Compare and Contrast between Arranged Marriage and Love Marriage

Comparison and Contrast between Arranged Marriage and Love Marriage
It is believed that marriages are made in heaven. It might be true while in reality the couples who are married are either in love with one another or the marriages are finalized or arranged by their family members. Debate about whether love marriage or arranged marriage is better is never ending as both sides have their experience and testimony to support the system which suits them. The purpose of this passage is to compare the arranged marriage with love marriage from the aspect of mutual understanding and love; and contrast the two types of marriages from the aspects of differences in expectations and mutual attitudes after the wedding, different reactions from the family.

We should be aware that modern arranged marriage isn’t equal to forced marriage. Today parents are more realistic and becoming broad minded enough to accept the choice of their kids in marriage. Arranged marriages are also successful when the parents don't force their children to marry whom they don't want to and when the parents support and help their children to find their respective spouses as per their desires and likings. It is definitely wonderful when children are given the right to take a decision themselves on their marriage and also there should be proper arrangements for the first time—this is also called a period of courtship when both of them decide to date and decide to get married. Therefore, love can also be generated between the arranged ones during this period. Since it is true love, it has nothing to do with time. Whether it is a love or arranged wedding, it should be based on love, empathy, responsibility, concern, and commitment. The similarity also exists in the life after the wedding. It calls for a lot of dedication and efforts to carry on the relation. And to support and live happily with each other, both of them need patience, perseverance, and mutual affection and care.

Despite the similarities, there are also some obvious differences.

The first difference appears in the different expectations and mutual attitudes after the wedding. In the case of arranged marriages, the first few years are spent to know and understand much more deeply about each other’s likes and dislikes. The thrill and excitement of knowing each other, always keeps the couple motivated and positive towards each other. Whereas in the case of love marriages, the bride and the groom have already gotten along with each other for a long time and there are no more space left for the interest or curiosity of knowing more about each other. In the case of arranged marriages, even a small deed of care and forgiveness, leads to the strengthening of the marriage as a bond and the feeling of adjustment and compromise is more compared to the love marriages. While in love ones, the bride and the groom are always in a situation to compromise and the feelings may be no longer fresh and there are a lot of expectations from the life partner, which when left unfulfilled, will lead to quarrels and misunderstandings. For instance, sometimes discords may arise between couples having love marriages. It has come to the fore that after spending a long time together, many couples in love marriages are found to be repenting on their decisions. They find it hard to keep up the nuptial life and at last break the bond to get free. That is why it is reported that the divorce rate for arranged marriages in the traditional countries is much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love rule.

Moreover, arranged marriages enjoy a clear edge over the love ones also because most parents think that only they are competent in finding the most suitable match for their beloved sons or daughters. Marriage is not just two people coming together but two families uniting to bring two souls together in holy matrimony. In arranged marriages the family or the matchmaker first scrutinizes the possible brides, their family and background and leaves the final decision with the groom or vice versa. The whole family support the matrimony during high and low times. They see to it that the couple is happy with one another at all times. Minor misunderstandings are cleared by advice from seniors who act as relationship managers and marriage councilors. With such an expert team around the couple thrive joyously. Contrarily in arranged marriages, there is a lot of pressure on the couples to meet parental expectations. Apart from the fact that couples in love have to face the challenges of the community and pacify their family members to accept the partner chosen by them, they have to make great efforts if they found their characteristics and family values didn’t fit into the new family. There can also be disputes emerging frequently in love marriages such as producing offspring, taking participation in family rituals, developing great rapport with sisters-in-laws, contributing to family expenses, and so on.

As for myself, I’m kind of neutral. Being a girl with unpredictable future, I don’t think I have to depend on my family to find my life-long partner for me. But I do think an arranged marriage isn’t a bad choice when I’m at the marriage age without finding my Mr. Right. At that time an arranged marriage is undoubtedly a choice to widen my social circle as well as introduce me more people and to make both my parents and I happy.

In conclusion, arranged marriage and love marriage are different when it comes to the mutual expectations and attitudes as well as family reactions. However, they also share similarities in the vital existence of love and understanding. We should remember that love is a vital element in a marriage, no matter what type or form we follow. It should happen and then bliss will subsequently follow.