Do Rewards Or Punishment Work For Your Kids?

Do Rewards Or Punishment Work for Your Kids?

A common question often asked by parents and educators is” Do rewards or punishment work? Most child experts are cutely aware that punishments are often counterproductive in helping children succeed at home and at school. According to reward and punishment expert, Alphie Kohn, on the topic: Do Rewards or Punishments Work?, Kohn research finds that making children suffer to alter their behavior can often elicit temporary compliance, but this strategy is unlikely to help them become ethical, compassionate decision makers. Kohn further asserts that punishment, even if referred to as “consequences,” tends to generate anger, defiance, and a desire for revenge.

Rewards, the opposite of punishment, can be just as harmful to children. Kohn’s research in this area found that temporary rewards, or” carrots,” most often turn out to be no more effective than punishment or threats. Some psychologist have referred to rewards and punishment as “extrinsic” motivators, because they are inducements outside of the task itself.

In his thesis and research study on, The Effects of Externally Mediated Rewards on Intrinsically Motivated Middle School Students, author Scott Wardell, found that “when intrinsically motivated middle school students are provided external rewards for completing a task, the intrinsic motivation for completing the task decreases.” In short, when a students receives a reward contingent on their performance, the subject, in time, become less intrinsically motivated.

What Can Parent Use In Place of Punishment and Rewards

Building a relationship with a child (over time) by talking and spending time with a child by discussing the behavior that you desire, is a more effective strategy. Extrinsic motivation (motivation built from within) come from confidence and success. A great parenting technique is to help the child build motivation through positive experiences.
Rewards may be used when they are “built in” to a child’s day. A parent who request a child’s assistance in completing a task may say, “Let’s you and I go get an ice cream cone when we finish cleaning up your room.” This statement does not come off as a command or a bribe, but a statement of purpose and positive reinforcement of relationship building.
When a child mistakenly, or purposely does something wrong, discuss and listen to why the child made the poor choice/decision to act inappropriately. Ask the child, “How can you fix this?” If a consequence needs to be given, ask the child, “what do you think needs to happen now so this does not happen again?”