Analysis Of Autism In Love

In the film Autism in Love, produced by Matt Fuller, looks at how people on diagnosed with autism deal with intimate relationships. This film covers 4 individuals who all have been diagnosed with autism on different sides of the scale. In the opening scene of the documentary, the audience gets to know Lenny. Lenny is a younger guy who really struggles with finding a partner, because he hates the idea of being with someone who is “out of his league”, mainly in this case he is referring to not having a job and still living with his parents. The next two people, Dave and Lindsey have been together since 2005 and although they said autism have made it difficult for their relationship, it is nice having someone around. The last guy to be observed is Stephen. Stephen was married to Gita, who had passed away from cancer. Throughout the film the audience saw the relationship that those two shared, before and after Gita died. This film was made to show how individuals with autism engaged in romantic relationships.
Then main concept that stuck out to me was with Lenny.
He displayed single adulthood. He remains single throughout the whole, while telling the audience about his troubles and what makes it so difficult for him to find a partner. He explains that he does not feel comfortable dating someone who out classes him. He wants to be the person that “brings home the bacon”.
He feels way behind on his social clock. As stated by Christina Squires, the social clock is a timetable according to life accomplishments. Lenny feels that he should have already moved out of his parents’ house and that he should have a stable job, but he has not completed either of those. This causes him to stress out and become frustrated with himself. Knowing this concept now, made this aspect of Lenny’s life stick out. I can relate to Lenny with being “off time” when it comes to moving out of our parents’ house. Granted I believe we are both just doing it till we get set up to take the world on our
own. The second concept I saw throughout this documentary was the applications of Sternberg’s Triangle of Love as discussed in class by Christina Squires. Of course, being a triangle, it has three sides which consisted of: passion, intimacy, and commitment. “Passion is the physical and sexual attraction, intimacy is the emotional feelings of warmth and closeness, and commitment is the intent to maintain the relationship” (Squires, 2017). I saw this concept during the scenes with Gita and Stephen. Although they did not show much physical attraction to each other. The audience can tell there is a lot of love between the two. Especially when Gita was asked how she knows Stephen loves her. Her response was the way he looks at her is how she knows, and that he understands her like no one else (Fuller 2015). Stephen and Gita share intimacy and commitment and still have a strong love for each other even though they lack the passion. When I think of relationships with these characteristics, I usually think of my grandparents or older couples who don’t need this physical attraction to love each other. After this film, my perception has switch to anyone who has a strong enough mental connection, does not need that passion side of the triangle. They just share affectionate love according to Sternberg’s Triangle of Love. Throughout the film Autism in Love, the audience can see developmental themes such as the social clock and Sternberg’s Triangle of Love. Being able to recognize these concepts in action really strengthened my view on how I interpret other’s relationships, by showing me that not everyone is going to have the same type of relationship, but still share the same amount of love for each other. As well as understand how not achieving certain life goals can mess with individuals emotional and how often it occurs. Having someone by your side is a major life goal for most the population and Autism in Love showed how similar relationships and relationship struggles can be to that of people not diagnosed with autism.