Canterbury Tale

Dhruv Bhatt – Canterbury Fails
The story revolves around a very generic kind of man
Who lived in a cottage with his wife in Kazakhstan.
Used to be happily married, loved his wife dearly
His love was very palpable, seen clearly.
But as years passed his feelings towards her began to wither
Because the arguments they had were getting bigger and bigger
They would scream and shout and yell the night away
To the point where they’d wake up their neighbors, all of whom were gay.
As their emotional feelings grew more and more distant
Their overall sex life became all but non-existent.
While laboring in the fields one day
He thought of a brilliant idea, with whores he’d lay.
While adultery was bad, and this he knew
To his morals he thusly bid adieu.
He began to visit a brothel
Hookers a plenty, all of them docile
He’d indulge in his carnal desires
While the wife had no clue he was a liar.
He returned late one night to home
So his wife got a case of the I-think-my-spouse-is-a-cheater syndrome.
She asked where he’d been, she absolutely inquired
“I don’t need this” and to bed he retired.
Her suspicions were then indubitably confirmed
When she revealed something from his laundry and learned
In his pocket was a note that said “intercourse with you was lovely”
Signed at the bottom with hearts and lipstick, was Beverly.
She finally knew of her husband’s infidelity
Which stemmed from their lack of chemistry.
To receive information and some advice
She went to her transvestite brother Bryce.
“Don’t get mad, get even” he said
“This may not be the time, but I told you not to wed.”
“What do you propose I do?”
“I actually have the perfect solution for you,
I have acquired a concoction
At the recent marketplace auction.
Slip this in his food, and into a frog he will turn.”
“If I go through with this, will in hell I burn?”
“My dear sister that I do not know.”
“All right then, whatever, YOLO.”
She barely arrived home, before the crack of dawn
Just as her husband awoke with a yawn.
She prepped a hearty breakfast, the most important meal of the day
Which consisted of milk and honey, and a warm soufflé
With the honey she mixed her secret elixir
Woe is she, what a tricky trickster.
Just like a kitty, he tongued it deftly
All the way down to the bottom, until ‘twas empty.
Immediately his eyes began to swell
His mouth opened, but came out no yell
Instead he croaked, his transformation was smooth
He now had nary a hair on his body, not even a tooth
He remained an amphibian, for the rest of his days
Regretting his decisions that he made in his naïve haze
His wife was very happy, tit for tat.
Adultery is bad so there’s that.