Basic Counselling Skills

Attending
Attending to me means to be there for the client. It is important to be fully present and to be able to give your full attention to the client. To be prepare by revising notes and having the room set up. The therapist should take some time before to relax. The therapist needs to be able to put aside their own concerns and give the client their full attention.
Establishing a relationship
This is the first aim of the therapist. For a therapist the session starts as soon as the door opens. It’s important to dress respectfully and to make a connection with the client, so the client feels relaxed and is able to communicate what their problems are.
Active Listening
The therapist not only listens to the words of the client but also needs to hear what is being said. It’s important to maintain good eye contact to let the client know you are listening and that you are there for them. If the client is silent, to remain silent and allow time for the client to process what has been said. The therapist also needs to listen to themselves and be aware of their own issues so they can be fully tuned into the client. Things to avoid would be rehearsing responses or attaching client issues to other material. The therapist should listen as though they are not responsible to gain a deeper understanding of the clients concerns.
Primary Empathy
As Rogers would say, to walk in the client’s shoes and to understand the client’s subjective world from the client’s frame of reference. The ability to allow yourself to listen as though you are not responsible and to be curious and open minded. Holding empathy for the client has no value so the therapist needs to communicate it back to the client to help them hear themselves, to gain a deeper understanding and help them to act on that understanding.
Reflecting
Reflecting is not only about mirroring back what the client is saying but also its important for the therapist to check that there understanding of what the client’s