Cult Of Domesticity

During the late 19th and early 20th century, strict and confining gender roles existed for women throughout the United States. While men were able to pursue out-of-house careers, women were trapped in a Cult of Domesticity, disabling them from acting in a “manly” manner in fear of losing their reputation. In this Cult of Domesticity, women were born and bred simply to marry a man with a higher social status and monetary value, and procreate with them to form a family. However, because the women of this era were raised as if they have few rights and only live for money, the inflated, bratty and materialistic lives of these 20th century women irritate me. In Edith Wharton’s novel, The House of Mirth, she explores the struggles of a woman, Lily
Bart, living inside of the Cult of Domesticity. However, in Wharton’s novel, the character, Lily Bart intrigues me, as I cannot decide if I am more repelled by her, or more sympathetic to her.
While I understand that Lily Bart’s lavish, yet unnecessary lifestyle stems largely from her conservative upbringing, there are a few aspects of Lily’s behavior in the House of Mirth that truly repels me.
Lily seems to be an unscrupulous social climber, who thinks happiness comes from superficial things, achieved at any personal price. The young lady is constantly found at large parties where it is only appropriate to wear new, expensive, custom dresses and jewels, and to participate in gambling games like bridge. While Lily does not technically have the money to spend for these social gatherings, she participates anyway to create an illusion that she is wealthy, in an attempt to climb the social hierarchy of the American North. However, the emphasis that Lily places on the social part of her life removes her focus from living practically. For example, when Lily is talking to Mr. Seldon about his cousin’s (Gerty Farish’s) apartment, she speaks lowly of Farish’s lifestyle as a working woman in an apartment. However, when Lily realizes what she said might have seemed “disagreeable” she says to Selden, “She likes being good, and I like being happy” (Wharton, 7). In this quote, Lily is equating living with a perception of having money with happiness, while generally criticizing Farish’s functional lifestyle, as Farish works outside of the home and has her own, unkempt apartment. Thus, Lily is repelling to me because she is unable to see the true importance of life, and is so
wrapped up in materialism that she does not take time to nurture the important, non-price value aspects of her life.
However, despite being repulsed by Lily’s superficial lense on life, I am sympathetic for the young, helpless girl.
First, Lily is orphaned halfway through her teenage years when both of her parents die after losing their money. The death of Lily’s parents has forced Lily to constantly rely on others for support, rather than carving an independent path of her own. When her parents were alive, Lily’s mom taught her that her purpose in life was to live rich and marry a wealthy husband. While I may not agree with this statement, or the actions taken by Lily to reach this goal, in part, it was Lily’s upbringing that shaped her as a character. Thus because Lily was raised by her mother in a time of prosperity, she was trained with neither skills, nor an interest in developing a means to become self-sufficient. When Wharton writes, “It sometimes struck [Lily] that she and her maid were in the same position, except that the latter received her wages more regularly,” Wharton is exposing how Lily and the maid are in the same position of poverty. However, while the maid is living “like a pig” and earning money, Lily is living large, and falling quickly into bankruptcy (Wharton, 28). Without a sufficient upbringing from her parents and guardians, Lily is a slave to her environment, as she is trapped by the expectations and opportunities for women in the early 20th
century.
The character Lily Bart in Edith Wharton’s The House of Mirth deeply intrigues me because she both repels me, as well as makes me feel sympathy for her. While I am disgusted by her costly and unwise manner of living, I understand that the life of a social-climber is the only life available to her. With a lack of skills and education, Lily is constrained to merely find a wealthy husband to marry, rather than to create individual opportunities for herself. While it seems unlikely, as the novel progresses, I hope to see Lily experience a change in heart and explore the world as a woman free from the captivity of the 20th century/ Cult of Domesticity norms.