Define People Research Paper
John Ouk
English Honors 10
5/20/12
Period 5 Experiences and choices define people. People and their choices define their experiences in life. Experiences often nail characteristic traits and a personality into a person’s mind and their impact varies. A stove burn may remind one not to touch hot surfaces while a funeral may shut off a man’s social life for years. These moments I tell are life lessons that make me the man today.
Elementary Years
When I was young, my dad would often put me into hard and realistic scenarios to put myself to the test. This would often frustrate me because I thought it was a waste of time and unnecessary. In my elementary years, he would often give me extra problems, in addition to my homework, and made sure …show more content…
I understood the content. However, usually most of the time his explanations would go through one ear and out the other… leaving me as clueless and confused when I first approached him. Again he thoroughly explained the problem over and over. My face flushed a sign of resentment and my eyes glared at the paper as the large hand slowly turned clockwise. Problems and scribbles were written on both sides of the paper until the moment of understanding hit me. Through all that hell he put me through and his own example of “never give up, never surrender,” the heat and pressure of it forged and refined me into a perseverant, unbreakable man.
Another key concept my dad taught me was to be the best you must show you’re the best. For example, in 1st grade I was given a peachy, yellow homework packet that required us to put two numbers in an equation to figure out the sum.
“Why can’t I use 0+1=1 as an answer?”
“Because that’s the easy way out, and I don’t want you to grow up lazy and uneducated.”
“But Jack and Joel and everyone else are using it,” I said in a very childish whiny voice “Why can’t I use it?”
“I don’t want you to be everybody else. I want you to be hard working, perseverant, and unique,” my dad explained. “If everyone responded with the same answers from a job interviewer, who would they pick?”
I, being at least six at the time, did not want to listen to my dad’s words of wisdom but rather pout about it like a toddler being disciplined. My dad explained the goal is not to try your best, but rather be the best. Trying is hoping and attempting to achieve something; being is actually doing and accomplishing your goals.
7th grade
To face reality is to live. To wander around make-believe is to pretend. My life up until the summer of 7th grade had been a stroll in the park. A perfect family, above middle-class wealth, and I had only one simple guideline, to live your life for God. It’s amazing how easy a jug of fresh milk can spoil under the sun. The point of no return occurred when my mother made a brief comment that “it wasn’t in my best interests in marrying your father.” An awkward silence prevail the atmosphere. It seemed so… unreal. I managed to convince myself, “Oh it was just a slip of words.” But three weeks later, my mother and father fought over petty issues everyday ending in loud arguments. I prayed that the situation to get better. It didn’t. Eventually one afternoon, my parents announced their plans on a divorce. Worse had yet to come, my mom, while in tears, told me she had an affair with another man. Speechless. I left the room a confused and disoriented man. It had seemed like the dust settled. This was only the beginning.
My father abused my mom in every single imaginable way possible. After the “Disney” marriage, my mom cried herself to sleep every night for several years. This was due to my dad’s anger issues and stubbornness to compromise. It was not until later he redirected his anger elsewhere… Later on my dad changed his mind and decided he did not want divorce and rather settle it out through court to cripple my mom financially as much as possible. Because my mom makes more money him, he wanted her to pay for his bills as well. He wanted this even though my mom has a hard enough time supporting a family of five by herself. Because our family was deeply religious, my dad put it on full blast to our church that my mom wanted to divorce him. Soon couples—I even remember a pair of six including the pastor himself—from the church came to our house condemning my mom’s decision and giving her advice. Not only had this happened, but gossip of my mom spread like wildfire among the church. How hypocritical! My father had successfully isolated my mom from the church. To this day she only has two good friends from church as opposed to the hundred she had before the conflict. You know in those cheesy romantic movies when a huge argument occurs between two couples, the man ends up sleeping on the couch? Well, reality proved me wrong when my mom ended up sleeping in my sisters’ room. Tears and a wet pillow were frequent in the process of sleeping of each night I slept. So one time my mom came in my bed to comfort me. To my astonishment my father accused her of rape. I know there are more wretched actions my dad committed but I have not been told of them so I will not think any lower of my dad. Because of all horrid situations my mom has been through, I know I’m willing to kill a person if they so happen to make a wrong remark about my mom. So I don’t talk about my mom to strangers or acquaintances; I don’t set up pitfalls that people will blindly walk into. At first unknown to me, I learned of another family problem.
If you can recall the 5th sentence in the last paragraph, my dad redirected his anger at another target. He aimed at my sister. When my older sister grew up, she spent at least a decade trying to win my dad’s approval. Usual remarks from him would include: “Oh,” “Ok,” “That’s nice.” But whenever he was alone with her, he told her many times that he wishes she was dead and wished he convinced mom to abort her. She never received the love dad gave to me. Eventually when she turned into a teenager and gave up. She began to wear make-up, have friends that my dad did not like, and go on MySpace. My dad not approve of these activities… This clash led to my dad calling her ugly, blocking MySpace from her computer, and trying to socially withdraw her from her friends. Pretty soon Rebecca, my sister, was being yelled at for small reasons every once in a while. Soon all that resentment built up plus the abuse against my mom was a powder keg waiting to explode. She admits contemplating suicide when the situation continued. Now whenever she talks about him the conversation always turns out to criticize him. They have not spoken since my dad left the house. Now my father wishes for her company. Irony is a revolving door that can swing seemingly in front of you but within the next moment hit you in the back.
Pulled on both sides of the family, I felt I had no one to talk to. I cried. I prayed. But ultimately I died. A part of me died during those events and that was my childish side when I accepted everything to be all right. My belief of a tightly fitted, flawless family turned out to be a bunch of misshapen puzzle pieces jammed and fitted together with Elmer’s glue. Today my mom and dad don’t even communicate by email. My mother believes that just because couples were unable to work it out as partners does not mean they cannot cooperate as parents. My father believes they are enemies and forever shall be. My mom stayed in the marriage for fifteen enduring years because her ultimate life goal was to be a successful mother, a mom who can look back on their past and have genuine pride in their kids. To divorce meant a shattered life for me, excommunication from the church, and resentment from my dad. A kept marriage meant suicide of the 1st born and continued abuse in the relationship. It’s a lose-lose scenario. She made a hard decision in divorcing him and I believe only God can judge her. To those reading this paper, and judging my dad as a prick. I’ll be damned if you tell that to my face. He certainly does have good qualities. Just because a man makes bad decisions doesn’t make him a bad person. In all honesty though, I haven’t been able to look up to my dad as a true example of a father ever since those incidents. You may be thinking why am I writing such a personal story with such detail? At first I was unable to cope with retelling these events; I delayed writing about this anecdote off for two weeks even using my Not-Quite-So-Golden ticket. Through my experience with my parent’s divorce, I came to accept reality. My own ability to discuss it, without embarrassment, is proof. I came out of a sheltered Christian home and a private school to accept the world as it is. Good or bad.
8th Grade
Originality is the innovation of life. Duplication just takes one step. The start of 8th grade was rough for me: I had trouble adapting a public school environment. My previous school was Shoreline Christian School; a school where Christian ideologies were crammed down your throat. For example, my biology teacher, Mr. VanHal said,
“We’re going to skip over the evolution unit.”
I asked, “Why?”
“It’s just some silly unit telling us how poo-throwing monkeys evolved into the intellectuals today”
Not to mention, the school was full of squares. Kids there considered skipping class the worst thing they have ever done. I, at the time, could be considered as a goody-two shoe full of Christian pride. Might as well send a sheep into a mountain lion’s den. Following my parent’s divorce, I was very socially awkward. I was too scared to make enemies: I didn’t want any more social discomfort. So I went into school as a Mr. Agree-with-you-on-everything. I thought posing as a neutral was the quickest way to make friends and the most efficient way to minimalize enemies. I was wrong. People trampled me with their insults because I let them walk all over me. I was nearly friendless because I had nothing to define me. It was not until the end of the semester when one of my “bullies” confronted me. “Ha ha John you’re probably the most hated kid in our class. That’s what the teacher told me,” Danny teased. “Yeah ha ha you’re probably right,” I chuckled uneasily. He paused, gave a confused look, and then said, “Jesus, John you’re so goddamn boring it’s hard to make fun of you. Stand up for yourself; have some self-respect. Maybe you can earn mine.” At that point I realized I had to quit this phony act. I used comedy to define my personality. Quick with clever comebacks, hilarious insults, and constant back talking to my teacher, I soon made a name for myself. You may say I always wanted to be that one “cool” kid even if I had to act stupid. But honestly, I was having so much fun I knew this was my personality. Soon my enemies became my friends. Although I may have gotten a bit carried away, I felt like I finally I had friends in a place I belonged. I swear this is the corniest line in existence, but be yourself. If you try to please everybody by being neutral, you’ll end up pleasing nobody—including yourself.
9th Grade If you looked in the mirror and saw everyone’s negative opinions about you, would you change? In 9th grade my mother signed me up for three honor classes. I thought, “Great… hanging with goody-two shoes and homework. That sounds fun.” In my 1st class I only knew one person Christian Clarete. I started a brief conversation with but noticed ended it shortly due to lack of interest. I tried telling crude jokes but that just earned me weird looks. The kids in here rather talk about their test grades and complain about their grades than actually converse. Bleh. If I were to die in those classes, the cause would be boredom. Sooner or later, I started to fool around in class, constantly to entertain myself. Sleeping, listening to music, and back talking to teachers—especially substitutes—helped convince my classmates that I deserved the Biggest Jerk in the Universe Award. I’m not proud of it actually. By this time I had given up conversing with that crowd, I hated how they judged me. They assumed I was a huge jerk or that I barely passed my classes. I felt like everyone in the class was out to annoy me or judge me. During the summer of 9th grade I began to reflect my thoughts on last year. I began to realize I criticized them for being judgmental even though I grouped my classmates into nerdy clichés. By realizing these mistakes, I concluded that humans will always be judgmental. To others you will always be what you present. There wasn’t anything wrong with them, it’s me. Quit caring what they do and you’ll get along fine. That year I learned not to judge a book by its cover, but by the content of the pages.
10th Grade If you were to give me all the money in the world in exchange for all of my memories of my friends and family, I would give you a simple answer. No. In 7th grade when I left my old school; I also had left my best friend there. I remember the days we would sit at lunch, make fun of others, get in trouble with each other, holler at a girl with the same pick up line, and back talk the teachers. We promised to keep in connection but that amounted to minimal interaction such as Facebook chatting. I used to see him daily. Daily turned into weekly, weekly turned into monthly, and soon I wondered if he changed in appearance or personality. I did, I adapted to public school life and he remained in his. As the rift widened through the years we could hardly recognize each other. At that point we didn’t even know each other’s thoughts, goals, or crushes. And that’s when everything turned sour. Our views clashed and our conversations turned into arguments. Then I struck the hammer. 8:36 P.M.
Caleb Bonner “Hey bro, its been a while. Whats Good?” 8:38 P.M. John Ouk “ummm why do you still talk to me?” 8:45 P.M. Caleb Bonner “Uhh why would i not talk to you? I know we haven’t talked in a while… but its not like i hate you.” 8:45 P.M. John Ouk “Well you don’t even hit me up by yourself to see what’s up at least once a month.” 8:46 P.M. Caleb Bonner “Didn’t i just do that?” 8:48 P.M. John Ouk “And when I try to clear my schedule for you. You always blow me off by going to practice. Yeah in like 6 months. Congrats. 8:48 P.M. Caleb Bonner “Its been over a month yeah but i’m trying to find out whats up right now.” 8:51 P.M. John Ouk “*clap* *clap* Seriously is that what best friends do?” 8:55 P.M. Caleb Bonner “I don’t blow you off dude… my practices are set… I always say we can hang out after. And no its not. I know we haven’t been close friends.” 8:58 P.M. John Ouk “No… I make time in my schedule: I skip boxing. Problem is that there is no time to hang out after practice. And I wouldn’t mind practice so much if you didn’t have it every single weekend and the fact you play all the sports. And you can’t even skip one …show more content…
practice…” 9:00 Caleb Bonner “And i would skip practice to chill if I could drive.
And if my parents would let me but i can’t just skip and then tell my parents i wanted to hang they would be mad.” 9:03 John Ouk “Uhuhuh but friend go out their way for each other no matter what the cause.” 9:04 Caleb Bonner “I’m sorry our situation got screwed up no lie.” 9:04 John Ouk “Yeah you let it.” 9:04 Caleb Bonner “And we argued at each other over silly crap that doesn’t even matter. I haven’t been there and i’ll be there now. 9:07 John Ouk “Hahahahaha. That’s like a mom telling an orphan I’m sorry I put in the orphanage for 5 years but I’m ready to accept you as my son.” 9:10 Caleb Bonner “Then just say no and stop making fun of the fact that i’m not perfect.” 9:11 John Ouk “… I never said that. I never criticized you on bein perfect. I’m criticizing you for being a terrible
‘friend.” 9:12 Caleb Bonner “That is what i meant dude…” 9:13 John Ouk “Seriously 8th grade, last year, and this year I reached my hand far out to you. But you never bothered to reach back. So if I’m ignoring you now. It’s called karma.” 9:14 Caleb Bonner “Okay.” And that was that. I honestly thought, at the time, that the best thing to do was move on. I thought about this incident over the next few weeks. My heart felt in the wrong place: I went out to make it right. June 2nd John Ouk “Hey I’m sorry. I said stuff that shouldn’t have come out of my mouth. I honestly thought you moved on and did not need me.” June 2nd Caleb Bonner “Hey it’s all good. And I know that’s my bad. I just got busy and forgot that friends are what is really important.” With that apology, I soon felt the warm embrace from my brother. Even though we weren’t in the same room, I could feel the tight bond in our friendship. With my left hand outstretched and his right hand grabbing it, we closed that rift together. I talked with him as an old friend I hadn’t seen in years. Memories with friends and family are influences that should not be tossed away. Even if they move or pass away, you’re experiences with them will remain. Many will try to remember the good ones and forget the bad ones. But don’t. Keep them. Keep them all. I tried to throw away our friendship but I rekindled it by remembering our times together. From there, we seek to build new ones.
Epilogue
Change happens all the time. I imagine myself, in the future, as a grown-up with the same ideals. But that vision is very shallow. I can only add experiences as I pick them up along the unknown road. Because it is unknown, I can expect to pick up a few dog turds along the way. Though I know how I will proceed, one step forward and not a single step back.
English Honors 10
5/20/12
Period 5 Experiences and choices define people. People and their choices define their experiences in life. Experiences often nail characteristic traits and a personality into a person’s mind and their impact varies. A stove burn may remind one not to touch hot surfaces while a funeral may shut off a man’s social life for years. These moments I tell are life lessons that make me the man today.
Elementary Years
When I was young, my dad would often put me into hard and realistic scenarios to put myself to the test. This would often frustrate me because I thought it was a waste of time and unnecessary. In my elementary years, he would often give me extra problems, in addition to my homework, and made sure …show more content…
I understood the content. However, usually most of the time his explanations would go through one ear and out the other… leaving me as clueless and confused when I first approached him. Again he thoroughly explained the problem over and over. My face flushed a sign of resentment and my eyes glared at the paper as the large hand slowly turned clockwise. Problems and scribbles were written on both sides of the paper until the moment of understanding hit me. Through all that hell he put me through and his own example of “never give up, never surrender,” the heat and pressure of it forged and refined me into a perseverant, unbreakable man.
Another key concept my dad taught me was to be the best you must show you’re the best. For example, in 1st grade I was given a peachy, yellow homework packet that required us to put two numbers in an equation to figure out the sum.
“Why can’t I use 0+1=1 as an answer?”
“Because that’s the easy way out, and I don’t want you to grow up lazy and uneducated.”
“But Jack and Joel and everyone else are using it,” I said in a very childish whiny voice “Why can’t I use it?”
“I don’t want you to be everybody else. I want you to be hard working, perseverant, and unique,” my dad explained. “If everyone responded with the same answers from a job interviewer, who would they pick?”
I, being at least six at the time, did not want to listen to my dad’s words of wisdom but rather pout about it like a toddler being disciplined. My dad explained the goal is not to try your best, but rather be the best. Trying is hoping and attempting to achieve something; being is actually doing and accomplishing your goals.
7th grade
To face reality is to live. To wander around make-believe is to pretend. My life up until the summer of 7th grade had been a stroll in the park. A perfect family, above middle-class wealth, and I had only one simple guideline, to live your life for God. It’s amazing how easy a jug of fresh milk can spoil under the sun. The point of no return occurred when my mother made a brief comment that “it wasn’t in my best interests in marrying your father.” An awkward silence prevail the atmosphere. It seemed so… unreal. I managed to convince myself, “Oh it was just a slip of words.” But three weeks later, my mother and father fought over petty issues everyday ending in loud arguments. I prayed that the situation to get better. It didn’t. Eventually one afternoon, my parents announced their plans on a divorce. Worse had yet to come, my mom, while in tears, told me she had an affair with another man. Speechless. I left the room a confused and disoriented man. It had seemed like the dust settled. This was only the beginning.
My father abused my mom in every single imaginable way possible. After the “Disney” marriage, my mom cried herself to sleep every night for several years. This was due to my dad’s anger issues and stubbornness to compromise. It was not until later he redirected his anger elsewhere… Later on my dad changed his mind and decided he did not want divorce and rather settle it out through court to cripple my mom financially as much as possible. Because my mom makes more money him, he wanted her to pay for his bills as well. He wanted this even though my mom has a hard enough time supporting a family of five by herself. Because our family was deeply religious, my dad put it on full blast to our church that my mom wanted to divorce him. Soon couples—I even remember a pair of six including the pastor himself—from the church came to our house condemning my mom’s decision and giving her advice. Not only had this happened, but gossip of my mom spread like wildfire among the church. How hypocritical! My father had successfully isolated my mom from the church. To this day she only has two good friends from church as opposed to the hundred she had before the conflict. You know in those cheesy romantic movies when a huge argument occurs between two couples, the man ends up sleeping on the couch? Well, reality proved me wrong when my mom ended up sleeping in my sisters’ room. Tears and a wet pillow were frequent in the process of sleeping of each night I slept. So one time my mom came in my bed to comfort me. To my astonishment my father accused her of rape. I know there are more wretched actions my dad committed but I have not been told of them so I will not think any lower of my dad. Because of all horrid situations my mom has been through, I know I’m willing to kill a person if they so happen to make a wrong remark about my mom. So I don’t talk about my mom to strangers or acquaintances; I don’t set up pitfalls that people will blindly walk into. At first unknown to me, I learned of another family problem.
If you can recall the 5th sentence in the last paragraph, my dad redirected his anger at another target. He aimed at my sister. When my older sister grew up, she spent at least a decade trying to win my dad’s approval. Usual remarks from him would include: “Oh,” “Ok,” “That’s nice.” But whenever he was alone with her, he told her many times that he wishes she was dead and wished he convinced mom to abort her. She never received the love dad gave to me. Eventually when she turned into a teenager and gave up. She began to wear make-up, have friends that my dad did not like, and go on MySpace. My dad not approve of these activities… This clash led to my dad calling her ugly, blocking MySpace from her computer, and trying to socially withdraw her from her friends. Pretty soon Rebecca, my sister, was being yelled at for small reasons every once in a while. Soon all that resentment built up plus the abuse against my mom was a powder keg waiting to explode. She admits contemplating suicide when the situation continued. Now whenever she talks about him the conversation always turns out to criticize him. They have not spoken since my dad left the house. Now my father wishes for her company. Irony is a revolving door that can swing seemingly in front of you but within the next moment hit you in the back.
Pulled on both sides of the family, I felt I had no one to talk to. I cried. I prayed. But ultimately I died. A part of me died during those events and that was my childish side when I accepted everything to be all right. My belief of a tightly fitted, flawless family turned out to be a bunch of misshapen puzzle pieces jammed and fitted together with Elmer’s glue. Today my mom and dad don’t even communicate by email. My mother believes that just because couples were unable to work it out as partners does not mean they cannot cooperate as parents. My father believes they are enemies and forever shall be. My mom stayed in the marriage for fifteen enduring years because her ultimate life goal was to be a successful mother, a mom who can look back on their past and have genuine pride in their kids. To divorce meant a shattered life for me, excommunication from the church, and resentment from my dad. A kept marriage meant suicide of the 1st born and continued abuse in the relationship. It’s a lose-lose scenario. She made a hard decision in divorcing him and I believe only God can judge her. To those reading this paper, and judging my dad as a prick. I’ll be damned if you tell that to my face. He certainly does have good qualities. Just because a man makes bad decisions doesn’t make him a bad person. In all honesty though, I haven’t been able to look up to my dad as a true example of a father ever since those incidents. You may be thinking why am I writing such a personal story with such detail? At first I was unable to cope with retelling these events; I delayed writing about this anecdote off for two weeks even using my Not-Quite-So-Golden ticket. Through my experience with my parent’s divorce, I came to accept reality. My own ability to discuss it, without embarrassment, is proof. I came out of a sheltered Christian home and a private school to accept the world as it is. Good or bad.
8th Grade
Originality is the innovation of life. Duplication just takes one step. The start of 8th grade was rough for me: I had trouble adapting a public school environment. My previous school was Shoreline Christian School; a school where Christian ideologies were crammed down your throat. For example, my biology teacher, Mr. VanHal said,
“We’re going to skip over the evolution unit.”
I asked, “Why?”
“It’s just some silly unit telling us how poo-throwing monkeys evolved into the intellectuals today”
Not to mention, the school was full of squares. Kids there considered skipping class the worst thing they have ever done. I, at the time, could be considered as a goody-two shoe full of Christian pride. Might as well send a sheep into a mountain lion’s den. Following my parent’s divorce, I was very socially awkward. I was too scared to make enemies: I didn’t want any more social discomfort. So I went into school as a Mr. Agree-with-you-on-everything. I thought posing as a neutral was the quickest way to make friends and the most efficient way to minimalize enemies. I was wrong. People trampled me with their insults because I let them walk all over me. I was nearly friendless because I had nothing to define me. It was not until the end of the semester when one of my “bullies” confronted me. “Ha ha John you’re probably the most hated kid in our class. That’s what the teacher told me,” Danny teased. “Yeah ha ha you’re probably right,” I chuckled uneasily. He paused, gave a confused look, and then said, “Jesus, John you’re so goddamn boring it’s hard to make fun of you. Stand up for yourself; have some self-respect. Maybe you can earn mine.” At that point I realized I had to quit this phony act. I used comedy to define my personality. Quick with clever comebacks, hilarious insults, and constant back talking to my teacher, I soon made a name for myself. You may say I always wanted to be that one “cool” kid even if I had to act stupid. But honestly, I was having so much fun I knew this was my personality. Soon my enemies became my friends. Although I may have gotten a bit carried away, I felt like I finally I had friends in a place I belonged. I swear this is the corniest line in existence, but be yourself. If you try to please everybody by being neutral, you’ll end up pleasing nobody—including yourself.
9th Grade If you looked in the mirror and saw everyone’s negative opinions about you, would you change? In 9th grade my mother signed me up for three honor classes. I thought, “Great… hanging with goody-two shoes and homework. That sounds fun.” In my 1st class I only knew one person Christian Clarete. I started a brief conversation with but noticed ended it shortly due to lack of interest. I tried telling crude jokes but that just earned me weird looks. The kids in here rather talk about their test grades and complain about their grades than actually converse. Bleh. If I were to die in those classes, the cause would be boredom. Sooner or later, I started to fool around in class, constantly to entertain myself. Sleeping, listening to music, and back talking to teachers—especially substitutes—helped convince my classmates that I deserved the Biggest Jerk in the Universe Award. I’m not proud of it actually. By this time I had given up conversing with that crowd, I hated how they judged me. They assumed I was a huge jerk or that I barely passed my classes. I felt like everyone in the class was out to annoy me or judge me. During the summer of 9th grade I began to reflect my thoughts on last year. I began to realize I criticized them for being judgmental even though I grouped my classmates into nerdy clichés. By realizing these mistakes, I concluded that humans will always be judgmental. To others you will always be what you present. There wasn’t anything wrong with them, it’s me. Quit caring what they do and you’ll get along fine. That year I learned not to judge a book by its cover, but by the content of the pages.
10th Grade If you were to give me all the money in the world in exchange for all of my memories of my friends and family, I would give you a simple answer. No. In 7th grade when I left my old school; I also had left my best friend there. I remember the days we would sit at lunch, make fun of others, get in trouble with each other, holler at a girl with the same pick up line, and back talk the teachers. We promised to keep in connection but that amounted to minimal interaction such as Facebook chatting. I used to see him daily. Daily turned into weekly, weekly turned into monthly, and soon I wondered if he changed in appearance or personality. I did, I adapted to public school life and he remained in his. As the rift widened through the years we could hardly recognize each other. At that point we didn’t even know each other’s thoughts, goals, or crushes. And that’s when everything turned sour. Our views clashed and our conversations turned into arguments. Then I struck the hammer. 8:36 P.M.
Caleb Bonner “Hey bro, its been a while. Whats Good?” 8:38 P.M. John Ouk “ummm why do you still talk to me?” 8:45 P.M. Caleb Bonner “Uhh why would i not talk to you? I know we haven’t talked in a while… but its not like i hate you.” 8:45 P.M. John Ouk “Well you don’t even hit me up by yourself to see what’s up at least once a month.” 8:46 P.M. Caleb Bonner “Didn’t i just do that?” 8:48 P.M. John Ouk “And when I try to clear my schedule for you. You always blow me off by going to practice. Yeah in like 6 months. Congrats. 8:48 P.M. Caleb Bonner “Its been over a month yeah but i’m trying to find out whats up right now.” 8:51 P.M. John Ouk “*clap* *clap* Seriously is that what best friends do?” 8:55 P.M. Caleb Bonner “I don’t blow you off dude… my practices are set… I always say we can hang out after. And no its not. I know we haven’t been close friends.” 8:58 P.M. John Ouk “No… I make time in my schedule: I skip boxing. Problem is that there is no time to hang out after practice. And I wouldn’t mind practice so much if you didn’t have it every single weekend and the fact you play all the sports. And you can’t even skip one …show more content…
practice…” 9:00 Caleb Bonner “And i would skip practice to chill if I could drive.
And if my parents would let me but i can’t just skip and then tell my parents i wanted to hang they would be mad.” 9:03 John Ouk “Uhuhuh but friend go out their way for each other no matter what the cause.” 9:04 Caleb Bonner “I’m sorry our situation got screwed up no lie.” 9:04 John Ouk “Yeah you let it.” 9:04 Caleb Bonner “And we argued at each other over silly crap that doesn’t even matter. I haven’t been there and i’ll be there now. 9:07 John Ouk “Hahahahaha. That’s like a mom telling an orphan I’m sorry I put in the orphanage for 5 years but I’m ready to accept you as my son.” 9:10 Caleb Bonner “Then just say no and stop making fun of the fact that i’m not perfect.” 9:11 John Ouk “… I never said that. I never criticized you on bein perfect. I’m criticizing you for being a terrible
‘friend.” 9:12 Caleb Bonner “That is what i meant dude…” 9:13 John Ouk “Seriously 8th grade, last year, and this year I reached my hand far out to you. But you never bothered to reach back. So if I’m ignoring you now. It’s called karma.” 9:14 Caleb Bonner “Okay.” And that was that. I honestly thought, at the time, that the best thing to do was move on. I thought about this incident over the next few weeks. My heart felt in the wrong place: I went out to make it right. June 2nd John Ouk “Hey I’m sorry. I said stuff that shouldn’t have come out of my mouth. I honestly thought you moved on and did not need me.” June 2nd Caleb Bonner “Hey it’s all good. And I know that’s my bad. I just got busy and forgot that friends are what is really important.” With that apology, I soon felt the warm embrace from my brother. Even though we weren’t in the same room, I could feel the tight bond in our friendship. With my left hand outstretched and his right hand grabbing it, we closed that rift together. I talked with him as an old friend I hadn’t seen in years. Memories with friends and family are influences that should not be tossed away. Even if they move or pass away, you’re experiences with them will remain. Many will try to remember the good ones and forget the bad ones. But don’t. Keep them. Keep them all. I tried to throw away our friendship but I rekindled it by remembering our times together. From there, we seek to build new ones.
Epilogue
Change happens all the time. I imagine myself, in the future, as a grown-up with the same ideals. But that vision is very shallow. I can only add experiences as I pick them up along the unknown road. Because it is unknown, I can expect to pick up a few dog turds along the way. Though I know how I will proceed, one step forward and not a single step back.