Double Indemoralization Of Criminality Thesis

In these six weeks of writing class, I basically knew what is noir genre about and why noir applies to people’s inward world in the Great Depression era. The first paper I wrote to respond the prompt was about the connections and relations between noir and “the audiences of the time tends to associate themselves with the outlaws more than a decent citizen owing to the large romanticizing of criminality”.(my thesis in first essay) For this thesis, my focusing point should have been on “romanticizing of criminality”, but in my first and second draft of this essay, I messed up with the thesis with no explanations and reasons in all my paragraphs. I did not relate the crime happened in either the book Double Indemnity or the story “Red Wind” to
“romanticizing of criminality”. Therefore, in the final draft, I added and edited an analysis to introduce how the anti-hero Dalmas in the story “Red Wind” done his crime and investigation romantically. In my view, why the crime is romantic in most of the noir fictions is because one of the most important elements in the noir which is femme fatale always causing the anti-hero in the noir fiction done the crime with romantic. Killing people for the femme fatale who always have attractive appearance. She could be an innocent damsel or a evil queen. Both kinds of femme fatale cause the crime. After fixed my thesis and analysis, I started to work on the changes that my peers gave suggestions to me. From my peer review, I can learn that excluding some grammar mistakes which related to tenses I need to rearrange the paragraphs. For example, my peers thought that I should put the background section(the introduction of the Great Depression) before I write the passages that relate to the Great Depression.
They said if I put background section afterwards it will confuse my audience because the idea is jumping back and forth. After I reread my own essay, I thought what they said is right and I should follow their suggestions because even myself is getting confused after reading the body paragraph start with “protagonist of the “Red Wind is detective Dalmas…” I did not introduce when and why did the noir genre starts popular among the people. Therefore, I add the paragraph about noir’s historic culture before I jump to analysis the noir work from Raymond Chandler. Moreover, in the first draft of my rhetoric analysis, I was getting off the thesis I cleared in my introduction, so for improving my analysis I cancelled the whole paragraph which is talking about noir film and Hollywood. Lastly, I deleted a whole paragraph which is originally appeared in my first draft as a supportive argument to the thesis but with too much useless plot summary. To improve it, I expand the part of introducing the second kind of femme fatale evil queen by using some plot to explain how she uses her power and glamour to finish the crime.
I did use plot summary but in the place where need to be put and give support to the thesis. Overall, in these six weeks, I learned two important things about writing a rhetoric analysis. First, staying with the thesis which is cleared in the introduction in order to help audience know the author’s aim. Second, I learned where to insert the plot summary in an analysis. Details are important when summarizing the scene, however, unneeded plot summary is not helping audience to stay with the author’s idea.