This is the final or fifth of five journal responses to a Coaching Skills Workshop held on Sept. 14 to Sept. 16 |
I find that a lot of the questions asked in this final tidbit “aftermath” are questions I never really get to talk to people about. In the conflict between Dave and Tiff I would try and ask how things were going, but beyond a simple “fine” they never really talked about it. I know now that I should have been asking them questions like “How is it going?” Or “What are your next steps?” Instead I let it go and hoped that they would be able to see the advice given as a possible way out. Unfortunately that wasn't what they needed, and I see that now. I should have known that they needed more help, and that Tiff would be far more impacted from the breakup than I thought. She’s engaged to a man who treats her like trash, works her to the bone (Did I mention it’s her supervisor at the security agency that she works at?) and Moo’s. Yes Moo’s, just like a cow and for no reason at all. I’ve told Tiff that this is her choice to make, and if she needs me I’m more than happy to assist in anything she might need… She asked me to be a bridesmaid.
Some of the clues that a conflict is brewing is when communication is starting to break down. Once people stop working together, and are at odds with their intentions, conflict will arise. Most people, from my experience – will do one of three things. They will avoid the conflict, meet the conflict head on, or freeze and not react at all, unable to deal with the conflict. There are other degrees of response, but those three are the most common one’s I’ve dealt with. Most often I find that a change in attitude is a key factor in knowing when conflict may be rearing its ugly head. People who, before the conflict, were able to talk and communicate easily – have allowed said communication