I'm sorry I left.
I... regressed. Knees folded up and back pressed into a four walled corner as my screen flashed: call returned to sender. I lost the battle to my doubts and let my brain leak out. Like deflated air in a defeated balloon it was screaming and I couldn't let you hear so I shut the door, knowing damn well you didn't have a key but can you call me?
Because when you're not here to hold my hand and anchor me to the ground I feel like I could just fall right into the sky, dive headfirst and separate clouds and stars like water bubbles as I get. lost.
And I am lost. I am lost even when there's nowhere to go because down became up and if up is down then my feet will never touch the ground again. I don't want to be gone.
I want …show more content…
I'm terrified.
That if I opened my mouth to yell out and shout the syllable of your name the void would get inside and gut me clean. I'm hollow but put me up against your ear and shake and hear the rattle. There are beads in this body that I'd string round your neck. If you're willing to get it out, then break me in two. But then I'm not sure if I want your fist to connect with my face because I'd kill before I get blood on your skin. You're warm enough.
But I want you to touch me. Because your hand is a twilight is a gravity that yanks me back, crash me like a meteorite into mouthfuls of dirt and I swear I'll gasp for breath. And the thing above can be black or blue or green. The ball can be spinning or twisting into two around a splitting, screaming sun and I will be still. Because your arms are my Mesosphere and Lithosphere and Stratosphere, you are the blanket, always warmer with shut eyes. I'd leap off a cliff if you're waiting at the bottom. So call