Examples Of Verbal Grabbinging

Something we want to avoid is something I call “verbal flinching”. Verbal flinching is saying the first thing that comes to your mind when faced with some verbal resistance from the client. This verbal flinching may make us feel better about ourselves, but does not help our verbal de-escalation attempts. So, when dealing with an emotionally charged person we really need to choose our words carefully. Everyone has a natural “flinching” mechanism. For example if you were getting ready to hit something head on with your car, you often times place your hands up in front of your face. Another example of natural flinching is someone was to throw a punch at you and you did see it coming until the last second. We train you in defensive tactics
In order to do this we have to be able to absorb some verbal resistance from our client’s. This verbal resistance could be everyday minor resistance. However, it could also be from an escalated individual and be considered major. If you have to, think of yourself as that paper towel that does not tear. We all remember those commercials that demonstrated how one paper towel could absorb a liquid and still not tear. While the other brand in the commercial would tear from the liquid. We have to be able to be calm and absorb some verbal resistance in our positions of authority, but we cannot crack/tear or we may not be able to achieve our goal of cooperation. The same thing happens to me in a Judo match. You are not always on the attack, a lot of time you have to go on the defensive and physically manipulate your opponent so you can put yourself in an advantageous position. Instead of resisting the attack of your opponent you also have to be able to absorb the attack as well. If you think you will be able to dominate every situation whether as an authority figure or a judo competitor you will be very surprised when this does not happen and you have not prepared for