There are several problems that the main character Sammy has which are lack of self-concept, lack of self-esteem and lack of communication with parents and the failure of controlling her emotion.
Firstly, Sammy is lack of self-concept which is the totality of thoughts and feelings with reference to oneself as an object.(Rosenberg,1979) According to the scenario, it showed that Sammy do not have definite view towards her future because she do not know the inner thoughts of herself. She mentioned that “I don’t know what I like and dislike. The question ‘’who am I?’’ still confuses me”. Therefore, when Sammy’s parents wanted her to further study and thus she went to college without giving it much thought. Due to lack of self-concept, Sammy’s choice of continuing the study is only cater her parents’ desire but not her real desire.
Secondly, Sammy is lack of self-esteem. Self-esteem is a generalized evaluative attitude towards the self that influence both moods and behavior. (Richard J. Gerrig, 2005) According to the five building blocks of self-esteem (security, selfhood affiliation, mission and competence) by Michele Borba (cited in Michele Borba, 2001), Sammy particularly lack of the component of competence which means she does not think that she is able to have achievement. According to the scenario, this idea is even stronger through the sibling and peer comparison as Sammy thought that she is not as competent as her and classmates and elder sister. Hence, low self-esteem is resulted.
Thirdly, there is lack of communication between Sammy and her parents and thus good family relationship is failed to achieve. Since Sammy’s parents go home late because of work and Sammy is usually in bed when they come home, they don’t have enough time to communicate with each other. Not only Sammy cannot feel the love and concern from the parents, but also the parents cannot understand Sammy’s daily lives. According to the scenario, Sammy’s parents often complain and nag Sammy because they usually find her lying on the soda with television on or surfing the Internet aimlessly when they come home. However, they may not consider that Sammy may have undergone a busy day and she wants to take a rest. Due to lack of communication between Sammy and her parents, quarrels are emerged easily and peaceful conversation cannot be achieved. Then, Sammy may choose to be silence instead of quarrels finally and the family relationship will be worsen finally.
Fourthly, Sammy is lack of ability to deal with her emotion. According to the scenario, when Sammy is complained and napped by their parents, she once has lost her temper and banged the door harshly after their criticism. It showed that Sammy becomes irrational when facing unpleasant matters. And such uncontrolled emotional responses will have negative impacts on Sammy’ mental health and her interpersonal relationship.
In order to solve the problems, some solutions are suggested as followings:
Firstly, to enhance the self-concept and self-esteem of Sammy, she should have self-observation and social interaction which are two of the sources of self-esteem. (Baron, 1990) Through self-observation and social interaction such as participating in different activities, Sammy not only can explore potential and achieve achievement, but can also find out her limitations. It is important for Sammy to know that ‘No one is perfect.’ So that what she needs to do is that demonstrate her strength and accepting her disadvantages. Therefore, when she gets to know more herself, a positive self-concept is built up and she can have a clearly planning for future and make her own choices instead of catering for her parent’s desire. Moreover, she will be more confident and not just blindly compare with her siblings and peer and set up achievable goal for herself. So, Sammy’s self-esteem will also relatively enhanced
Besides, to enhance self-esteem, self-fulfilling prophecy can be used which means thought or expectation that helps bring about a predicted event or behavior which then strengthened the original thought. (Hanna, Suggett, Radtke, 2007) If Sammy changes her thoughts to be positive such as ‘I think I can do it well’, she will get higher possibility to achieve her goal and thus self-esteem can be enhanced.
Secondly, to improve the family relationship between Sammy and her parents, there are several ways. As one the responsibility of parents is to show active concerns, interest and involvement in the child’s life, and stated that parents who more involved in their adolescents’ were schooling had offspring who performed better in school. (Bogenschneider, 1997), Sammy’s parents should pay more time to chat with Sammy and show concern of her daily lives so that the misunderstanding can be reduced and Sammy can feel the love and care from parents. Besides, as there is only little of time for Sammy and her parents to getting along with each other, they should treasure such ‘quality time’
Moreover, the communication skills of both of Sammy and her parents should be improved. According to guidelines of becoming an effective communicator (Mckay, Davis, & Fanning, 1983), directness is one of the important elements to contribute an effective communication. For Sammy, when she is nagged by her parents, she should not be silence to avoid argument. Instead, she should express her thoughts directly and not to assume that parents know how she are feeling or thinking. Therefore, parents will be easier understanding her feelings and may stop the complaint and nagging. In order to improve the family relationship, both Sammy and her parents need to pay effort in achieving better communication.
Finally, in order to control the unpleasant emotions, control theory (William Glasser, 1984) can be applied which stated that if you want to feel different, first change your behaviors such do whatever is pleasurable. For Sammy, when she found herself in anger, she should calm down first and shift her attention to other things such as listening music, chatting with friends, etc. therefore, her emotions can be relatively well control and the quarrels with parents will be reduced.
References:
Baron, R. A. (1990). Understanding human relations: A practical guide to people at work. Boston: Allyn& Bacon.
Bogenschneider, K. (1997). Parental involvement in adolescent schooling: A proximal process with transcontextual validity. Journal of Marriage and Family, 59, 718-733.
Glasser, W. (1984). Control theory: A new explanation of how we control our lives. New York: Harper & Row.
Hanna, S. L., Suggett, R., & Radtke, D. (2007). Person to Person: Positive relationships don’t just happen (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
McKay, M., & Fanning, P. (1983). Messages: The communication book. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.
Michele Borba, Ed.D (2001). Retrieved from http://www.micheleborba.com/Pages/5buildingBlochs.htm Richard J. Gerrig (2005). Psychology and Life. United States: Pearson Education.
Rosenberg, M. (1979). Conceiving the self. NY: Beaufort
References: Baron, R. A. (1990). Understanding human relations: A practical guide to people at work. Boston: Allyn& Bacon. Bogenschneider, K. (1997). Parental involvement in adolescent schooling: A proximal process with transcontextual validity. Journal of Marriage and Family, 59, 718-733. Glasser, W. (1984). Control theory: A new explanation of how we control our lives. New York: Harper & Row. Hanna, S. L., Suggett, R., & Radtke, D. (2007). Person to Person: Positive relationships don’t just happen (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall. McKay, M., & Fanning, P. (1983). Messages: The communication book. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger. Michele Borba, Ed.D (2001). Retrieved from http://www.micheleborba.com/Pages/5buildingBlochs.htm Richard J. Gerrig (2005). Psychology and Life. United States: Pearson Education. Rosenberg, M. (1979). Conceiving the self. NY: Beaufort
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