Definition Essay On Love
What ruins Love?
Everyone knows that love is hard to come by but what they don’t know is how to handle it when it does come by. Many things in life can destroy a happy marriage or the perfect relationship. Relationships are not pitch perfect as they show in movies. To be in relationship it is essential to take a responsibility to stick with it when things go wrong. Dishonesty, long distance, mistrust, misunderstandings, difference in priorities, circumstances etc. there are endless reasons that can ruin Love. Biggest of which are Lust, Power and Greed. A philosopher Jullan Baggini says “…. At its best, however, all love is a kind a passionate commitment that we nurture and develop, even though it usually arrives in our lives unbidden. That's …show more content…
why it is more than just a powerful feeling. Without the commitment, it is mere infatuation. Without the passion, it is mere dedication. Without nurturing, even the best can wither and die”. Why can’t it just be a magical feeling that two people feel for each other without all the scientific and social explanations.. Love can easily be destroyed if these 3 things: Lust, Power and Greed invade the relationship.
First of all let’s talk about Lust.
Lust is the most common feeling very closely associated with Love. Lust is easily confused with Love. A person in Lust thinks that he or she is in love, which is what confuses them. What does lust mean? Lust is "Very strong sexual desire.", as oppose to love which is "An intense feeling of deep affection.". When you are in love the feeling is not only made of physical attraction but also an intense feeling of fondness for the other person. Whereas in Lust, there is absence of any emotions further then of sexual nature. Lust is self-serving, love is unlimited and unselfish, and although love doesn't exclude lust, it's handy to know the difference between the two. Love is the building of a foundation of a relationship between two people where no matter whether they are in the same room or in a different state you still love them. When in Lust, you don’t feel the same. However, the confusion between the feeling is not only the reason it ruins love. Lust has many ways to ruin a relationship, one of the partners may start feeling lustful for third person altogether. Even in mythology lust is associated with devil. Agreed that one cannot be blamed for feeling sexually attracted to a person, but when it ruins present partner’s feeling that ruins trust of person on the notion of Love as whole. It does not just effect those two people but how everyone around think about love. Hence, one needs good quality of time to know their actual feeling and not fall for it too soon or too late. Love is a very magical feeling and everyone should embrace it. Love is foundation of all religions and they talk about how important Love is in
world.
Next comes Power, definition of power is “possession of control, authority, or influence over others”, this is the worst of three to ruin Love. When you are in Love, the feeling that you own the other person penetrates, that’s when relationship starts going downhill. A real bond is established between the two individuals who are equal as to power and control. Seeking power in relationships leads to despair for everyone involved. One is victor and the other is victimized. Neither party experiences a fulfilled relationship because there is underlying resentment and distrust. To a certain extent power can be healthy, but when you misuse the power given to you by your partner then it becomes complicated. For example: A girl giving access to all her private details, passwords, accounts to her partner and in return that partner keeps day to day check on her social life and transaction out of insecurity. That is misuse of power and trust in relationship. Sometimes people get carried away from strong emotions and in that process they forget that trusting the other person is part of being in love. If you fail to trust or fail to be trusted no one except you is at fault. Life is very simple, nobody owes you anything and you don’t owe anything to anyone. Mutual respect is a must when in love and proper care should be taken to see that you are respectful to each other. Every day we see in news how people committee crime of passions because they think their partner is some asset that belongs to them. The recent of incident of a famous athlete Oscar Pistorius killing his girlfriend is a great example how people get carried away in strong emotions of revenge. In a moment of weakness, he thought he had power to end her life just because of some petty misunderstanding. People should be very careful; they should know their boundaries and how far they have right on other person. Humans will always be tempted with other feelings but conquering them and doing the right thing is what separates human from animals. Everyone should keep that in mind.
Third and last is Greed. It is human nature to always want more and more. When someone gives you an apple you ask for apple pie. If you think about this for a moment, you might realize that what is focal point of majority of fights relationship - the partner feels lonely, not loved, lack of trust etc. All this somehow comes from Greed. You always want your partner to give you utmost priority and nothing less. If they give time you demand more time. If they give you love, you demand more love, more investment in relationship, more money, more everything. It’s not always the case but mostly the need of always wanting more ruins love. Either of the partners eventually gives up without realizing how important it is to feel secured and not always think about oneself. Feeling satisfied with what you have is another thing humans should do. But, we are creature of habit, always wanting more. The other type of greed that ruins love is - greed for money. Many times people act to be in love with a person for their money. In return they can become rich and once again the integrity of being in love in the eyes of people around is compromised. Everyday you read in newspaper how people kill, use and abuse each other for money. Dowry, divorce to acquire half of estate, abusing etc. is very common nowadays. People kill for me and die for money. The one that you trust the most may hurt you the most. Being greedy for more or money ruins Love. Control your temptations and focus on what is important is the lesson to be learned. What we really need to understand is what is important for us as individuals to survive in this world. Is it all artificial possessions or the feeling of being in love and loved by other person. Are we going to let small things come in our way or fight the evil emotions and make our life worthwhile? Other thing is also to think about is what provokes us to make these mistakes. For instance, one of the reasons can be Media. Is it possible that the influence of Media and entertainment industry saying how perfect your partner has to be? We all know that how movies show us that what your Mr. Perfect/Ms. Perfect should be and anything less is not acceptable. The definition of ‘Hot’ is overrated. Movies define how he/she has to behave socially, publically, in front of your friends and family. They define everything out and we follow it like flock of goats follow their shepherd. Popular TV Shows like Bachelorette, Sex in the city, gossip girl show unreal expectation and teenagers or adults watching this show start thinking that it is real life. Are we so numb to see that it is just entertainment and made up stories? Materialistic society is what we all should stay away from. Looks, money, social status and all the glamour is going to fade away one day, all that one would be left with is people around them. It is time to wake up from fake reality and understand what really runs this world:; Love. It can be in any form - Love for family, friends, lover and God, one has to believe in making it happen. Just something that one should think about. Love is precious thing and sooner you start realizing it the better it is.
Everyone knows that love is hard to come by but what they don’t know is how to handle it when it does come by. Many things in life can destroy a happy marriage or the perfect relationship. Relationships are not pitch perfect as they show in movies. To be in relationship it is essential to take a responsibility to stick with it when things go wrong. Dishonesty, long distance, mistrust, misunderstandings, difference in priorities, circumstances etc. there are endless reasons that can ruin Love. Biggest of which are Lust, Power and Greed. A philosopher Jullan Baggini says “…. At its best, however, all love is a kind a passionate commitment that we nurture and develop, even though it usually arrives in our lives unbidden. That's …show more content…
why it is more than just a powerful feeling. Without the commitment, it is mere infatuation. Without the passion, it is mere dedication. Without nurturing, even the best can wither and die”. Why can’t it just be a magical feeling that two people feel for each other without all the scientific and social explanations.. Love can easily be destroyed if these 3 things: Lust, Power and Greed invade the relationship.
First of all let’s talk about Lust.
Lust is the most common feeling very closely associated with Love. Lust is easily confused with Love. A person in Lust thinks that he or she is in love, which is what confuses them. What does lust mean? Lust is "Very strong sexual desire.", as oppose to love which is "An intense feeling of deep affection.". When you are in love the feeling is not only made of physical attraction but also an intense feeling of fondness for the other person. Whereas in Lust, there is absence of any emotions further then of sexual nature. Lust is self-serving, love is unlimited and unselfish, and although love doesn't exclude lust, it's handy to know the difference between the two. Love is the building of a foundation of a relationship between two people where no matter whether they are in the same room or in a different state you still love them. When in Lust, you don’t feel the same. However, the confusion between the feeling is not only the reason it ruins love. Lust has many ways to ruin a relationship, one of the partners may start feeling lustful for third person altogether. Even in mythology lust is associated with devil. Agreed that one cannot be blamed for feeling sexually attracted to a person, but when it ruins present partner’s feeling that ruins trust of person on the notion of Love as whole. It does not just effect those two people but how everyone around think about love. Hence, one needs good quality of time to know their actual feeling and not fall for it too soon or too late. Love is a very magical feeling and everyone should embrace it. Love is foundation of all religions and they talk about how important Love is in
world.
Next comes Power, definition of power is “possession of control, authority, or influence over others”, this is the worst of three to ruin Love. When you are in Love, the feeling that you own the other person penetrates, that’s when relationship starts going downhill. A real bond is established between the two individuals who are equal as to power and control. Seeking power in relationships leads to despair for everyone involved. One is victor and the other is victimized. Neither party experiences a fulfilled relationship because there is underlying resentment and distrust. To a certain extent power can be healthy, but when you misuse the power given to you by your partner then it becomes complicated. For example: A girl giving access to all her private details, passwords, accounts to her partner and in return that partner keeps day to day check on her social life and transaction out of insecurity. That is misuse of power and trust in relationship. Sometimes people get carried away from strong emotions and in that process they forget that trusting the other person is part of being in love. If you fail to trust or fail to be trusted no one except you is at fault. Life is very simple, nobody owes you anything and you don’t owe anything to anyone. Mutual respect is a must when in love and proper care should be taken to see that you are respectful to each other. Every day we see in news how people committee crime of passions because they think their partner is some asset that belongs to them. The recent of incident of a famous athlete Oscar Pistorius killing his girlfriend is a great example how people get carried away in strong emotions of revenge. In a moment of weakness, he thought he had power to end her life just because of some petty misunderstanding. People should be very careful; they should know their boundaries and how far they have right on other person. Humans will always be tempted with other feelings but conquering them and doing the right thing is what separates human from animals. Everyone should keep that in mind.
Third and last is Greed. It is human nature to always want more and more. When someone gives you an apple you ask for apple pie. If you think about this for a moment, you might realize that what is focal point of majority of fights relationship - the partner feels lonely, not loved, lack of trust etc. All this somehow comes from Greed. You always want your partner to give you utmost priority and nothing less. If they give time you demand more time. If they give you love, you demand more love, more investment in relationship, more money, more everything. It’s not always the case but mostly the need of always wanting more ruins love. Either of the partners eventually gives up without realizing how important it is to feel secured and not always think about oneself. Feeling satisfied with what you have is another thing humans should do. But, we are creature of habit, always wanting more. The other type of greed that ruins love is - greed for money. Many times people act to be in love with a person for their money. In return they can become rich and once again the integrity of being in love in the eyes of people around is compromised. Everyday you read in newspaper how people kill, use and abuse each other for money. Dowry, divorce to acquire half of estate, abusing etc. is very common nowadays. People kill for me and die for money. The one that you trust the most may hurt you the most. Being greedy for more or money ruins Love. Control your temptations and focus on what is important is the lesson to be learned. What we really need to understand is what is important for us as individuals to survive in this world. Is it all artificial possessions or the feeling of being in love and loved by other person. Are we going to let small things come in our way or fight the evil emotions and make our life worthwhile? Other thing is also to think about is what provokes us to make these mistakes. For instance, one of the reasons can be Media. Is it possible that the influence of Media and entertainment industry saying how perfect your partner has to be? We all know that how movies show us that what your Mr. Perfect/Ms. Perfect should be and anything less is not acceptable. The definition of ‘Hot’ is overrated. Movies define how he/she has to behave socially, publically, in front of your friends and family. They define everything out and we follow it like flock of goats follow their shepherd. Popular TV Shows like Bachelorette, Sex in the city, gossip girl show unreal expectation and teenagers or adults watching this show start thinking that it is real life. Are we so numb to see that it is just entertainment and made up stories? Materialistic society is what we all should stay away from. Looks, money, social status and all the glamour is going to fade away one day, all that one would be left with is people around them. It is time to wake up from fake reality and understand what really runs this world:; Love. It can be in any form - Love for family, friends, lover and God, one has to believe in making it happen. Just something that one should think about. Love is precious thing and sooner you start realizing it the better it is.