Divorce and Religion in Canada

Introduction
Facts about divorce in Canada
Divorce is defined as the legal termination of marriage. A divorce may be granted for one of the following reasons: * the marriage has irretrievably broken down, and the two parties have been living apart for at least one year. * one party has committed adultery and one spouse is not ready to forgive the other. * one party has been cruel to the other. Cruelty may include acts of physical violence and those causing severe mental anguish as to render intolerable the continued cohabitation of the spouses.
A person can apply for a divorce if: * one is legally married in Canada or in any other country; * one intends to separate permanently from his or her spouse and believe there is no chance of getting back together, or one has already left the spouse and does not intend to get back together; and * if either or both of persons have lived in a Canadian province or territory for at least one year immediately before applying for a divorce.
One does not have to be a Canadian citizen to apply for a divorce in Canada. To legally end a marriage, one needs a divorce, which is an order signed by a judge under the federal law called the Divorce Act. Divorce in Canada is therefore governed by the Divorce Act.
Under the Divorce Act, a person does not need to prove that one party or spouse was at fault in order to get a divorce in Canada. If the reason are for requesting a divorce is marriage breakdown shown by one year of separation, either party can request a divorce. It really does not matter who decided to leave. However, if the reason for a divorce application is not marriage breakdown but adultery or mental or physical cruelty, one will have to have proof and/or witnesses of what happened. (www.divorceincanada.ca/; www.divorceonline.ca/)
Why is this information important?
Knowledge is power and ignorance is no defence. It is important in this time and age for a person to be knowledgeable about issues that affect his or her life. Marriage is an important institution and a big step in the lives of people. It involves a life-time commitment. It is the basis of starting a family. The family is the nucleus of the human community, and family stability leads to social stability and progress. This is why divorce is painful and damaging to society in many aspects. Divorce does not cause marriage breakdown, unsatisfactory marriages do. Divorce in Canada is a legal act, a process of disengagement, a social act of individual redefinition and a social institution. (McKie et al., 1983)
The Bible for instance is very clear about marriage. “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matt. 19:5-6.
In God 's plan for marriage, holy matrimony is considered an intimate union in which the spouses give themselves, as equal persons, completely and lovingly to one another. The Roman Catholic Church teaches that marriage is both a natural institution and a sacred union because it is rooted in the divine plan for creation. Islam considers marriage a covenant settled on mutual agreement and understanding between a man and a woman. Marriage in Islam differs from positive law in that the latter robs the marriage contract of its religious significance, while the Shariiah law (God’s law) considers marriage a basic question of religion in that it derives its rules from the core of religion and that religion urges on it. The purposes of a muslim marriage are; 1. To restrain sexual passion. 2. The ordering of domestic life. 3. The care and responsibility towards children. 4. The expansion of the family. Actually, traditional Islam allows men the institution of tetragamy, meaning that a Muslim man can have up to four wives. Marriage is seen from a different perspective than in Judaism and Catholicism. (www.religioustolerance.org/mohd.htm)Judaism traditionally considers marriage to be the ideal state of personal existence since a man without a wife, or a woman without a husband, is considered incomplete. Civil marriage does not exist in Israel, and the only institutionalized form of Jewish marriage is the religious one, that is a marriage conducted under the auspices of the rabbinate. How they do the Jewish people respect the marriage laws in Canada? It is important to note that a civil divorce is not sufficient to dissolve a Jewish marriage. Historically, divorce has been the prerogative of the husband only, although the Talmud established several circumstances under which a husband could be compelled to divorce his wife: if the marriage was childless after ten years; if the husband refused to have sex with his wife; if the husband beat his wife; or if the husband contracted a "loathsome" disease. Around the year 1000 CE, rabbinical law stated that a wife could not be divorced without her consent. (www.religionfacts.com/judaism/cycle/divorce). |
In Africa, marriage is an important step in a man’s life. A man without a wife is like a vase with no flowers is an African proverb emphasizing the importance of marriage. Three times the Bible has said "For this reason a man shall leave his family and be united to his wife and they shall become one therefore, what God has joined together let no man put asunder." Jesus was very clear about this in Mathew 19 as seen above. Marriage is a good thing and statistics have supported that, "people who have good marriages live a good life. (www.answers.com/topic/african-religions)
Purpose of this paper
The purpose of this paper is to critically look at the issue of divorce in Canada from a legal and religious perspective. The discussion will be guided by Christian, Judaism and Islamic views in relation to the legality of divorce. I am especially interested in looking at the role of the Church today in educating young people (Canadians) on the importance of marriage and the need to safe-guard it. Various sources will be cited and counter-arguments presented. The position of the writer at the end will remain his personal view or opinion on what can be done to make society a better place with or without traditional marriages.
The introduction has clearly shown that the law in Canada and the religious writings (Bible and Koran), support the institution of marriage. However, the lack of equality between women and men even in issues of divorce is interesting. A Senegalese woman who wants to divorce her husband needs to go to court, if her husband does not agree, whereas Islamic law in Senegal allows a man to divorce, regardless of what his wife says. The diverse nature of Canadian society is bringing about these same issues. The conflict between the laws of the land and the religious laws are worthy looking at in relation to divorce in Canada.
Divorce is seen from a Christian perspective generally as less than ideal. Some see divorce as an unavoidable, but regrettable, part of life. Others believe that a divorce is never truly recognized by God and view it as universally wrong. In Roman Catholicism, the Church teaches that marriage is God 's doing: "God himself is the author of marriage," which is his way of showing love for those he created. Because a marriage is a divine institution it can never be broken, even if the partners are legally divorced: as long as they are both alive, the Church considers them bound together by God. This appears to be in conflict with the Judaic and Islamic way of thinking. It is a source of conflict amongst Canadian couples with mixed religious unions and backgrounds. In Islam, divorce is treated as less than a traumatic event, while Early Christians saw divorce as an undesirable behavior. (Sev’er,1992)
When a man knows a woman can take action against him, he 'll be obliged to respect her more and not abuse her. The laws in Canada are meant to protect the women and children from a male dominated world. For instance, just this past week, a Nigerian religious leader with 86 wives has accepted an Islamic decree ordering him to divorce all but four of them. The man argued that he broke no law. "I have not contravened any established law that would warrant my being banished from the land... There is no law that says one must not marry more than four wives, the man said. This former teacher and Islamic preacher, lives in Niger State, Nigeria, with his wives and at least 170 children. Is it fair for the women and children that a religious law is punishing them?
Judaism generally maintains that it is better for a couple to divorce than to remain together in a state of constant bitterness and strife. Under Jewish law, a man can divorce a woman for any reason or no reason. The Talmud specifically says that a man can divorce a woman because she spoiled his dinner or simply because he finds another woman more attractive, and the woman 's consent to the divorce is not required. Under Jewish law, divorce can only be initiated by the man so, if the husband cannot be found, he cannot be compelled to divorce the wife and she cannot marry another man. According to the Talmud, only the husband can initiate a divorce, and the wife cannot prevent him from divorcing her. Does religion protect women from male abuse then? Women seem to have very little say on matters concerning marriage and divorce in Judaism, Islam, African traditional religion, and Catholicism. Religion as a subjective dimension of people’s existence, has been effective in carving out norms, values and colouring laws of the country, which in turn apply to many aspects of people’s experiences. (Sev’er, 1992)
Responsibility and accountability
Canadians or people in general should not enter marriage saying, "If things don 't work out I can always get a divorce." Divorce should not be a factor in the decision to get married. Marriage is forever. There is no Plan B. However as noted above, the Divorce Act in Canada has specific reasons why one should divorce and Judaism agrees that it is better for a couple to divorce than to remain in a troubled or abusive relationship.
I agree that divorce is painful for all involved, but it is the right choice when remaining in an unhealthy relationship will only cause more damage, suffering and heartache. Children suffer psychological and emotional trauma of seeing their parents fight and destroy each other. Divorce may sometimes lead to happiness, and true love and contentment may come after the dissolution of an abusive and degrading relationship. It is a painful process that should be used as a last option. It should only be considered after counseling and sincere efforts to change prove fruitless.
In Biblical law a husband has the right to divorce his wife, but a wife cannot initiate a divorce. A Jewish religious court can compel the husband to grant a divorce when there is a just case, such as when a husband refuses to have marital relations, when he does not provide adequately for her support, when he is unfaithful, when he is a wife-beater, or when he has a loathsome disease, such as leprosy or AIDS. This means that men are expected by society to be responsible and accountable. This is why a decision to marry should not be taken lightly. In the same light, a decision to divorce should not be hasty and thoughtless in spite of the emotions involved. A Jewish divorce usually takes an hour or two, during which time the get [a Hebrew word for divorce document] is prepared and executed. It is based on the statement in Deuteronomy (24:1), which states that when a man wants to divorce his wife, "then let him write her a bill of divorcement." It seems to me that this process is rushed and does not give the woman time to negotiate or express her objection to the divorce.
The role of the Church
In a Catholic marriage, a couple must spend time with the priest to talk about the sanctity of marriage and their role within the church in preparation for their life together before they can get married. These marriage preparations are known generally as pre-Cana. It is an educational and maturing process for married life. Pre-Cana can take place over six months or an intensive weekend course and is mandatory for Catholics wishing to get married. In these preparatory sessions, questions concerning family and children, money issues, lifestyle choices and religion matters are asked and clarified. This is a major contribution of the Church in ensuring that couples are well aware of what they are getting into. Many other religious groups (Islamic and Jewish, Hindu or Christian) should emulate this model and use it. Divorce is debilitating, costly, and avoidable.
Many Christians believe that God 's views on divorce are most clearly articulated in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9:
“ But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery" (Matthew 5: 32) and, “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matthew 19: 9). The responsibility of many who wish to marry is very clearly stated in the divine books. God, Allah, and Yaweh have given mankind divine instructions on how to relate with each other and why.
Divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage contract. Marriage sometimes has a legal and a religious component. Divorce ends the legal contract. Some religions require the married partners to have a religious divorce if the individuals wish to continue their religious practice. For instance, practicing Jews must get both a legal divorce, to satisfy secular authorities, and a get, or religious divorce, to satisfy religious practice.
Divorce and societal challenges
Divorce is painful. Its effects are debilitating and adversely felt. According to many contemporary theorists, divorce can have long lasting negative effects on children (Amato et al., 2001; Ross, 1993, Mirowski et al., 1990) such as lower levels of academic achievement and delay in social maturation. Unfortunately, many children today are also faced with the challenges of multiple divorces or separations within their families. Many parents divorce and remarry. Ross (1993) found that individuals who had experienced divorce as a child were significantly more likely to marry young, divorce, remarry, and experience long-term difficulty with interpersonal relationships. They also found significant evidence of a trend towards lower education levels, lower socioeconomic status, and higher levels of depression amongst adult children of divorced parents.
The impact of divorce in Canada is serious as research studies above have shown. Children are the leaders of tomorrow and stable, functional homes are the foundation of a stable and productive society.
Is there a solution?
Divorce will never be easy for the families involved. There will always be pain and hurt, court time, custody battles, and many other conflicts associated with divorce. Better family and social support can help buffer the negative effects of divorce on the children of tomorrow. Television programs such as ‘Dr. Phil’ and ‘Oprah’ are promoting the concept of “working it out”. Family therapies and couples therapies are becoming more common, this may help to make home life before separation better and the separation itself easier on children in the future.
It is my view that the Church and State should work together to prevent the increasing divorce rates in Canada. The marriage is an important component of society. Many broken homes are a liability to society and problems facing the youth today can be attributed to the breakdown of families due to divorce. I also support the view by the Jewish faith, that it is better to divorce than live in an abusive, unfulfilling relationship. Children in such relationships face more trauma and oppression than children in divorced families.
Churches are not doing enough while the Government provides limited support to divorcing parents in Canada. This has to change so that the Canadian society can have stable homes and better future for children from such marriages. Conclusion | |
Divorce is a right of passage away from an unhappy marriage. It is quite clear in my head that bad marriages are a major problem in our society and should be labeled as such. I believe that individuals, whether adults or children, would be better off without unhappy, abusive, and unsupportive marriages. Problems of divorce are related to the problems of social inequality, whether economic or sexual. It is true that divorce brings many sorrows and difficulties, but at the same time it allows for reconstruction, and in the long-run solves more problems than it creates.
I do advocate for divorce in Canada because it is often the only way to solve the problem of a bad marriage. Letting go of your marriage, especially if it is no longer good for you, is the most successful thing that you have ever done. Getting a divorce can be a positive, problem solving, growth-oriented step. It can be a personal triumph. (Sev’er, 1992). Why stay in an abusive, unsatisfying marriage when there is an alternative available? I say no. Religious organizations say no. The government says no. Canadians should remember that divorce does not cause marriage breakdown, unsatisfactory marriages do.

Bibliography 1. Anne-Marie, A. (1980). Divorce in Canada. Toronto. Academic Press Canada. 2. Amato R. and Bruce, K. 1991. "Parental Divorce and the Well-Being of Children: A Meta-Analysis", Psychological Bulletin, 110 (1): 26-53. 3. Finnie, Ross. “Women, Men and the Economic Consequences of Divorce. 1993.” Canadian Review of Sociology and Anthropology, 30 (2):205-41 4. McKie, D, Prentice, B & Reed, P. (1983). Divorce: Law and the Family in Canada. Ottawa: Statistics Canada. 5. Mirowski J, Ross, C & Goldstein, K. (1990). The impact of the family on health: the decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, vol. 52, pp. 1059-1078. 6. Sev’er, A. (1992). Women and Divorce in Canada: A Sociological Analysis. Toronto: Canada Scholars Press Inc.

Bibliography: 1. Anne-Marie, A. (1980). Divorce in Canada. Toronto. Academic Press Canada. 2. Amato R. and Bruce, K. 1991. "Parental Divorce and the Well-Being of Children: A Meta-Analysis", Psychological Bulletin, 110 (1): 26-53. 3. Finnie, Ross. “Women, Men and the Economic Consequences of Divorce. 1993.” Canadian Review of Sociology and Anthropology, 30 (2):205-41 4. McKie, D, Prentice, B & Reed, P. (1983). Divorce: Law and the Family in Canada. Ottawa: Statistics Canada. 5. Mirowski J, Ross, C & Goldstein, K. (1990). The impact of the family on health: the decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, vol. 52, pp. 1059-1078. 6. Sev’er, A. (1992). Women and Divorce in Canada: A Sociological Analysis. Toronto: Canada Scholars Press Inc.