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Yoav knew very well that Asael is impulsive, and he should have expected him to act in the way in which he acted. Yoav, being the oldest, has a responsibility to look out for his brother and keep him under control. Since Yoav is also the general of the army, he has the responsibility to make sure each soldier, including Asael, is in his position.
Lastly, Hashem can be blamed for the death of Asael. Hashem controls everything and could have easily prevented this outcome. Hashem does everything for a reason and obviously wanted Asael to die. This is similar to Purim, Hashem’s name is not mentioned once in the entire Megillah while Hashem was behind everything. Although Hashem’s name is again not mentioned in these events, He influence the outcome. Therefore, this event could not have been avoided because Hashem wanted this to happen.
The impacts of Asael’s death led to a more personal civil war. Many people are accountable for his death, but they still could not have prevented the outcome. Thankfully, soon after Asael’s death there was a ceasefire. Both sides expected and hoped for Yehduah and Yisrael to unite again as one. Despite many differences in the practice of Judaism, we still need to strive today to unite as