Afghan Family Phrases

1.your family goes on a picnic every sunday and hides so they don't have to share food with anyone else and you sit on carpets on the grass
2.your parents try to hook you up with your cousins (ok eww)
3.your freezer is filled with nothing but gosht and naanai khuchk
4.you drink tea 24/7
5.you kiss everyone 3 times on the cheeks for no reason
6.your parents call food basics.."basic food" and burger king..."king burger"
7.your friends call and your parents make up the stupidest excuses...you're sleeping,..washroom...shower...eating...etc...meanwhile your sitting right beside them
8.your parents want to call you they will say everyone of your 20000000877 brothers and sisters names before they get to your name.
9.your going shopping with
your parents, and you see something you want and your parents complain and say how when you go home they can make it for you.
10.you spend so much money on a nice dining room table but you never eat on it
11.if you’re and afghan girl, you wear a t-shirt under a revealing dress at weddings
12.when there’s more oil in your food than actual food
13.every elder you meet you refer to them as Kaka or Khala ( aunt or uncle) and they have the right 2 beat u up if they wanted to
14.At least once a week your mom says, "The good old days in Afghanistan."
15.Your parents were the richest most respected people "back home"
16.Your parent's always refuse to buy so called "luxury items "because of the poverty "back home"
17.Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer
18.Your parents had eight daughters in hopes of having a son
19.Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids
20.Newly arrived afghan guys always become more Americanized than those brought up in America
21.Most afghan guys have illusions of being black
22.The second you pull out of someone's driveway, your parents start crap talking about them
23.Two or more afghan men will always talk politics with each other
24.(For afghan girls) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home by 5pm
25.If you aren't married and you turn 25, your parents start wringing their hands and proclaim that it's too late
26.You have never met half of your extended family
27.Most afghan guys have illusions that an afghan girl wants to marry him as soon as he catches her so much as glance his way in an afghan party
28.To be considered good, an afghan girl sits quietly all night long, staring at her hands resting in her lap
29.An afghan girl is bad if she laughs out loud at an afghan party or walks around too much at other ppls partys
30.
A wedding was either good or bad depending on the food n who danced
31.You haven't really had dinner unless you've had rice, like every single night for your entire life.
32.You flip out when someone mistakes you for an Arab, Hispanic or Indian
33.You curse at your teachers or strangers in Farsi
34.Talk crap and gossip about your own family
35.You cuss at your kids in Afghan with phrases that affect yourself (padaurnaulat..etc.)
36.You teach your American friends bad Afghan words and get happy when they use them in normal
conversations
37.Your family watches Bollywood movies all day long
38.You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates/khurmaas, and pumpkin seeds
39.Your parents say you're becoming Americanized anytime you get into trouble
40.You can spot an Afghan a mile away and they have spotted you because they keep staring
41.After a family meal, the women fight to death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their asses and discuss politics n r waiting for their chai
42.Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to eat food even if you're in the next room
43.You have at least thirty cousins
44.You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal
45.You are standing next to the largest suitcases at the Airport
46.You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house
47.You say bye 12 x 100 times on the phone
48.When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover they know one of your uncles back home
49.Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls
50.Your mother does everything for you if you are male
51.You do all the housework and cooking if you are female
52.Your relatives alone could populate a small city
53.If you are female, u cant have a bf and have to stay a virgin, but if ur male, ur parents dun care what the hell u do
54.You still have to come back home to live with your parents after you graduate
55.You teach Westerners words like "eat shit" before you teach them "hello in Farsi"
56.You've had a chaplak or a kotband thrown at you by your mother or father
57.back in elementary school, u were uncool and gay because ur parents were too cheap to buy u nice stuff unlike the white kids
58.When you’ve been beaten at least once with a belt, magashkuch, or kafkeer
58.when u think the only solution to a problem is fighting
59.when you have a big red afghani rug at home
60.when your mom is overweight (u kno its true ahah)
61.when your every sentence starts with “bachemmm”
62.when u eat dinner at 11 o clock and think its normal
63.when u get house warming gifts you give them to some other afghan and it ends up getting passed around until it gets back to u (it has happened many times before..ahah)
64. You try and fit 5 kids in the back of a Hatchback. One on top of the other.
65.When you don’t own a dishwashing machine, because if u do then ur turning american and lazy
66.You have more pictures of mosques in your living room than family pictures.
67.Your dad has a mustache, or a big nose, or hairy knuckles.
68.you’ve never realli gone on a vacation just for fun to the caribbean, or hawaii, because its too expensive
69.Your parents bring home green unripe bananas and wait for them the ripen.
70.You carefully unwrap presents to save the wrapping paper so you can use it to re-gift later on.
71. Your parents create a garden on the balcony with huge cucumbers not even Loblaws carries.
72.You have more Indian movies than books or magazines in the house.
73. You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go
74.When you were little you always wondered why your white friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning.
75.Your parents hate the Russians, the English, and anyone else who tried to fuck with your country.
76.Your parents push the concept of arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they aren't fighting.
77.A successful marriage is one where your parents and your husband's/wife's parents like and understand each other.
78. Your parents have their own unique names for everything such as:
Don Valley Parkway = Don-e Walli Parkvay
Blockbuster Video = Black Bastard Video
McDonald’s = Macdoonaal
79.if you’re 30 and you marry an 18 year old, its considered ok
80. your shoes get stolen at the mosque every Friday.
81. You have family in California.
82. Your last name has a story behind it if it is more than 6 letters long.
83.Young Afghan girls are skinny and have no ass, but as soon as they get married they end up looking like their mothers. Short and fat.
84.Your a young, somewhat pretty looking girl so you offer to bring tea and food for your table at a wedding, just so the hot Afghan guys hanging around the bar can check you out.
85.You say, "her" instead of him when you’re talking about your boyfriend around other people.
86.You dance at a friend’s party you get yelled at and called an American wannabe, but if you don’t dance at Afghan parties you get your hair pulled because people will talk shit if you don’t dance, and ur parents will call u baigyrat
87.drinking is a no no, but blazing is ok
88. ur parents say how white people and blacks, and everyone dat gives them a bad look is racist, but then ur parents are realli the ones dat say the N word like 6 times a day