by Lori Deschene
“When you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Well into my 20s, all of my friendships with women looked a lot like junior high.
One day, we’d be codependent and attached-at-the-hip, sending incessant play-by-play emails throughout the workday like one too many notes in class.
The next day, we’d be dragging each other by the hair into a heap of combined emotional issues, complete with nasty suspicions, unfounded accusations, and a dramatic reconciliation that would inevitably be short-lived.
Shortly after one toxic friendship eroded, I found a new one, like a mythological creature that regenerates its head immediately after its cut off. Things weren’t much different with the men I dated.
For a long time, I lamented all the damaging relationships I’d been in, as if I was some kind of victim who always got the short end of the stick. Then one day I realized there was a reason I always found myself in dramatic relationships: I was attracted to drama like a moth to a flame.
Chaos was the status quo for the majority of my life, and when it wasn’t there, I panicked. I didn’t feel comfortable unless I was fighting someone, or at the very least, fighting myself.
The things I said and did contradicted because it was easier to blame the world and stay the same than it would be to really see myself and make a change.
You might not be a recovering drama queen like me, but you’ve probably encountered your share of relationship histrionics. Maybe your close friend has as many catastrophes as there are days of the week. Maybe you’re the person everyone calls with their problems.
Or maybe you unknowingly turn small issues into major crises and you’d like to stop feeling so overwhelmed.
Whatever the case, you probably have at least a little drama in your life that you’d like to minimize.
With this in mind, I recently asked on the Tiny Buddha