Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self Analysis

Coming of Age
In Danielle Evans book, Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self , three African-american girls find their true identity within their faults and experiences struggling with modern day issues such as sexism, racism, and differences of age amongst the characters. It is expected as young girls to follow society’s rules that is in the environment to which they live and belong to. Each girl attempts to be and do things that are not of their own natural state of character. All not entirely understanding themselves that they are questioning their own identities.
In the short story “Virgins”, the narrator is a young african american female who is fifteen years of age by the name of Erica. She lives in an impoverished neighborhood along
with her best friend Jasmine, who is also a young fifteen year old african american girl. Although the story is title, “Virgins”, the only actual virgin in the story is Erica, whose attitude suggests that she does not trust men, ”when you were alone, men were always wanting something from you”(Evans 4) and "we'd had enough nice guys suddenly look at us the wrong way" (Evans 4,5). The community in which Eria and Jasmine live in is a sexually active one, and it is expected of young girls to have lost their “innocence” so young. But Erica, in her matter of fact tone, knows this and strives not to fall into society’s trap. She tries to find her identity through the sexual agency of the community. The idea that she can control what happens to her through the story and her sexual experiences helps her grow from a naive child to a more mature young lady, "I wasn't scared or anything, just cold and surprised" (Evan 5), or when she states, ".. I kept waiting for the thing that would stop us, and then I thought, Nothing will stop this but me" (Evans 22). Erica decides to lose her virginity to her friends older brother, only to realize in the end it really was not worth it. Physical control over the African-american female body is a powerful tool and common theme used in Danielle Evans stories.
Control.
It is something every person desires to have. However, we can not control what others do around us, only what we can do. The story “Snakes”, involves a young nine year old molata girl, we later find out is narrated by her older self, by the name of Tara. Her parents are on vacation and her mother drops her off to live with her grandmother Lydia for the summer. What initially started out as an inability to tame Tara’s hair later becomes a control issue that is also hinted at as a racial issue as well. The idea of Lydia controlling not only Tara’s aesthetics but also her movements leads to Tara’s ultimate choice, “Once we spent an entire morning locked in the bathroom. I'd been ordered not to come out until I had done something with my hair” (Evans 39). The control Tara’s white grandmother has over her is logical considering her Grandmother was in fact that, an older lady who did not appreciate her own daughter’s decision and rebellious behavior by marrying an african american man and having a mixed child. Lydia’s actions of controlling Tara could also be said that she wishes to control her daughter. Tara freezes when Lydia begins to cut her hair away, she freezes knowing that she had no control in the relationship and no authority of herself, her only solution was to be physically lead away by her cousin Allison. Later, when we realize that Tara is older and wiser now and is narrating, she herself realizes that her grandmother used and abused her to try and makeup
for not raising her own daughter the way she wished. But her grandmother's, racist views and harsh ways of controlling her led Tara then makes lethal decision to jump from a tree and permanently scar herself, which could have lead to her death. A decision that ultimately changed her own identity.
In the story “Harvest”, Angel, a young college student wants to make money by selling her eggs. She sees her fellow white college students do it, so why could she not do it herself? However, her eggs were not accepted because she was not of the right skin color. So when she discovers that she is pregnant, this brings her down even more. She already had financial issues with college, and now to bring and raise a baby in the world would cost her so much more and then some change. The decision to keep the baby or abort the baby is the main subject, but it is through her actions the physical control that she finds her true identity of acceptance, “Love it, i thought. Let it be mine” (Evans 84).