Preview

Article 20 Arranging a Marriage

Better Essays
Open Document
Open Document
4337 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
Article 20 Arranging a Marriage
Article 20

Arranging a Marriage in India
Serena Nanda
John Jay College of Criminal Justice Sister and doctor brother-in-law invite correspondence from North Indian professionals only, for a beautiful, talented, sophisticated, intelligent sister, 5’3", slim, M.A. in textile design, father a senior civil officer. Would prefer immigrant doctors, between 26–29 years. Reply with full details and returnable photo. A well-settled uncle invites matrimonial correspondence from slim, fair, educated South Indian girl, for his nephew, 25 years, smart, M.B.A., green card holder, 5’6". Full particulars with returnable photo appreciated. Matrimonial Advertisements, India Abroad IN INDIA, ALMOST ALL MARRIAGES ARE arranged. Even among the educated middle classes in modern, urban India, marriage is as much a concern of the families as it is of the individuals. So customary is the practice of arranged marriage that there is a special name for a marriage which is not arranged: It is called a “love match.” On my first field trip to India, I met many young men and women whose parents were in the process of “getting them married.” In many cases, the bride and groom would not meet each other before the marriage. At most they might meet for a brief conversation, and this meeting would take place only after their parents had decided that the match was suitable. Parents do not compel their children to marry a person who either marriage partner finds objectionable. But only after one match is refused will another be sought. As a young American woman in India for the first time, I found this custom of arranged marriage oppressive. How could any intelligent young person agree to such a marriage without great reluctance? It was contrary to everything I believed about the importance of romantic love as the only basis of a happy marriage. It also clashed with my strongly held notions that the choice of such an intimate and permanent relationship could be made only by the individuals involved.

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Good Essays

    Myers et al., (2005) studied individuals in India living in arranged marriages and found no differences in marital satisfaction in comparison to individuals in non-arranged marriages in the US. This is also supported by Gupta and Singh (1982) who studied 100 degree-educated couples living in India, 50 of who had chosen their partners and 50 of who had their marriages arranged for them. The couples were asked to indicate how much they liked/loved their partners and it was found that love and liking was high in love marriages but decreased whereas love increased in arranged marriages and after 10 years exceeded love marriages. However, this study is difficult to generalise as it studies only a small sample and so cannot be generalised to the wider population. It therefore lacks validity.…

    • 786 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Just as poetry is a permanent mark of feelings that last forever on paper, tattoos are permanent symbols that last forever on the skin. Tattoos and poetry can easily be combined such as in Kim Addonizio’s sonnet, “First Poem for You,” the speaker admires her partner’s nature themed tattoos in a darkened room. This may seem to be a simple poem, but by utilizing tattoos as symbols, including tactile and visual imagery in her poem, and using the sonnet as her structure, Addonizio laments about the true meaning of relationships and their longevity.…

    • 614 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    I have trouble trying to organize all the information I have printed. I was confused, and did not have a clue how to format my presentation. I have decided to keep it simple and input only what I understand so far. This task has been an eye opener as I have never evaluated myself in this manner before, it is fascinating the entire thing I 'm learning about myself.…

    • 4864 Words
    • 20 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    In the essay “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love,” Stephanie Coontz examines the history of marriage around the world and details its transformation from a necessity for the survival of society to becoming a tool for personal fulfillment and happiness.…

    • 476 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    The author, Serena Nanda, provides evidence for her argument by first introducing a broader claim, and the recounting her experience with the topic. As Nanda speaks to her initial failures in trying to find a bride, the reader learns how important marriage matches are in India. Through Nanda’s experience, the reader also learns about different components that play a major role in Indian arranged marriages, like family relations, siblings, and moderate education level. By introducing the reader to these different obstacles in finding a bride, Nanda allows the reader to understand the importance of Indian marriage matches, as well as the differences between finding a spouse in the United States and India.…

    • 465 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    To set them apart in another way, the Indians “openly engaged in premarital sexual relations and could even choose to divorce their husbands” (10). “Under English law, a married man controlled the family’s property” (10). In Indian gender relation, the women take charge; on the other hand, the English men make the…

    • 1370 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    The pages of The Namesake drift across decades effortlessly, and suck the reader into the daily lives of two generations: the immigrants: Ashoke and Ashima, and their children: Gogol and Sonia. Naturally, it is also a chronicle of all their romantic relationships. As we witness their lives unfold before our eyes, we see love go right, and quite often, wrong. This allows for an analysis of the finer details of their personalities, their backgrounds, and how they affect their endeavors in the new world, which is, America.…

    • 1584 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Better Essays

    It is natural for everyone to need or have or want a companion to shares their lives with. It is thought normal of young adults to want a spouse and a family of their own. In relationships it is that passion “falling in love” is the dominant aspect of young adults (Berger, 2010, p.412) Intimacy is when two people know each other well enough to share secrets, as well as engage in sexual activity. Commitment is more time consuming and requires work, dedication, shares possessions, in some cases child-rearing responsibilities, and the capacity to forgive. In some international familes arranged marriages commitment is first before intimacy and passion. Domestic violence sometimes occurs but male figures of the bride usually oversees common ground is the husband is too demanding. Arranged marriages hardly ever do divorce, there’s tremendous effort in keeping the family together as well as social and family support is offered.…

    • 1303 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    However, it is connected to my sister's life because her marriage was fixed as arranged marriage. Even though it was arranged my parents give her one whole year to think about it and talk to the guy and get to know him and then make the decision. Now she is jubilant about the decision my parents made for her by choosing the guy and letting her know about him before marriage. The primary focus of this paper is to explain different concepts of forced and arranged marriage. Most of the people assume forced and arranged marriage is the same thing. However, in reality, forced marriage is a nightmare for a girl even how hard they try to get out of it is impossible to escape from it. In an arranged marriage, at least, the girl or boy gets the choice to speak out. Arranged marriages are marriages that are arranged by families, specifically parents or other elder members of the family; it is a cultural and traditional norm. Many people assume arranged marriages and forced marriages are similar in fact they are not. It is imperative to clear that forced marriage and arranged marriage are completely two different practices. In South Asia, forced marriages are…

    • 932 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In most of the Indian communities, the gender connections were also not similar to the Europeans. The family decided how the women’s lives would be by creating a premarital sexual relation with their husbands. Divorce was also acceptable. Nevertheless, the children…

    • 670 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    We had it planned; college, careers, lifestyles, and yes, love. Love, the one dream we did not share. I remember the conversation as we strolled along our normal path. I detailed my plans for my future love. My “knight in shining armor” story and explained how he would arrive, and we would have a magical connection. He would love me completely and together we would ride off into the…

    • 797 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Marriage Act 1961

    • 992 Words
    • 4 Pages

    According to the Marriage Act 1961, marriage in Australia is defined as, “the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.” It is said that a “good law” is that which consists of five key features; one being that the law reflects the changing values of society (Sykes, 2002). The aspect of marriage being allowed only between a man and a woman has been widely contested among people as society has evolved and this provokes debate.…

    • 992 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    Human Sexuality Study Guide

    • 9753 Words
    • 40 Pages

    Love and Relationships have changed so much since the Time of our Independence (1750). Marriage was a concept that was arranged between the fathers of the potential bride and groom, and the only way you would be considered a good couple is if you increase the wealth of both families. Traditionally, the brides family would give money or land to the grooms family in exchange for “allowing” the woman to marry their son.…

    • 9753 Words
    • 40 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    Marriage in America Today

    • 903 Words
    • 4 Pages

    Paper includes a strong topic sentence that clearly expresses an opinion of the topic. 5 pts.…

    • 903 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Course Notes

    • 875 Words
    • 2 Pages

    After reading the article Arranging a Marriage in India my first thoughts were why would any man or woman want to marry someone they are unfamiliar with, no nothing about them. I had the same mind as Serena Nanda who is the woman who got to experience it all while her trip to India. Of course my opinions had changed after reading the article, although I never had a problem with arranged marriages because I had been aware that some cultures do that as a lifestyle, but the idea of it kind of sounding like the parents are selling the daughter. As Serena mentions that how in the U.S we find the one we love and then marry after a few years of dating if it’s the right one of course, but now divorce rate is very high and it’s usually because it’s cheating or you just get tired of being with the same person. But how a women in India see it, they marry the guy that the parents have arranged them with and they seem to have a very flow and happy marriage, but how can that be? Is what I ask myself? They are people who have never talked or seen before yet they enjoy each other, although I like the idea on how when they marry they get to know each other and they aren’t tired of each other because it’s just the beginning of their marriage, it’s kind of like dating in U.S only they’re married. They interview with Sita, Sita mentions on how her parents have experience and they know what’s best for her when picking the right guy for her to get married with. While they are picking boys for her Sita doesn’t experience dating her parents do all the work for and all she does is goes to school and enjoys her youth she has more time to spend on her life instead of worrying about the man she might marry or boys. Sita’s reasoning was very understandable and I feel like I connect to that idea and that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have an arranged marriage, but I know that it really isn’t for me. Education in man is very important when the parents of a soon to be bride is looking…

    • 875 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays

Related Topics