Dr Fay Letters Monologue

OVERALL IMPRESSION: It is a really well crafted story that grabs my attention from beginning all the way to the end. You don’t give any time for the “viewers” to be bored as we are thrown right into the thick of things from the get go, first the surgery of Freeman and a few scenes after she’s in the war. I also believe that you created a living breathing world of the war, or more specifically the hospital in the war. The way the injured soldiers react to Dr. Murdoch all contribute to the feeling of the world. You could maybe possibly cut to what’s going on in the actual war, and show how the soldiers get injured? I think that will add just another level to this already brilliant story, but not really necessary.
COMMENTS: I feel that in act one there should be “more” in terms of showing Dr. Murdoch’s “ordinary world”. We get that she’s a doctor and this hospital is clean and whatever, but why should we feel sorry for her when she’s gets drafted to war. It can’t possibly be because she’s only a woman? Maybe could be leaving her family behind? Just add something emotional so that when she gets drafted we feel for her.
Murdoch in act one feels like an open-ended piece of the story. What exactly is that “delayed letter”? Is it a delayed birthday card? Or is it a letter requesting Dr. Murdoch to go to war? Just be more specific.
When Payton Mackenzie comes to take Dr. Murdoch to war. I don’t believe that he wouldn’t know she’s a female or even wouldn’t know what she looks like for that matter. The reason I say this is that if this was the case, if Dr. Murdoch didn’t really want to go to war she could convince someone to pose as her for all Mackenzie