What is it that makes a woman a woman, or what makes a man a man? Deborah Tannen, author and Ph.D. of linguistics, investigates this question within the essay, “There Is No Unmarked Woman.” An excerpt from a larger publication, “Talking from 9 to 5,” written in 1994, “There Is No Unmarked Woman” is an effective examination of the social injustice as to why the state of womanhood is “marked” while the state of manhood is “unmarked”, and what this means for each sex. The book itself is a result of real-life research about the conversational styles in a workplace setting and how conversation impacts productivity and success. Although Tannen uses many effective strategies within the excerpted essay, she most pointedly uses devices such as narration, vivid description, definition, compare-contrast, and example to make herself heard. She also adopts a critical, but humorous, outlook in order to effectively analyze why these social structures exist without discrediting her own voice or style. In the opening paragraphs of “There Is No Unmarked Woman,” Tannen narrates a past experience from a professional conference, therefore beginning the essay on a more personal and relatable note. She begins with, “Some years ago I was at a small working conference of four women and eight men. Instead of concentrating on the discussion I found myself looking at the three other women at the table, thinking how each had a different style and how each style was coherent.” These few sentences allow the reader insight into the author’s thinking process and that even she may judge other women for how they dress and act, creating a more intimate atmosphere between the audience and the author. “One woman had dark brown hair in a classic style, a cross between Cleopatra and Plain Jane...Because she…
This article is an analysis on student’s food journals while in college. Harris used one hundred and thirty-six different papers to find out why students were failing their diets. This article goes on to debunk how college life is why people’s diets are bad. Harris points out that students are just using this as an excuse to eat more and not feel as guilty. Students continuously made excuses throughout their papers as to why their eating habits were so bad.…
In the article "His Talk, Her Talk" by Joyce Maynard, she believes that men are not smarter, steadier, more high-minded than women. She tells an experience of her own to show that there is such thing as "men's talk" or "women's talk". At the party that she attended, "it suddenly became apparent that all the women were in one room and all the men were in the other" (27). Of course, they redistributed themselves then, but no one had suggested they segregate. Also, she feels that "the talk in the kitchen was simply, all the women, felt, more interesting" (27). She also mentions that man and woman are both have different types of talking. "I think I know my husband very well, but I have no idea what goes on when he and his male friends get together. Neither can he picture what can keep a woman friend and me occupied for three hours over a single pot of coffee" (27). When a group of women conversation to her, "is likely to concern itself with matters just as pressing as those broached by my husband and friends" (27). So her conclusion is that…
Can differences in communication between men and women be defined as black and white? Deborah Tannen’s essay “But What Do You Mean” divided the biggest areas of miscommunication between men and women into seven categories, three of which caught my attention for personal reasons. As examined, women have a habit of apologizing to maintain a pleasant atmosphere. Tannen expressed how men and women react to complaints, as well. Jokes were also discussed, suggesting that men razz each other to maintain a one-up position; however, women’s jokes tend to put themselves down. Regarding Tannen’s description of these three communication categories, my personal experiences fall more within a grey area rather than assigning themselves to black and white roles.…
Have you ever thought about what makes almost every woman want to be tagged with the word “sexy”? Social media presents us with the images of woman with unrealistic figures and impractical capabilities of women, which satisfies the societal standard while giving pressure onto women. Driven by this pressure, women force themselves to reach the impractical standard which brings about a host of bandwagon issues which negatively impacts women.…
Deborah Tannen wrote the article sex, lies and conversation man and his wife are present in a small gathering in Virginia. The man is really talkative throughout the event. However, when he is complimented for his ability to express himself; he answers that in reality he is quite and his wife is the talkative one. Women tend to complain about their husbands been quiet. This is caused by the way men express themselves compared to women.…
In “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” author Deborah Tannen claims that understanding cultural differences can apply to gender differences in communication. Thus, she also claims that men and women communicate in different ways and because of that wreaks havoc in marriages; however, in the essay “In My Tribe,” author Ethan Watters claims that the people of his generation are getting married later in life and that it is becoming more popular and due that the divorce rates are declining and making marriage more enjoyable.…
According to Dr. Louann Brizandine, in a 24 hour period, the average man will speak anywhere from 7000-10,000 words, whereas a woman can speak anywhere from 20,000-24,000 words. Thousands upon thousands of words are thrown out of the human brains, but how many of those are truly understood? More importantly, how many of those are not? In Deborah Tannen 's essay, "Sex, Lies, and Conversation," pathos and logos are dropped in bombshells in order for the reader to feel accessible to such information. She poses the question, "Why is it so hard to talk to my spouse?" Through various statistics and examples, she makes the reader feel like it is his or her world she is talking about, or individualizing the audience members. The pathos in this essay mostly stirs the inner desire for a happy marriage; she simply makes the male or female reader feel like they too have misinterpreted the opposite sex. Suddenly, the reader might feel guilty, but then relieved when Tannen displays the solution. However, the statistics, quotes, and facts in the essay…
In Tannen’s case she brings up a time when she attends a women’s group meeting where they had invited men. In this meeting she mentions a talkative man who had been participating a lot in the discussion while his wife remained silent. Tannen says “That women frequently complain that their husbands don’t talk to them” (311). That man agrees with her assertion. Tannen’s later supports her arguments by listing studies further on the matter of gender communication. Power follows this by listing her conversation with a colleague who tells her “ You Westerners make love in public and pray in private. We Muslims do exactly the reverse” (301). She lists example from culture and her study on this matter.…
Tannen, Deborah. "Sex, Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?." Georgetown University: Web hosting. Washington Post, n.d. Web. 17 Feb. 2012. <http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/sexlies.htm>…
Throughout history, communication was a tool to create the powerful or the weak. Communication is the best way to show how confident someone is to express themselves. The articles, “His Politeness is Her Powerlessness”, “About Men”, and “The Woman Warrior” outline their unique vision of communication. These articles vary from comparing woman’s speech in different cultures to silent Asian children to misconceptions of the American…
In Debrah Tannen’s essay on “Why Is It So Hard For Men and Women to Talk to Each Other,” she tries to inform us of this lack of communication between men and women and the problems that it can cause. The author starts off by giving the reader an example of a situation involving a man and his wife where the husband would comment on how much his wife is the talker in the family and how she is always talking when she is at home. This demonstrates that men generally talk more in public situations, while women tend to talk more at home. She follows up by talking about how most of the women that divorced gave lack of…
Sex, Lies, and Conversation is a very interesting piece written by Deborah Tannen in which she discusses how men and women communicate in different ways, albeit with each other or with the opposite sex. She lists three different points which are, how contact is made in these conversations, how each other reacts to this contact, and we were all raised and taught differently in communication, determined by our sex. She drives home these points throughout her piece by using cold hard facts to support her claims.…
Problems with communication can result in anything from a failed marriage, to nuclear war. Imagine a woman in a very authoritative position, trying to relay crucial instructions to a highly qualified man regarding a critical operation, yet the woman does not believe this man is actually listening. Instead of giving the information to a man who does not appear to be fully committed, the boss woman assigns a highly less qualified woman to do the job, resulting in some sort of catastrophic failure. While this example is incredibly vague, it shows what miscommunication between males and females can create. “Sex Lies, and Conversation” describes the differences in male and female communication.…
The article “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” by Deborah Tannen discusses the different ways men and women communicate. The selection “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” was taken from Tannen’s book “You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation”. In the selection Tannen, a linguist’s, describes the discrepancies of communication between men and women. Most women cite conversation as a problem in relationships between a man and a woman. The discrepancies start in the stage of childhood. This is the time frame where the habits are first formed, as the child’s development is mainly influenced from their peers. I agree with Tannen’s points on why the problems arise, and can relate all the points to my own personal conversations. Tannen describes one idea as how women use intimacy as the background for friendships, and this is how all of my friendships are based. Two other points, the misalignment in the mechanics of the conversation between a man and women and how women make more listener-noises often all are true on how my conversations are conducted. Both points tend to make me believe that men aren’t listening when I am conversing with them, and this is the response from the discrepancies between a man and woman that Tannen describes.…