My arch nemesis tried to defeat me, and it failed.
It lived under the guise of my parents, doctors, IV’s, and feeding tubes. As I sat with my spine pressed against the hospital bed that moved as it reinflated itself, I swallowed, feeling my stomach tug the nasogastric tube from the tear soaked tape on my cheek. Every tug from the tube caused my nemesis to grin victoriously, but this was a premature celebration, as I was busy preparing for a lifelong battle against myself--the arch nemesis in it’s truest form. Every day, the world continued on, always missing my stop at the train terminal. The idea that my nemesis held freedom just out of arm's reach began to sink in, and it hit me: …show more content…
The act of fighting myself was exhausting, but in order to prove that recovery was possible, I fought the same battles multiple times until they became trivial. In the beginning, the physical act of chewing and swallowing a bite of a “fear food”--pasta, pastries, cake, pancakes, etc--was the only battle I could fight, but through repetition, I became stronger, and as I became stronger, I fought harder, thus perpetuating the defeat of my nemesis. After having grasped at the strings that created what could be my life, I had no desire to sink back into the pit of self destruction. The willpower needed to starve myself was negligible compared to what was needed while forcing my nemesis to relinquish the throne; I had no choice but to leap blindly into the possibility of failure with the off chance that recovery would