Your body is away from me
But there is a window open
From my heart to yours
From this window, like the moon
I keep sending news secretly – Rumi
The loss of a loved one is one of the most painful inevitabilities of life. The physical absence of the deceased signifies an abrupt change in reality that one needs to come to terms with (Root & Exline, 2014); however, what becomes of the relationship with the person no longer with us? Need it be severed in order for the ones left behind to move on, or perhaps reappraised and adapted, so that there is still place for it in within the new, post loss, reality? Acknowledging and adjusting to the loss can be a long, complex process for individuals, and while it is essentially a personal matter, it is also heavily affected by their environment; their families, communities, societies and cultures they belong in, as well as their internalised belief systems (Silverman & Nickman, 1996b, p.349).
Continuing Bonds in Bereavement
A …show more content…
This definition encompasses a wide variety of expressions and behaviours, such as reminiscing about the deceased, holding on to their possessions, sensing their presence, communicating with them, or using the deceased as a role model to guide behaviour (Marwit & Klass, 1996; Tyson-Rawson, 1996). Diverse mourning rituals and the creation of memorials to honour the deceased are also considered among the manifestations of continuing bonds. Focus has shifted, in the bereavement literature, from theories that assume severing the attachment bond to the deceased is the ultimate goal of overcoming loss (Freud, 1917; Raphael, 1983), to ones that suggest a continuation of the bond might lead to more successful coping (Klass et