Downplay My Accomplishments

One of my dilemmas is that I often downplay my accomplishments because others are better than me. This comes from a form of modesty that slowly became a weapon over the years. Part of this definitely stems from our societal values; it has taken me over a decade to realize that being proud of my accomplishments is not the same as bragging. One way that I’ve overcome this problem is by getting better at accepting compliments. If someone compliments me, I used to just protest and state that it isn’t true. However, I realized that all this does is undermine the compliment and make the giver feel bad. Rejecting compliments, for me, only leads to low-self esteem. An example of how downplaying my accomplishments negatively affects me is writing.
I’ve only ever finished writing one book in my whole life. It is horrible. However, while I was writing it, I didn’t realize that my writing was terrible. I ended up writing over 90,000 words in four months. Afterwards, I had a crippling fear of writing because everything I wrote was horrible. To this day, I have never finished another book. When I downplay my accomplishments, all it does is make me feel bad about myself and what I produce. Instead, I try now to be proud that I wrote an entire book, even though the writing could use some work. Downplaying my accomplishments from a mistaken form of modesty does nothing but harm my self-worth. This is a problem that has plagued me throughout my life and one I am still attempting to overcome. While bragging may be a societal taboo, I’d rather be self-absorbed than hate everything I create.