Brief Summary Of The Story 'Nevin'

Very nice story Walter.
A. I understand that your story is primarily about Nevin who was a foster child and experienced growing up in many homes, some of which were worse than others. He is now18 and a talented and dedicated athlete that uses his past to help fuel his success in a race he’s trained very hard for. In the process of the story Nevin wins the race and finds his individuality beyond the label of a foster child.

B. I love the title and the story concept is strong.

I enjoy how the transformation that Nevin goes through and how the last sentence of the story brings his transformation together.

You do a great job describing the action of the race and I was intrigued and up to speed with you the entire time.

C. There are a couple of areas where I would take time and consider the tastiest words. For example, "nothing will be wasted in motivation and into him controlling how it impacts these next minutes."
Nevin has been through a lot and he's going to use everything he's been through to help fuel him to win the race. Play with your words, move them around, change them, read them aloud, give it a break, and read it again. This is a beautiful point of transmutation in your story.

The same thing occurs here, "All week, he has been the first to wake up in his family, the first to practice of his team, and the last to leave practice to go home."

You're describing Nevin's dedication which is a beautiful character trait that I, as a reader, can't get enough of, but I'd play with the words and sentence structure to drive the point home as potently and eloquently as