David's Well-Adjusted In Terms Of His Sexual Identity

1. Yes, I think David is well-adjusted in terms of his sexual identity and his relationships with others. I think that dealing with alienation throughout life has helped him come to terms with his sexuality. He has learned to deal with ignorance around his sexuality, due to people not understanding asexuality. Even his own parents were averse to the idea of him being asexual because they did not think that people could be happy without sexuality in their lives. He used his adverse experiences to become an advocate, which takes a lot of dedication and confidence, especially because he still has people doubting his sexuality at every turn. For example, the majority of reporters made ignorant comments, such as “if you don’t have sex what is there
The AVEN member that interested me the most was Kathy. The interaction from her that struck me was when she introduced herself before the Pride Parade she said that she was 48 and everybody there was a lot younger than her. She also talked about her history of coming out as a lesbian and how that relationship did not work out because she was not interested in sex. She also states that coming out as asexual was more difficult than coming out as a lesbian. I found her intriguing because she has probably dealt with more abundant stigma than the rest of the group. They are all so young and probably grew up in a more accepting society, albeit not completely accepting of asexuality quite yet. Kathy would have had to deal with the stigma that came with coming out as a lesbian in the ‘80s. I think that her difficulty coming out as asexual says a lot about how society perceives asexual people. It has become more acceptable to be LGBT in the United States, but there is not much discussion around asexuality. I think it will become more normalized as people gain more information and understanding. I also think that the interactions at the Pride Parade, where they state that they were not really included in the LGBTQIA acronym before, shows that asexual erasure is still a large problem in the queer
David ultimately decided that he would be willing to engage in a sexual relationship because he thinks that it is the only way for a relationship to be considered serious. He also thinks that he cannot reach the level of relationship intimacy that he would like with somebody without sex being a factor. He states that the community relationship that he had faded because they lacked that closeness and dependability that having one significant other has. I do not think it would be possible to engage in a committed, long term relationship that does not involve sex if both people are not asexual. If one is sexual and one is asexual and will not engage in sex I think that the sexual person will be unfulfilled in the relationship. If both people are asexual and uninterested in sex, then I think the relationship could work. I feel like with a sexual/asexual relationship one person will end up getting the short end of the stick in the compromise. Either the asexual person is uncomfortable with the sexual touch if they allow it or the sexual person will not get the sexual touch they desire. Many of the asexual people in this documentary stated that when they had physical contact or sex they “just wanted to get it over with” or that it involved a lot of begging on their partner’s behalf. I think this is a formula for an unhealthy relationship and has coercive undertones. I think that somebody who loves you and wants to be in a relationship with you should not pressure you into sex