Appropriate Cultural Norms
Today when I was dining with my family in a formal restaurant, I broke two of the similar cultural norms. One being that, I drank my soup using a fork, where the norm is to drink soup with spoon. The second being that I use my knife to eat my cake, where it should’ve been eaten using a fork. It might seem that these two actions that violate the cultural norms is small, but the reaction that I got from other people is extensive. As I was committing the act, I noticed that the surrounding people were looking at me. Some of them were even laughing and talking about my action. Also, as the waitress saw me drinking my soup with a fork, she came to me and ask if I need an additional spoon. I know that these people thought I am crazy and abnormal. Even my mom got mad and told me to eat with the normal utensil. Some continue to stare at me throughout my whole dinner experience, it seems like they are getting cultural shock.
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People around me feels uncomfortable about me committing this deviance, but I feel even more uncomfortable.
Looking at their reaction, I feel as if I am doing something terrible. It feels awkward and it even surprise me that they would have such extreme reaction. I feel embarrassed being the spotlight for something that is inappropriate. However, on the other hand it’s actually an amazing experience since it help me understand that society don’t accept people that break the cultural norms. People tend to favor those that follow social norms because it makes behavior predictable. People often will respond negatively toward any form of deviance because they think that it’s opposing the right way of doing
things.
Eating a cake with a knife or drinking the soup with a fork are things that oppose our American culture. Culture is the material and nonmaterial values that we take for granted, but breaking them would arouse disputes since cultural norms penetrates deeply into one’s thinking. It establishes a fundamental bias toward deviance. Culture provides us “moral imperative” in which the culture that we internalize becomes the right way of doing things and that brings in the problem of ethnocentrism. People tend to use their own group’s way of doing things as yardstick to judge others, so when I am using unusual utensils to eat certain things they would judge me using their way of thinking. They believe that the “right” way of drinking soup is using a spoon, which cause them to judge my way of drinking the soup as improper.
Additionally, I understand that breaking these cultural norms bring into account the concept of socialization. Socialization had nurture me that spoon is for soup and fork is for cake, so when I am breaking these norms, I felt as if I am not a normal human being and that I wasn’t taught the right way. Also, as a female, it is even more embarrassing because the messages that I got from family and society told me that it’s important for lady to act proper when in public. I am expected to act lady-like and use the right utensils, but when I didn’t follow the expectation, they would think that I wasn’t educated or train to be grown woman.
The social norms that I broke is small, but is enough for me. Society often react to deviance in a pessimistic way, no matter how big or small it is. Mainstream values often produce these kind of reactions toward deviant actions.
People around me feels uncomfortable about me committing this deviance, but I feel even more uncomfortable.
Looking at their reaction, I feel as if I am doing something terrible. It feels awkward and it even surprise me that they would have such extreme reaction. I feel embarrassed being the spotlight for something that is inappropriate. However, on the other hand it’s actually an amazing experience since it help me understand that society don’t accept people that break the cultural norms. People tend to favor those that follow social norms because it makes behavior predictable. People often will respond negatively toward any form of deviance because they think that it’s opposing the right way of doing
things.
Eating a cake with a knife or drinking the soup with a fork are things that oppose our American culture. Culture is the material and nonmaterial values that we take for granted, but breaking them would arouse disputes since cultural norms penetrates deeply into one’s thinking. It establishes a fundamental bias toward deviance. Culture provides us “moral imperative” in which the culture that we internalize becomes the right way of doing things and that brings in the problem of ethnocentrism. People tend to use their own group’s way of doing things as yardstick to judge others, so when I am using unusual utensils to eat certain things they would judge me using their way of thinking. They believe that the “right” way of drinking soup is using a spoon, which cause them to judge my way of drinking the soup as improper.
Additionally, I understand that breaking these cultural norms bring into account the concept of socialization. Socialization had nurture me that spoon is for soup and fork is for cake, so when I am breaking these norms, I felt as if I am not a normal human being and that I wasn’t taught the right way. Also, as a female, it is even more embarrassing because the messages that I got from family and society told me that it’s important for lady to act proper when in public. I am expected to act lady-like and use the right utensils, but when I didn’t follow the expectation, they would think that I wasn’t educated or train to be grown woman.
The social norms that I broke is small, but is enough for me. Society often react to deviance in a pessimistic way, no matter how big or small it is. Mainstream values often produce these kind of reactions toward deviant actions.