It is well known that a parent with a drug or alcohol problem can have a negative effect on their family members. You could say that the person with the problem is like someone stuck in a bog. The other family members, in their efforts to help, often get pulled down into the bog too. The first step in putting things right is when the others start to get their own feet on solid ground. Only after they have done this will they be able to help tackle the addiction problem.
How a partner with a drug or alcohol problem affects the other partner
It is not easy to live with a person whose drinking or drug use is causing problems. The drinker or drug user is often full of conflict, torn between wanting their drug or alcohol and not wanting the harm that always seems to follow. They often blame others when things go wrong. The partner or spouse of the addict or alcoholic often doubts himself or herself: Am I not a good enough partner? How can I get them to stop taking that drug? How can I protect my children? How can I hide this from my family and neighbors?
The partner often feels hurt, ashamed, afraid, and has an overwhelming sense of failure. Unfortunately, many partners then work even harder to ‘fix’ the situation, taking on extra responsibilities, trying to cover up the mess… fighting a losing battle.
If you are that partner, the first step towards putting things right is to take some time for yourself, and get the support you need. A good friend or a counselor can be a great help.
How a parent 's addiction may affect their son or daughter The son or daughter of a parent abusing alcohol or drugs can also end up bogged down. They often adopt a role which helps the family, but they may get stuck in the role and neglect their own needs.
The Family Hero This is often the eldest in the family. This person is responsible, works hard for approval, and often appears successful. But