Birth Control Thesis

Thesis Title
a. “In my opinion, birth control is the most urgent need in today’s world.”
Weakness: In this thesis, the expression “in my opinion” is being used and creates doubt. The thesis should always be a true statement followed by reasoning.
Correction: The world’s population is in desperate need of birth control because of it would help decrease miscarriages, reduce teen pregnancy, and promote sexual education.
b. “Just how far should the law go in its tolerance of pornography?”
Weakness: This thesis is forming a question, and it should always be answering the question followed by reasoning.
Correction: The law should show zero tolerance on pornography because it promotes child pornography, crime and, gives women a bad image.

c. “How
Christian missionaries were sent to the Ivory Coast of Africa to introduce West civilization. “
Weakness: This thesis is incomplete and needs reasoning why Christian missionaries were sent to introduce the West.
Correction: Christian missionaries were sent to the Ivory Coast of Africa to introduce West civilization to general improve standards, trade, and agriculture.
d. “The history of psychology had its inception with Plato and come to full term with Freud.”
Weakness: This thesis shares two different ideas, and unless one is a master pro they could send the reader mix signals. One should stick to one side and support it with reasoning.
Correction: Freud’s ground breaking research opened the history of psychology by installing a structural from of the mind, which include instincts, morality, and reality.

e. “Strip mining is an environmentally destructive solution to the problem of fuel shortage, and the fuel shortage is caused by our government’s foreign policy.”
Weakness: This thesis also shares two different ideas, and the goal is to get straight to the point about one so the audience realize what will be argued or supported.
Correction: Strip mining is an environmentally destructive solution, so the world should find better ones such as wind power, biofuel, or tidal power.

f. “In the United States, the press is the watchdog of society. “
Weakness: Again, this thesis is to short and does not have proper support behind it. It’s imperative to share with the audience where he or she stands on an
issue.
Correction: In the U.S., the press inherits the name watchdog in our society because they expose issues such as political issues, crime, and environmental issues.

g.
“Three factors may be singled out as militating against the optimum adjustment that partners in the marriage relationship should experience as money, culture, and education.”
Weakness: This thesis has support behind it; however, the reasoning is not clear. Also, the word “may” in the thesis show the audience that the writer isn’t too sure about the issue as well. This could hurt not only his or her guidance, but it will throw off the audience as well.
Correction: Three factors will always have a serious effect on family or marriage are money, culture, and education.

h. “Homemaking is the most meaningful work a woman can perform.”
Weakness: Although this thesis has a general idea about woman being homemakers, it does not have support say why it does.
Correction: Although most woman have jobs to support their families, the most meaningful work a woman can do is be a homemaker to constructively support their children, have time to cook healthier meals, and maintain homes properly.

i. “The problem with sound polluting is: How much longer can our ears bear the noise?”
Weakness: The weakest point about his thesis is that it asks a question, and it share two different ideas. The audience will not understand which way the writer is
going.
Correction: Sound pollution is becoming an ongoing issue in our society because it causes many general health issues such as anxiety, stress, and fatigue.

j. “The noteworthy relaxation of language taboos both in conversation and in print today.”
Weakness: This thesis does not complete a complete idea, or have support. In a thesis short and to the point is good but it must be broad enough to show support of an idea.
Correction:

k. “My feeling is that educationalists are just as infatuated with jargon as are sociologist.”
Weakness: Using first person in a thesis only shows what one person has experienced. This thesis also has no support behind it.
Correction: Educationalists along with sociologist are infatuated with jargon because in promotes academic standards, assessment, and creative thinking.

l. “Retirement homes need not be depressing places which commercial activities can bring residents together in shared experiences.”
Weakness: This thesis expresses two different subjects, which one is negative and the other is positive. The idea is to pick a point and prove to the audience why your thesis is true.
Correction: Commercial activities can bring communities together to help positive reinforcement for children, neighborhood security, and rebuilding.

m. “The city of New York is in bad shape.”
Weakness” Although this does have a specific idea it does not share any supportive ideas. Therefore, the thesis is weak and does not have anything to build from. This will have the writer in all different types of directions when writing.
Correction: The city of New York is in horrendous shape because it in desperate need repairing buildings, basketball team is horrible, and train system is in horrible condition.