Canadians are vampires
Stereotype essay
Canadians are vampires. Canadians are vampires because they drink the blood of trees, own ferocious monsters as pets, and have sparkly skin like the vampires in twilight.
A classic Canadian staple food on everyone's table in the morning is maple syrup. Maple syrup is technically trees blood, and Canadians survive on trees blood, instead of drinking animal or human blood like many classic tales tell. Vampires do not have to survive on mammal blood, but many movies portray vampires this way to make them more gruesome and appealing to audiences in some weird fashion. Canadians do not eat maple syrup everyday, but so long as Canadians get a good dose of it once per year, or a few times throughout the year, they can function well in society. This is why during the maple season in the spring, Canadian vampires create many maple products to replenish themselves.
Many foreigners believe that Canadians own polar bears as pets, this is true where polar bears live. Elsewhere in Canada, black bears and grizzly bears are kept as pets. Bears are considered dangerous animals, and sometimes monsters, due to their size and the story's of them attacking people. Canadians have been able to tame bears because being vampires, they are monsters themselves.
As it is depicted in the story twilight, vampires have sparkly skin. Canadians are the same. To hide this fact, some Canadians live in eternal winter blaming the sparkling on the snow. Elsewhere in Canada, Canadians have to wear a specialized "sunscreen" which is basically just a cream that covers the sparkling of there skin in the summer. It should be noted that the sun does not burn, melt, or affect the skin of vampires anymore than it does regular humans. All the sun does is show the true skin of a vampire by making it sparkle.
Not all Canadians are vampires, but a vast majority of Canadians who have family ties in Canada for three to four generations are usually vampires. If you happen to have a
Canadians are vampires. Canadians are vampires because they drink the blood of trees, own ferocious monsters as pets, and have sparkly skin like the vampires in twilight.
A classic Canadian staple food on everyone's table in the morning is maple syrup. Maple syrup is technically trees blood, and Canadians survive on trees blood, instead of drinking animal or human blood like many classic tales tell. Vampires do not have to survive on mammal blood, but many movies portray vampires this way to make them more gruesome and appealing to audiences in some weird fashion. Canadians do not eat maple syrup everyday, but so long as Canadians get a good dose of it once per year, or a few times throughout the year, they can function well in society. This is why during the maple season in the spring, Canadian vampires create many maple products to replenish themselves.
Many foreigners believe that Canadians own polar bears as pets, this is true where polar bears live. Elsewhere in Canada, black bears and grizzly bears are kept as pets. Bears are considered dangerous animals, and sometimes monsters, due to their size and the story's of them attacking people. Canadians have been able to tame bears because being vampires, they are monsters themselves.
As it is depicted in the story twilight, vampires have sparkly skin. Canadians are the same. To hide this fact, some Canadians live in eternal winter blaming the sparkling on the snow. Elsewhere in Canada, Canadians have to wear a specialized "sunscreen" which is basically just a cream that covers the sparkling of there skin in the summer. It should be noted that the sun does not burn, melt, or affect the skin of vampires anymore than it does regular humans. All the sun does is show the true skin of a vampire by making it sparkle.
Not all Canadians are vampires, but a vast majority of Canadians who have family ties in Canada for three to four generations are usually vampires. If you happen to have a