Creative Writing: Why Am I Dying
Why am I dying to live, if I’m just living to die?
Why am I dying to live, if I’m just living to die?
Such a deep dark place she has landed in life. Sitting at her dining room window with a glazed but yet eager look upon her face to share her journey. Wearing all black as if she was in mourning over a loved one she had just lost. Courtney begins to explain how she was once a happy woman. “I once held my head up high, with a smile on my face” Courtney stated. Later she became a woman that would do anything, and endure just about everything for the one man she loved. Courtney goes on to talk about Eugene, as she states “He was and still is the most handsome man I’ve ever laid my eyes on”.
It was 1982, Courtney’s 10th-grade year in high school. …show more content…
Courtney vividly describes how they the ambulance he called to the scene arrived and found him slumped over his steering wheel of his mustang on the side of the road not responsive. The following year Courtney admitted she turned to drinking and smoking every day to dull her pain. Even with the countless attempts of her four children, Courtney says nothing could bring her out of her cloud of depression. According to Courtney, she can recall stating to her daughter you ruined my life, and that it was her fault she was unhappy. Lashing out to be disrespectful to any and everyone who came in contact with her. Still unable to be happy six years later, not knowing her worth nor how to make herself happy Courtney admits to becoming the typical “Mad Black Woman”. Courtney knows she could have done and had so much more out of life if she would’ve gotten out of her toxic relationship when she had a chance. “I could have been so much more in life if I would’ve never given thirty plus years of my life to a man that didn’t deserve what I had to offer“. Still, till this day Courtney will admit she still fights with depression. Around the holidays is when she finds it the most unbearable. Unable to find happiness in her own life, she has turned to drinking more than usual now and smoking cigarettes as if they were going out of
Why am I dying to live, if I’m just living to die?
Such a deep dark place she has landed in life. Sitting at her dining room window with a glazed but yet eager look upon her face to share her journey. Wearing all black as if she was in mourning over a loved one she had just lost. Courtney begins to explain how she was once a happy woman. “I once held my head up high, with a smile on my face” Courtney stated. Later she became a woman that would do anything, and endure just about everything for the one man she loved. Courtney goes on to talk about Eugene, as she states “He was and still is the most handsome man I’ve ever laid my eyes on”.
It was 1982, Courtney’s 10th-grade year in high school. …show more content…
Courtney vividly describes how they the ambulance he called to the scene arrived and found him slumped over his steering wheel of his mustang on the side of the road not responsive. The following year Courtney admitted she turned to drinking and smoking every day to dull her pain. Even with the countless attempts of her four children, Courtney says nothing could bring her out of her cloud of depression. According to Courtney, she can recall stating to her daughter you ruined my life, and that it was her fault she was unhappy. Lashing out to be disrespectful to any and everyone who came in contact with her. Still unable to be happy six years later, not knowing her worth nor how to make herself happy Courtney admits to becoming the typical “Mad Black Woman”. Courtney knows she could have done and had so much more out of life if she would’ve gotten out of her toxic relationship when she had a chance. “I could have been so much more in life if I would’ve never given thirty plus years of my life to a man that didn’t deserve what I had to offer“. Still, till this day Courtney will admit she still fights with depression. Around the holidays is when she finds it the most unbearable. Unable to find happiness in her own life, she has turned to drinking more than usual now and smoking cigarettes as if they were going out of