Creative Writing: The Rebirth

The Rebirth
My body laid stiff as board. I didn’t feel pain just my back pressed against the hard concrete cement. I yelled and screamed for him, but I couldn’t move. Then I pass out. I woke up to unbearable pain as the freezing cold air from the ambulance pieced my open wounds. The screams of horror and torture fill the cavity of the ambulance as I begged for anything to make the pain stop. I pass out again. Suddenly, I woke up with a thin unmistakable white hospital sheet laid over my body up to my neck. The pain seems to be absent at the moment. There was an unpleasant present on my right hand which accounted for my comfort. In the middle of all the commotion I was able to stop a male nurse and ask him about the condition of my boyfriend.
He didn’t even need to prepare himself to deliver the message. All in the same breath he said “Your boyfriend is dead and your one month pregnant.” I’m not sure if it was a reaction to the medication or a reaction to the message, but my mouth began to water and simultaneously my bodily fluids made their way up to my esophagus and spattered all over the floor.
Two surgeries later I sat upright surrounded by familiar faces.
There was the look of concern that smeared all of their faces. Nurses rotated in and out of the room as if their feet were connected to a rotating timing belt. Dr. Fitzpatrick discussed my treatment plan with me and mother. I nodded my head in compliance to try to appear well as I could have given the circumstances. This has to the worst nightmare ever I thought. The pain medication and the two surgeries made my body exhausted. When I woke up the room has transformed into a garden filled with beautiful arrangements, balloons, and cards with words of encouragement and hope. As beautiful as this scene is I have just woken up to the reality of my
nightmare.
Do you believe in God? I haven’t asked or had a conversation with Him in months. I figured everything was okay. I didn’t need anything. Life had been great, like it always had been. I needed Him now! I needed to know why? What kind of God would take this youthful, sweet, funny, ambition, life and leave his girlfriend the burden on raising a child whose father is dead? I had never questioned my faith so much until then. One thing that drove me crazy was my questions and prayers were not answered right away either. Family and friends would offer their words of encouragement. Some even said I was lucky that I was not the one that died and that I should be thankful that nothing happen to me and baby. Though their words utter some truth I felt guilty for contemplating moving forward without him.
The night of the accident I didn’t want to go for a ride on his bike.
It was probably the first time I can recall saying no to him. We were a spontaneous couple that was always up for a a good time. I worked all day, then went off to school, and my last stop was to see him. His eyes twinkled with excitement when I arrived. He bounced around me requesting my presents as his passage. As the sun was going down as we rode into the sunset. We arrived at the river walk downtown and took a romantic scroll discussing our plans for the future, which was not our normal dialog. We had enjoyed our time with each other that evening. I was so glad he made me join him. As we approached the bike I felt sometime telling me to stay. I expressed my concern to him. I’ll never forget his response. He questioned me “What, you don’t trust me?” Which in hindsight was such an eerie question for him to ask at that time. Of course, gave in because not to would suggest the exact opposite, which couldn’t be further from the
truth.

My heart remained tarnish and blackened for months. I had excepted her arrival on Valentine’s Day but, she had her own plans. The nurses strapped monitors all over my stomach, heart and my hands. My nurses were stunned at my tranquil demeanor. They said my contractions according to the monitors were intense. There was a peacefulness that had come upon me. I felt no pain, no discomfort, no anxiety. My mother and his mother joined me in my delivery room to welcome her arrival. Between the two of them I couldn’t tell you which one was more nervous. Somehow one of the straps around my bulging stomach was able to inform the nurses that the baby’s heart rate was dropping. Dr. Chun approached me with the most delicate matters. He informed that the labor was stressing the baby out. He was confident that he would be able to deliver the baby, but there may be some complication. I opted for a cesarean section I did not come this far to take the risk of losing her because of concern of what I may look like in a bikini some months from now. I could hear her before I saw her. Laying on the operation table a blue drape was all that kept me from my first glace of her. The nurse made her way around the drape with the small baby in hand. Her cry raddled her entire little body. I kissed her tiny forehead as my lips touch her skin I could feel the warmth of her body, I could see her chest move up and down with every breath she took. She was finally here and she was alive.
“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”- Psalm 30:5. I read this verse shortly after the accident and it has stayed with me thought out the years. There is a part of me that died with Johnny that day. There is also an abundant amount of growth that took place because of the unfortunate events that happen. I am forever changed and molded into someone else. We don’t have all the answers as to why these misfortunes happen to us. If we had the answer to everything we would go mad. There’s only two ways to handle rough circumstances. You either take control of the situation or you let the situation take control of you. I am one that choses to thrive in life. In order to do that you have to be able to take the good with the bad. My life hasn’t all become what I thought it would be. It has definitely been an adventure with twist and turns. I know that whatever life throws my way I have a wonderful family, great friends, and the God’s grace to get me though.