Analysis: The Freak Show Attractions

The Freak Show Attractions You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family. We are born into families and to some degree, these people shape our personalities and views of the world. Do traditional families offer a better sense of self or worth? Do non- traditional families harbor immoral values that shape our outcome? Society has always based its value system on the traditional family. The 1950’s embodied this perception of the traditional family: two parents and a boy and a girl. Dad worked and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. This was the poster child for the traditional family with traditional values. The year is 2015. 1950 is long gone and the traditional family has been replaced with single family homes, gay parents, adopted
children and adult children who continue to live with parents long past the accepted time (Stevens). These new types of families have been criticized countless times over the past few decades for the way they have chosen to raise their children or their life choices. But have we changed our perception as to what the new normal might be? Several studies have given statistics on children who have grown up in non - traditional homes. Will they will turn out gay, drop out of school, become a teen parent, have behavioral problems? Is it these types of families that produce these types of issues in their children? Has society grown with the new ages and have become accepting of these non-traditional families or are these families still considered misfits or targets of society? There has always been a rite of passage when you turn 18 or graduate from high school that you leave the nest.
Many adult children leave their families and settle elsewhere other than their childhood bedroom or parent’s basement, but for some adults living with at home with their parents is their reality. Carol Morello, a Washington Post writer, investigated the reasons behind adults still rooming with their parents. She found that approximately 18 percent of the population that are adults still live at home (Morello). That may be surprising to some, but the truth is that the economy has been rough and expenses have been increasing. Tasha Hart, a woman who is 36 and still lives at home says, “My parents have been pillars to lean on as I’ve deal with health and finance issues” (Hart qtd. in Morello). These issues, such as health and finance have been detrimental to several adults, which cause them to stay nested in their parents house until they get back on their feet. Why are these people shunned by society for still living at home? First, many believe the order of life goes, you’re born, raised by a mom and dad, leave to go to college, get a career and start a family. Due to changes in our society life doesn’t follow this established pattern. Adult children find that they are now a target for unacceptable social norms. Hart also comments that when she told her friends that she decided to move back in with her parents that they “…looked at me like I was from a different
planet” (Hart qtd. in Morello). These adult children are considered abnormal for not persevering through the hard times independently, but rather leaning on their parents to help them out. Then this raises the question if the parents are being too overbearing and not letting their child let their wings fly? Presently, many families are trying to raise children in nurturing and loving environment, but as parents they are shunned by many. Same-sex couples are threatened all the time for raising children in a home riddled with sin. Many people criticize the parenting of a homosexual couple, because the child does not receive the traditional relationship of a father child and a mother child relationship (Hansen). Heather Barwick, an author in a post, published by The Federalist states, “But by and large, the best and most successful family structure is one in which kids are being raised by both their mother and father” (Barwick). Therefore, Barwick claims that only children raised in a home with a mother and a father is the only way a child can be successful and normal. However, many people argue that divorced kids and children with deceased parents experience the same thing. Therefore, they should be put into the same category, but since in this circumstance, the children with homosexual parents fall under two categories that are labeled as non-traditional and being raised by gay parents. Many people still have a problem with gay parents raising children and most likely will continue for a long time. Even though the legalization of gay marriage recently passed, many people have rebelled and oppose gay marriage and even more so if children are involved. This opposition is prevalent in several communities, especially in schools, “Many LGBT parents and their children report feeling neglected, excluded, and mistreated by other members of their school communities” (Adams and Persinger). These children and families are being persecuted not only by the communities they live in, but by schools the children attend as well. What are these children supposed to feel when they believe that their family is normal and then go to school to be told that they live in sin? Hearing that as a child is probably very difficult and confusing, which may turn their persona of a loving family into being embarrassed or angry that their family has to be different than everyone else’s. Similarly, many children are adopted by in same-sex couples. So why do people oppose same-sex marriage adoption? Some people like, Trayce Hansen, a psychologist, states that, “…studies find that homosexually parented children are more likely to experiment sexually, experience sexual confusion, and engage in homosexual and bisexual behavior themselves. And for those children who later engage in non-heterosexual behavior, extensive research reveals they are more likely to suffer from psychiatric disorders, abuse alcohol and drugs, attempt suicide, experience domestic violence and sexual assault, and are at increased risk for chronic diseases, AIDS, and shortened life spans” (Hansen). However, many of these studies against the adoption of same-sex couples are very small and underrepresented. (Rosenfield). On the contrary, Rosenfield, the author of an article published by Demography claims, “Children of all family types (including children of same-sex couples) are far more likely to make normal progress through school than are children living in group quarters (such as orphanages and shelters)” (Rosenfield). Therefore, there are two different reliable sources on the outcomes of children adopted into same-sex marriages. Do we let these children sit in orphanages because it is not right to some to place them in a loving homosexual home? These children are born not being wanted by their biological mother or father. These children fall into the category of being abandoned by their parents. This coincides with children developing issues of self worth, which could lead to social problems and not being able to fit into societal norms. David Brodzinsky, Marshall Schechter and Robin Marantz Henig discuss the adoption process and all different views of the adoptees, adoptive parents and birth mothers. These views help distinguish what each person feels during the adoption process and afterwards. (Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self). Many children that are put up for adoption end up in foster care and end up in and out of the system. This process can damage the self-worth when jumping from home to home (Brodzinsky, Henig, Schechter). However, there are many willing parents who want to adopt an orphan and invite them into their family. Adoption from birth can be an easier transition for children adopted into new families. But what if the child is older and now has to conform to a new home? There is an issue with the urging question of where the child comes from and the need to find the biological parents in order to get a better understanding of themselves. Many children suffer from abandonment issues and find themselves angry or suffer from depression if the biological parents don’t want to establish a relationship with the child (Brodzinsky, Henig, Schechter). Non-traditional families suffer a variety of consequences; one in particular is bullying.
As stated earlier, same-sex marriage couples are shunned by many communities, including schools. Schools are the home base for bullying because students are forced to interact with one another and naturally people will automatically stereotype by first impressions or looks. For example, if you happen to see a student wearing glasses, high waters and with a boxed lunch what would go through your mind? Many people automatically label that kid as a nerd or a geek and that student would most likely get picked on until he or she changed how they appeared to others or acted. This conformity of what society has portrayed to be cool has set up kids who like anime and calculus to be automatic targets by the rest of the school. Carrie Goldman defends this by her article, Why Telling Bullying Victims to “just Fight Back’ Doesn’t Work, by stating that, “Communities demand relative conformity, it is what makes them communal. Nonconformity, therefore, naturally results in exclusion.” She goes on by saying that if parents want to protect their children from being bullied, then they need to find a community who accepts them (Goldman). However, many families can not just move to another community if their child is being bullied for several reasons, one being unable to afford the financial burden of moving. These children who do not alter their personality and style are outcasted by their peers. Due
to social media the modern day child can be brutal with comments when it comes to bullying the geeky or freaky kid. Many children who are bullied commit suicide because they can not handle the cruel words from others, which makes them decide that dying is better than being alive and being treated like a new attraction at the freak show. (Goldman). So, what do adult children, gay parents, adoptees and geeky children all have in common? One answer could be that they are the target for all unacceptable social norms. What is acceptable, who are your parents, where are your real parents, why do you dress that way, or why do you act that way? Society has established the norms for the traditional family and even though society’s views have progressed, many people still see the non traditional families as out of the ordinary and label them as misfits. These dysfunctional families are the outliers of society and once you are an outlier it is difficult to obtain normalcy. The question arises as to what is normal and does society have the right to ostracize those who choose to live differently.