Divorce: Marriage and Problems

What is divorce? Why did mom and dad get one, as so many have wondered? Divorce is the legal and final dissolution of a marriage. Common problems that lead to divorce are: couples grow apart; one partner feels unloved by the other, feeling unappreciated, finances, miscommunication, and violence. (At Issue: “Divorce”) Facts, yes marriage vows usually include the phrase, “till death do us part”, about half of all first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. That’s fifty percent! (Divorce: Current Issues, 2010) Who are more or less likely for divorce? Older couples are less likely. Less educated will have money, more likely problems. Living with spouses before marriage is more likely. (Trends of Divorce: Factors of Divorce”)

In the seventeenth century, Puritans decided marriage was a civil contract that could be broken under certain circumstances, such as. adultery, cruelty, and long absence. (At Issue: “Long Divorce”) In the eighteen hundreds, almost all states enacted divorce laws and additional grounds were granted. (Trends on Divorce: “Divorce in America”). In the nineteen hundreds, over fifty-five thousand marriages ended in divorce. Why is this happening?
Researchers have analyzed the percent of age group married in 1960 and 2010. From ages eighteen through twenty–four, 45% married in 1960. And in 2010 only nine percent married. Next in ages twenty-five through thirty-four, in 1960, eighty two percent married whereas44% married in 2010. Following ages thirty-four through forty-four in nineteen sixty, eighty –six percent married, but in two-thousand ten sixty-two percent married. Last but not least forty-five and older, in nineteen sixty, seventy percent married. Whereas, sixty one percent married in two-thousand ten. http://seniorjournal.com/Features.htm United State compared to the rest of the world had the biggest divorce rate than marriage in nineteen eighty-eight.http://ww2.ed.gov/pubs/YouthIndicators/Demographics.html “Effects On Parent” Almost all divorced couples experience some of the following emotional distress. Anxiety, fear, anger during and after divorce (Consequences of Divorce:”Effects on Divorced Couples”). Habits of parents after divorce include: overeating, smoking, increased drinking, sleeplessness, nervousness. All of the above can lead to loss of friendships and increased isolation and loneliness. All common up to two years after the divorce. (A Kids Guide to Divorce). “Facts of the Effects on Children”
Young people whose parents are divorced are more likely to leave home earlier because of family difficulties. Also, boys tend to suffer greater emotional and psychological problems following a divorce than girls do. (Consequences of Divorce: Effects on Children”) Effects on the kids of a divorce include low self-esteem, problems with relationships(trust issues), feeling like they’re the problem, depression, difficulty coping with issues between parents, relocation between parents for certain periods of time, and being the “reporters and “messengers” between parents at visits. Problems in kids and teens resulting from bad handling of divorce from parents and kids include sleep problems, poor concentration, trouble at school, drug or alcohol abuse, self-injury and cutting, eating disorders, and frequently angry or violent outbursts.
Have you ever seen the movie “The Parent Trap”? Where the twin sisters played by Lindsey Lohan switch places, and get their parents back together after a divorce. We’ll, I’m here to tell you life doesn’t work like the movies. You won’t be able to change your parent’s mind about the divorce. You can’t fix your parent’s divorce. Acting differently to get your parent’s to work together won’t make the divorce go away (A Kid’s Guide to Divorce: Kids Can’t Fix Divorce”) “It’s not your fault” Have you ever felt like it was?
How can kids and parent work together through a divorce? One, parents leaving the kids out of marital problems. Secondly, talking together in a visiting schedule (if not already set in custody claims). Agreeing to work things out and communicate. Lastly, family counseling with both parents.
How can parents try to fix things before the mention of divorce comes up? One example is marriage counseling. Secondly, improve communication skills. Take time to discuss the problems and come up with a comparable solution for both people. Thirdly, desire nothing can get done or overcome if one or both people in the relationship don’t want it to work, or don’t try to make it better.
For most, marriage and divorce are common experiences. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home and protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems.
What you should know as of today? For those of you who suffer from a divorce family, and whether your situation is good or a bit harder than others, please remembers you’re NOT alone