Desensitized In A Long Way Gone
Now I am Become Death, The Destroyer of Worlds
Violence, witnessing, experiencing, or even causing it, can cause a person to become desensitized to it. The more violence a person experiences, the easier it becomes to handle. In his memoir A Long Way Gone, author Ishmael Beah draws parallels between witnessing violence and becoming desensitized to it. Graphic instances in Ishmael’s life such as witnessing his friends die causes him to become desensitized to violence, from just barely being able to kill enemy soldiers due to adrenaline, to thoughtlessly slaughtering anything in his path. When Ishmael first encounters government soldiers, he sees a horrific scene. While on a boat after being picked up by soldiers Ishmael’s “eyes caught
the smashed head of another man. Something inside his brain was still pulsating and he was breathing. [he] felt nauseated. One of the soldiers was looking at [him]...’You will get used to it, everybody does eventually,’” (100). Ishmael witnesses a mutilated man, and having little experience with such graphic scenes so close, he feels sick. This contradicts the soldier near him, who “smiles” and is not phased by the dying man. This contradiction between Ishmael's nausea and violence, and the soldier’s lack there of, foreshadows the later emotional state of Ishmael. When Ishmael initially joins the military, unlike the experienced soldier he met before joining, he is unable to kill enemy soldiers when his squad encounters adversaries on his first mission. Ishmael and his squad plan a sneak attack on the rebel forces, while in the crossfire Ishmael explains he “lay there with my gun pointed in front of me unable to shoot. My index finger had become numb” (117). Ishmael struggles to fire his weapon, having experienced no fighting before hand, he is paralyzed with fear at the situation he finds himself in. This struggle to kill his adversaries is made easier however, when Ishmael sees his friends dead. Ishmael is terrified as bullets zip around him, when suddenly his “eyes caught Musa, whose head head was covered with blood...I raised my gun and pulled the trigger, and I killed a man” (118-119) . seeing the body of his friend gave Ishmael the adrenaline rush he needed to defeat his foes and kill. This trend continues, until Ishmael has witnessed so much violence it no longer phases him. Early on during a flashback Ishmael recalls an instance where he encountered another squad of child soldiers and he “opened fire until the last living being in the other group fell to the ground. We walked toward the dead bodies, giving each other high fives” (19). Ishmael’s transformation into a child soldier is completed in this excerpt. Ishmael has seen (and caused) so much violence and blood, he kills without even the slightest remorse, and even feels joy because of it. Through Ishmael’s traumatic journey, he experiences many acts of violence, both as a witness and as a participant. Every new atrocity numbs and desensitizes Ishmael, making it easier for him to participate in these violent occurrences, thus continuing the horrific cycle. Through seeing his friends die, Ishmael becomes able to kill others, eventually slaughtering without care, and even going so far as to enjoy the act.
Violence, witnessing, experiencing, or even causing it, can cause a person to become desensitized to it. The more violence a person experiences, the easier it becomes to handle. In his memoir A Long Way Gone, author Ishmael Beah draws parallels between witnessing violence and becoming desensitized to it. Graphic instances in Ishmael’s life such as witnessing his friends die causes him to become desensitized to violence, from just barely being able to kill enemy soldiers due to adrenaline, to thoughtlessly slaughtering anything in his path. When Ishmael first encounters government soldiers, he sees a horrific scene. While on a boat after being picked up by soldiers Ishmael’s “eyes caught
the smashed head of another man. Something inside his brain was still pulsating and he was breathing. [he] felt nauseated. One of the soldiers was looking at [him]...’You will get used to it, everybody does eventually,’” (100). Ishmael witnesses a mutilated man, and having little experience with such graphic scenes so close, he feels sick. This contradicts the soldier near him, who “smiles” and is not phased by the dying man. This contradiction between Ishmael's nausea and violence, and the soldier’s lack there of, foreshadows the later emotional state of Ishmael. When Ishmael initially joins the military, unlike the experienced soldier he met before joining, he is unable to kill enemy soldiers when his squad encounters adversaries on his first mission. Ishmael and his squad plan a sneak attack on the rebel forces, while in the crossfire Ishmael explains he “lay there with my gun pointed in front of me unable to shoot. My index finger had become numb” (117). Ishmael struggles to fire his weapon, having experienced no fighting before hand, he is paralyzed with fear at the situation he finds himself in. This struggle to kill his adversaries is made easier however, when Ishmael sees his friends dead. Ishmael is terrified as bullets zip around him, when suddenly his “eyes caught Musa, whose head head was covered with blood...I raised my gun and pulled the trigger, and I killed a man” (118-119) . seeing the body of his friend gave Ishmael the adrenaline rush he needed to defeat his foes and kill. This trend continues, until Ishmael has witnessed so much violence it no longer phases him. Early on during a flashback Ishmael recalls an instance where he encountered another squad of child soldiers and he “opened fire until the last living being in the other group fell to the ground. We walked toward the dead bodies, giving each other high fives” (19). Ishmael’s transformation into a child soldier is completed in this excerpt. Ishmael has seen (and caused) so much violence and blood, he kills without even the slightest remorse, and even feels joy because of it. Through Ishmael’s traumatic journey, he experiences many acts of violence, both as a witness and as a participant. Every new atrocity numbs and desensitizes Ishmael, making it easier for him to participate in these violent occurrences, thus continuing the horrific cycle. Through seeing his friends die, Ishmael becomes able to kill others, eventually slaughtering without care, and even going so far as to enjoy the act.