Authoritative Parenting Style Analysis

here are three main styles of parenting authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. Diana Baumrind discovered these styles of parenting while conducting studies on the different facets of parenting, expressions of warmth, strategies for discipline, communication and expectations for maturity (Berger, 2014). Children reflect these three styles in their different emotional, psychological, and behavioral outcomes. Parenting should reflect a thorough understanding of the principles set forth in the Bible as well as understanding how current psychological research illuminates the parenting task.
Understanding the benefits of each style according to the research available is a necessary. Authoritarian parenting styles are often strict with
parents having a low tolerance for misconduct. Violations of their law are often punished using corporal punishment to correct the violation. Matters are often black and white and there is no room to for questioning of their law. As the saying goes, “it is my way or the highway”. Authoritarian parents value obedience over interaction. Their expectations are high and sometimes may be unattainable for the current age of the child. These parents are usually cold and unaffectionate in their interactions with their children. (Argyriou, Bakoyannis, & Tantaros, 2016) (Berger, 2014).
Permissive parents are much the opposite of authoritarian parents. While authoritarian parents are strict and unrelenting, permissive parents are indulgent with few expectations and little discipline. In this relationship, the child indicates what they want and the parent obeys their expectations. In this style of parenting the parents are weak leaders and “there is no compulsion or direction…to their children” (Masud, Thurasamy, & Ahmad, 2015, p. 2412).
Authoritative parents are confrontive.
They are both demanding and responsive. “They exert control by setting rules, but, especially with older children they encourage open discussion [communicate well and are attentive] and allow exceptions [flexible]” (Myers & Dewall, 2015, p. 202). Authoritative parents are warm and affectionate in their relationship with their children. Their discipline is multifaceted, adapting their discipline to fit each situation and each child. The Bible has parenting styles also and as Christians we should examine it as our authoritative source. Although what psychology has to offer should not be dismissed or neglected but integrated with a proper biblical
perspective.
When understanding parenting from a biblical perspective it is wise to understand how God the Father parents us. How does he do it, what boundaries does he set, is he affectionate, responsive, attentive to our needs, does he expect obedience etc. In addition, we should understand specifically how the Bible specifically says we should parent. Authoritative parents have expectations and boundaries for their children these is certainly similar to how the bible says we should raise children we need to have expectations and boundaries of attitude and action.
There are many verses and narratives in the Bible that demonstrate who God is; God is merciful (Deuteronomy 4:31, Psalm 51:1-2); He is attentive to our needs and cares for us (Mathew 6:25-34, 7:12). God needs our obedience and sets boundaries for us (1 Samuel 15:22-23,), disciplines us (Hebrews 125-11, Psalm 119:75) and understands who we are and having perfect expectations of us (Psalm 103:7-17, Micah 6:8). The bible has much to say how should act as parents and adult. James 1:17, 2:12 says our first task is to listen and be patient, being doers of what we profess to believe (my paraphrase). We are also to be merciful in our actions with those who have broken the rules. We need to be careful not to provoke our children or exasperate them, but to love them unconditionally when we are teaching and disciplining them especially if there is some conflict. (Colossians 3:21, Ephesians 6:4). Of the styles of parenting presented it seems as if an authoritative style has the most support biblically and would be integrative with a biblical point of view.
Authoritative style has the most support biblically in a number of ways. First, it is affectionate and responsive just as God is affectionate. He hears us no matter what we are saying. He understands us and seeks to help us. He does not always do what we want but he always has our best in mind. When discipline is necessary it needs to measured and applicable to the infraction, tailored to children and their personality, as God disciplines us in accordance to our individuality. As made clear in the Bible we need to practice what we preach. It is clear from studies, such as Bandura’s bobo doll experiments that children are observational learners and if we as parents are not integrating our actions with our words there is a discontinuity there that renders our parenting ineffective. Along with biblical support authoritative parenting has support from studies to support its effectiveness as a style.
Research show that children who are raised with authoritative parents tend to excel over children raised with permissive and authoritarian style. Children raised with warmth, good communication, and well defined boundaries, tend to have fewer behavior problems and “that lack of affection, coldness and hostility in the relationship with parents were the variables that differentiated children with and without behavior problems” (Fuentes, Salas, Bernedo, & García-Martín, 2015, p. 705). Communicative and more authoritative parenting with foster children tends produce foster kids who thrive, with fewer behavioral problems. Permissive and authoritarian styles tend to produce a greater number of behavioral problems in these kids. In general with foster children a “more sensitive, empathic, understanding, communicative and unconditional” parenting style show less problems and make better progress (Fuentes, Salas, Bernedo, & García-Martín, 2015). In academics children raised with a authoritative parenting style tend to excel also. They tend to have greater positive engagement with school and are more competent. In general children with parents with authoritative parenting styles tend to have higher educational achievement (Masud, Thurasamy, & Ahmad, 2015).
Parenting is daunting.
We are all human and as humans, we will inevitably parenting decision that we will later regret. We will also make decisions that we will come to be proud of and that will influence our children and their children for generations. There are many styles of parenting and we must choose among them. The one we chose should reflect a biblical perspective of parenting and be reflective of how God our Father parents and relates to us. With the knowledge, grace, mercy and understanding that the one and only God has adopted us sinners through the death of His only son to be his eternal heirs. Romans 8:15-17 (NIV) says, “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his
glory.”