ENG/157: Arranged Marriages
Arranged Marriages
Audrella Logan
ENG/157
January 21, 2013
Dr. Jan Prewitt
Arranged Marriages
We were 12 in Mrs. White’s six grade class. We had so much in common, we were the only brown skinned among a sea of white skinned, blonde hair, and blue eyes. We were at the top of the class with straight A’s, and we shared an unspoken familiarity that neither of us understood, but accepted. She was my “bestie” and I her “bosom buddy”, and we shared our worlds, ideas, thoughts, and aspirations.
The environment in Mrs. White’s six grade class increased our bond and created a common experience I will always remember. We were the only culturally different people our other classmates knew. To the other classmates, we were different and new, …show more content…
much like a toy after Christmas that would grow old. To one another we were comrades representing diversity.
Our cultures could not be more different, she came to America when she was 3, and although she vaguely remembered India her parents were determined to keep their Indian Culture and ways.
I was born in America, but lived in a subculture and occasionally felt as though I too was visiting or passing through. My Mother taught me the importance of the struggle our people endured to guarantee the freedoms I enjoy. The history of Black America is a validation of my existence, and even as a young girl I cherished it. However, we shared a common bond; we both wanted happiness, peace, success, and love.
We would talk for hours sharing our dreams and plans for the future. We had visions, aspirations, and dreams. We were bound for college and would form successful careers. She would become the doctor who would discover the cure for cancer, and I the businesswoman who would solve world hunger. We worked as hard as two six graders could to ensure a successful future.
We had it planned; college, careers, lifestyles, and yes, love. Love, the one dream we did not share. I remember the conversation as we strolled along our normal path. I detailed my plans for my future love. My “knight in shining armor” story and explained how he would arrive, and we would have a magical connection. He would love me completely and together we would ride off into the …show more content…
sunset.
She looked at me with a slight grin and told me that could not be like that for her.
She told me that her parents had arranged her marriage. She looked sad. I felt sad for her and perplexed that at 12 her future love was arranged. It lacked passion, magic, and love. We never discussed love again. We continued to work hard and be comrades of diversity in Mrs. White’s sixth grade class. She was my “bestie” and I her “bosom buddy” until my family moved, and we lost touch.
I never forgot my “bestie,” Anu Gaudua, and the unexplainable bound we shared. I never forgot the sadness we shared and I saw on her face when she told me about their family’s culture, arranged marriages. At 12 with mystical ideas of love and marriage, I could not imagine marrying someone I did not know and had no connection. It seemed strange and different to me. It was not my magical plans and idea of love.
Years passed before I would reflect on that conversation. Situations and circumstances had altered my “knight in shining armor” ideas. At the time, I found myself battling cynicism. After discovering that knights do not exist, experiencing a broken heart, and surviving a failed marriage I reflected on the conversation I had with my “bestie and thought about the
differences.
I recalled how shocked I was to learn we did not share the same ideas about love, and she was not going to discover love on her own course. I smiled to myself and wondered if her way was better. I questioned how detrimental could it be for parents to choose a child’s life partner? Ideally, parents know their children best, and likewise they have the best interest at heart. Who better suited to choose a person that holds the same values, ideas, goals, and directions than someone’s parents?
It has been several years since I was 12 viewing life with rose colored glasses, magical dreams, and mystical expectations; and a long time since I have spoken with my “bestie.” I often wonder how she is doing in life and what part of her dreams became reality. If we were to speak, I imagine our conversation would be very different, less mystical, and more practical. I am sure life lessons has taught us that much. I am more understanding of her culture’s tradition, arranged marriages. Perhaps I would comment that the concept is not that bad.
Audrella Logan
ENG/157
January 21, 2013
Dr. Jan Prewitt
Arranged Marriages
We were 12 in Mrs. White’s six grade class. We had so much in common, we were the only brown skinned among a sea of white skinned, blonde hair, and blue eyes. We were at the top of the class with straight A’s, and we shared an unspoken familiarity that neither of us understood, but accepted. She was my “bestie” and I her “bosom buddy”, and we shared our worlds, ideas, thoughts, and aspirations.
The environment in Mrs. White’s six grade class increased our bond and created a common experience I will always remember. We were the only culturally different people our other classmates knew. To the other classmates, we were different and new, …show more content…
much like a toy after Christmas that would grow old. To one another we were comrades representing diversity.
Our cultures could not be more different, she came to America when she was 3, and although she vaguely remembered India her parents were determined to keep their Indian Culture and ways.
I was born in America, but lived in a subculture and occasionally felt as though I too was visiting or passing through. My Mother taught me the importance of the struggle our people endured to guarantee the freedoms I enjoy. The history of Black America is a validation of my existence, and even as a young girl I cherished it. However, we shared a common bond; we both wanted happiness, peace, success, and love.
We would talk for hours sharing our dreams and plans for the future. We had visions, aspirations, and dreams. We were bound for college and would form successful careers. She would become the doctor who would discover the cure for cancer, and I the businesswoman who would solve world hunger. We worked as hard as two six graders could to ensure a successful future.
We had it planned; college, careers, lifestyles, and yes, love. Love, the one dream we did not share. I remember the conversation as we strolled along our normal path. I detailed my plans for my future love. My “knight in shining armor” story and explained how he would arrive, and we would have a magical connection. He would love me completely and together we would ride off into the …show more content…
sunset.
She looked at me with a slight grin and told me that could not be like that for her.
She told me that her parents had arranged her marriage. She looked sad. I felt sad for her and perplexed that at 12 her future love was arranged. It lacked passion, magic, and love. We never discussed love again. We continued to work hard and be comrades of diversity in Mrs. White’s sixth grade class. She was my “bestie” and I her “bosom buddy” until my family moved, and we lost touch.
I never forgot my “bestie,” Anu Gaudua, and the unexplainable bound we shared. I never forgot the sadness we shared and I saw on her face when she told me about their family’s culture, arranged marriages. At 12 with mystical ideas of love and marriage, I could not imagine marrying someone I did not know and had no connection. It seemed strange and different to me. It was not my magical plans and idea of love.
Years passed before I would reflect on that conversation. Situations and circumstances had altered my “knight in shining armor” ideas. At the time, I found myself battling cynicism. After discovering that knights do not exist, experiencing a broken heart, and surviving a failed marriage I reflected on the conversation I had with my “bestie and thought about the
differences.
I recalled how shocked I was to learn we did not share the same ideas about love, and she was not going to discover love on her own course. I smiled to myself and wondered if her way was better. I questioned how detrimental could it be for parents to choose a child’s life partner? Ideally, parents know their children best, and likewise they have the best interest at heart. Who better suited to choose a person that holds the same values, ideas, goals, and directions than someone’s parents?
It has been several years since I was 12 viewing life with rose colored glasses, magical dreams, and mystical expectations; and a long time since I have spoken with my “bestie.” I often wonder how she is doing in life and what part of her dreams became reality. If we were to speak, I imagine our conversation would be very different, less mystical, and more practical. I am sure life lessons has taught us that much. I am more understanding of her culture’s tradition, arranged marriages. Perhaps I would comment that the concept is not that bad.