Death And The Funeral Process

Cultures from around the world share many similarities and differences. One thing that many people do not think about, when thinking about other cultures and religions, is the death and grieving process. When doing research on two different cultures, such as Buddhism and Christianity, one can find at least one part of the funeral process strange. An example of some of the difference and similarities that the two cultures share are that Buddhist wear white and black to a funeral and believe in “nether world”; whereas, Christians wear all black and believe in heaven or hell; a Buddhist does not pray for anyone younger than themselves, because that is considered disrespectful; whereas, Christians will pray for anyone; and finally, Buddhist have
more time to grieve than Christians.
China is one of the many countries that practice Buddhism. Guest at a Buddhist funeral will wear white or black linen with straw bands tied around their waists (Shuang, 1993). Just a few hours before the funeral the same people that are grieving over the loss of a loved one, is full of happiness just a few hours later. When someone is on their deathbed, a family member will go tell the town the person is sick so that they can come and say their final goodbyes. The Chinese know that birth and death are predestined, and after death one’s soul will go to another world- “the nether world” (Shuang, 1993). The elders prepare their own ceremony and a coffin for their own funeral beforehand. Their caskets are made out of fine wood. Christians do things a little different. Many people in the United States practice Christianity. At Christian funerals the guest wear all black. One should avoid wearing any bright colors when attending any funeral. Christians believe that when someone dies, that God will judge that person. The righteous go to heaven and the sinners go to Hell. When someone is on their deathbed, the minister can come in a pray with them and help prepare them for death. Christians lean on the Bible for comfort and lessons in life and in death. All Christians believe in life after death, and they direct their lives to achieve eternal life in heaven.
One thing that someone might not understand about Buddhist funerals is that the elders cannot pray or show any respect for the deceased, if the person is younger.
So if the person who has died is a teen the boy, who is not married, and has no kids then his body cannot be brought home, instead his body has to be left in the funeral parlor (Chinese customs, superstitions and traditions, 2004). The teen’s parents cannot offer prayers for their son and the funeral must take place unannounced (Chinese customs, superstitions and traditions, 2004). This is unlike a Christina funeral when anyone dies, especially a child, people will gather and pray for peace for the child and the family.
A Buddhist funeral could last from one week to a year or even two, the funeral last until the family is done grieving. They space the funeral and grieving process out so that everyone has the proper amount of time to grieve. Unlike a Buddhist funeral, Christian funerals only last 1-2 day, which is hardly enough time to grieve. Depending on how close one is to the deceased and their family, one may or may not be expected to attend every part of the Buddhist or Christian funeral, but if one cannot attend the funeral one could always send the family
something.
When attending someone’s funeral, that is part of a different culture or religion, one will need to know what to do and what not to do, so that one does not seem disrespectful.
If one is close to a family, that practices Buddhism or Christianity, the best thing to do is to bring a wreath or give the family money in an envelope (Barrow, 2011). If the grieving family is from the south one also might want to send them a home cooked dish. One tradition that Buddhist families participate in is the person being buried will wear a hand loomed shirt, the shirt brings good luck to the dead. Any colors can be chosen except black. The long sleeve shirt must cover all the fingers of the dead (Shuang, 1993). If the sleeves are too short, there will be bad luck in their
afterlife.
For those who are not familiar with the Christian funeral and grief process, here is an insight of what one should expect: the service will open up with prayer or a statement made by a religious leader such as a priest or the minister, a pastor or a preacher (Christian Funerals, 2009). At a Christian funeral, some families decide to do an open casket where one can view their loved ones. The funeral guests are encouraged to join in with prayers, singing, and may provide readings throughout the service (Christian Funerals, 2009). After the service is over, sometimes the family decides to do a graveside viewing. Which is where everyone will say his or her last goodbyes. One big tradition is when one is standing by the grave they toss a handful of dirt onto the casket to symbolize their final goodbye (Christian Funerals, 2009). In Christianity, the family can bury the deceased in whatever attire they want to, unlike a Buddhist funeral.
In conclusion, when attending any funeral one might find learning about the deceased person culture and religion is very important. One does not want to seem rude or disrespectful. Where one might think that a simple gesture is nice and respectful in their culture and religion, another culture may or may not find it disrespectful. Being familiar with other cultures can really pay off at the end, and besides who does not enjoy learning about new things. When doing research on these two cultures, it may truly open ones eyes to the importance of another culture.