Basma And Me Essay

I was winding up the cord of the vacuum cleaner, when I heard my mom say to my sister, “Basma, why can’t you be more like Baraka, and help her clean?” My sister let out an exasperated sigh and replied, “Mom, quit comparing her with me cause we’re nothing alike, so just stop!” I knew where this argument was going, like it has before. My sister is clever and stubborn, while I am more laid back and responsible because I am the eldest. Therefore, I agree with my sister that we are not the same person. I don’t like my mom praising me in this manner is because it creates a rift between Basma and me, and it increases the resentment my sister holds against my mom. Basma is in her young teens, so she is testing my parents limits to get a feel as to what her stance is in this family is. She is transforming from a cheerful child to a snarky teenager, as a result of my mother’s conforming nature. Contrary to the typical praised child, I am not
a prideful person because I don’t want to be egotistical. The common thought I have is how can become someone who does not hold expectations, and is not prejudice towards others. I always hated these arguments, and I would try to end them without trying to anger either one of them. I looked up in the general direction where the voices were coming from and said, “Ammi, don’t compare Basma and me. You know how she gets, and Basma, quit it with your attitude. Also help us clean up, you live in this house too you know.” Basma stormed up to me, and yelled, “Don’t tell me what to do and you’re not my parent, so stop acting like it!” She stormed away and slammed our bedroom door, I ignored her words as I always do and return to the task at hand. When I was done I stood up and turned to my mom, replying softly in Urdu, “Ammi, how many times have I asked you not to compare us, you know her nature.” Shaking my head slowly. It always surprises me how everyone thinks that just because we are related means that we have the same personality, work ethic, etc.
There should be an understanding that just because you are raised in the same household doesn’t instantaneously mean that your siblings are your clones. I agree that we were raised with the same ideals and expectations, but our life experiences, birth order, and friends give us our identity. This tale may seem like a common family issue, but it is only typical because we don’t recognize that comparing siblings to one another is a problem, therefore, this problem keeps repeating time and time again. This parenting technique doesn’t achieve the parent’s goal of trying to convince their kids in obtaining good qualities because a parent can’t conform a child or teen to become a specific person. Due to the fact that the parent is making the kid feel that they have less value than their siblings. This issue may seem small, but then again it is all about your perspective on the
matter.
This lesson about respecting each other’s character has helped me understand the importance of maintaining a good relationship, regardless if they are a part of my family or not, starts with how I view them as a person. This understanding is what the world lacks, in personal relationships, in corporations, in governments, etc. Which only results in conflicts and bloodshed. I will not make the same mistake because in order to change this perspective in my family, and being able to extend that into my community; I need to be able to practice upon it, so as not to seem like a hypocrite.