer, “why don’t you…….
Quickly we are told, “Oh,I can’t do that because……
“Then maybe you should……..
“No, no, that wouldn’t work…….
At some point we may realize that the person may need this problem. He does not want any of us (wise, sensible, workable, profound) solutions. He merely wants us to commiserate: “Oh my, that’s terrible. I don’t know how you can stand it.”
In such a case I
I think this proverb is absolutely right. These days I received some comments and advices about my learning condition from my parents, I felt depressed and sometimes I got angry. Even though I knew they were just telling the truth, I still felt bad.
Occasionally people really do want advice-or they seem to.
There are a number of reasons a person won’t take our advice: 1. He knows better than we do. 2. He thinks he knows better than we do. 3. He thinks he knows better than everybody. 4. He didn’t want to solve the problem in the first place.
Of course, there are times when we seek an opinion when we merely want our own judgment confirmed. A man wrote: I once asked my son for advice when I was thinking of buying a new car. Getting right to the heart of the matter, he asked:”well, do you think there is a practical need or do you just want it for the fun of it?”
“Well, I sheepishly confessed, I just want it.’’
OK he said “in that case I say go ahead & buy it. If you were going to try to justify it, I wouldn’t go along with that but as long as you know it’s frivolous, then why not?
Of course, I bought the car.
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain & touch our wounds with a warm & tender hand.-Henry Nouwen
Most of us have listened to a friend mewling over some deplorable situation they are facing. The resolution may seem obvious to us. “Well,” we offer, “why don’t you…….
Quickly we are told, “Oh,I can’t do that because……
“Then maybe you should……..
“No, no, that wouldn’t work…….
At some point we may realize that the person may need this problem. He does not want any of us (wise, sensible, workable, profound) solutions. He merely wants us to commiserate: “Oh my, that’s terrible. I don’t know how you can stand it.”
In such a case I