Arranged Marriage: for America?

Arranged Marriage: For America?

Both arranged marriages and romantic marriages have good and bad points. Cultures such as India, Japan, and Ethiopia have had arranged marriages since the dawn of time. In America we allow our young adults to make their own decisions on whom to marry. Would Americans accept the practice of parents deciding whom they are going to marry without considering their wants or feelings? The answer is an emphatic NO! Americans are hopelessly romantic and fiercely believe in freedom of choice. Arranged marriages would never be accepted in American culture.
Most of the time, if not all, the decisions we make concerning marriage are based on the concept of "romantic love". Most young people tend to believe the only way to choose a mate is to date until you fall madly in love, plan a wedding, and get married. We follow our hearts even if it is impractical and doesn't really make any sense. We do not feel that we need the wisdom and experience of anyone, let alone our parents, to make such an important decision. Love is more important and powerful than practical issues. However, by relying on our hearts, and not the wisdom and experience of others, we risk what could be the disastrous consequences of making an emotional decision instead of a rational one.
Go back a few years (for some of us, many years) and think about how much stress we felt trying to make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex. We spent most of our days worrying about our looks and what we could do to change them to get "the look". Were our clothes chic enough to be cool? Dating was awkward and time consuming. Think of all the time wasted concerning ourselves with the rules and necessities required to maintain a relationship - the effort involved in looking for the "right" someone to spend the rest of our lives with. Think of all the time that was wasted if they were the wrong person - the anguish endured while married to the wrong person. All that time, effort, and emotional stress could certainly have been put to better use by studying and preparing for the responsibilities of life. Our mating rituals seem flawed and risky compared to those cultures that practice arranged marriages.
For most young Americans, relationships are a part of everyday life. However, for the majority of Indians, they are only an afterthought. More attention is given to studies than the opposite sex. The practice of arranging marriages has both practical and cultural rationales. Marriages are meant to carry on a family's status and secure the family's financial future. Many Indians are not concerned that love is absent at the onset of marriage. They feel it will happen along the way. Love is not a major factor. Stability is the concern. Education and careers come first so there is not a lot of time for the opposite sex. Trust is put in the wisdom of parents who rely on their life experiences to ensure that a partner is socially and economically suitable for the family.
American marriages are based on the dream of meeting someone and falling head over heels in love. Americans rely on emotional senses and physical attraction to ensure that they have found "the one". We crave the excitement of this ritual. We let our hearts and other body parts over-ride our common sense. Many times our education suffers, or is completely set aside, to facilitate a relationship. We overlook flaws and things that we don't like. More often than not, these flaws surface down the road and the relationship suffers or fails completely. We often dislike any interference or "help" from our parents in choosing our mate. Why don't we rely on their experience to make our decision? Why should we? The divorce rate in our country is approximately fifty percent. Obviously, most of our parents did not have the ability to choose the right mate. Why should we trust their judgment? We shouldn't.
I believe we do have some "arranged" marriages in this country. Let me explain. Don't some of us put a lot of emphasis on what our parents will think of our mates? The answer is yes. This happens because we are still little boys and girls whose yearnings to please our parents cloud our judgment and result in a marriage with a partner they think their parents would be happy with instead of themselves. These marriages usually do not last.
Those who believe in arranged marriages feel love will come with time. Most Americans marry for love. Americans are taught at an early age that individualism is needed to succeed. We take pride in making our own choices. We would never let others, not even our parents, take away one of the most important decisions of our lives. We would never accept a practice we feel is absurd and antiquated, regardless of the benefits.