“It was strange to feel like the Ari I used to be. Expect that wasn’t totally true. The Ari I used to be didn’t exist anymore. And the Ari I was becoming? He didn’t exist yet.” (Saenz 189) Ari is changing and this is caused after he saved Dante’s life. When he finally got his cast removed he realized that things have changed for him. He no longer was the only person he cared for. He risked his life to save Dante, Dante mattered more to him than he could understand. “‘And why would you beat the holy crap out of a guy who hurt him? All your instincts, Ari, all of them tell me something. You love that boy. I think you love him more than you can bear.” (Saenz 349). Ari finds his first love, Dante. He realizes that he does not need to be alone in the world, that he cares for someone. As the books comes to an end Ari realizes that he truly loves Dante. He realizes that all the answers he was seeking were right there. They were answered by Dante. He was freed by loving Dante, he was no longer hiding.
“This was what was wrong with me. All this time I had been trying to figure out the secrets of the universe, the secrets of my own body, of my own heart. All of the answers had always been so close and yet I had always fought them without even knowing it. From the minute I’d met Dante, I had fallen in love with him. I just didn’t let myself know it, think it, feel it. I was free. Imagine that. Aristotle Mendoza, a free man. I wasn’t afraid anymore. How could I have ever been ashamed of loving Dante Quintana?” (Saenz