Family Interview Essay

Growing up as a kid in Atlantic Beach, New York, I was raised just like any other typical American would be. I became accustom with all the same American customs, and values that most other people hold. Most of my friends growing up were American as well, so I never really knew about other cultures, or others ways of living aside from my own. It wasn’t until I became friends with an Asian American kid named Alex that I realized just how different some cultures are. As I grew older I became more familiar with his Asian culture, as well as his family customs and values. I interviewed him recently to ask him questions about his culture in order to gather information that I previously did not know. Furthermore, I researched two articles about his
culture in order to compare general Asian customs and values to his own. The information I found turned out to be very interesting, and I learned just how different his Asian culture is from my American culture. Through my interview of Alex, as well as my own personal observations, I was able to gather a lot of interesting information about his culture, family customs, and values. For example, growing up as a kid, he was taught to really value education, and to always do well in school. His parents never seemed to stress the importance of school enough, and they would make him study for at least two hours every night. Even if he didn’t have any homework or tests to study for, his parents would make him read ahead in the textbook, or do extra homework problems. According to (Social Science Quarterly, 2005), stressing the importance of education is very common among Asian American families. Alex’s parents were very strict as he was growing up, and he was rarely allowed to do many of the things I was accustomed to such as playing video games, or having sleepovers. If he ever got in trouble as a kid, or disobeyed his parents, his dad would beat him with a belt. As it is explained in (Merrill-Palmer quarterly, 2007) Asian American parents tend to generally strict, however not allowing video games or sleepovers seems to be two customs unique to Alex’s family. Alex’s family had many family customs and values which were different from my own. For example, being the first born son, Alex is the most important child in his family, and most of his parent’s attention is based around him. A lot is expected out of him as the first born son such as marrying a fellow Asian girl. In his interview he revealed that his father has repeatedly told him that he must marry a Korean girl, but Alex really does not want to. Another thing expected of him as the first born son is to take over the family operated business even though he does not want to. In the articles I researched, I came across a lot of evidence that these customs are common among Asian American families, and that the first born son is extremely important in their culture. Although Alex does not want to do many of the things expected of him, he says that he will definitely end up marrying a Korean girl, as well as taking over the family business.
This is because in his family, the most important value is respect, and out of respect for his family he will do what is asked of him. Even through my own personal experience I realized respect in Alex’s family was important. I knew this because I was never allowed to call his father by his first name, and I always had to call him Mr. Lee. Alex said that respect, especially for elders was the most important value in his family. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 2007 also agrees that respect for elders is one of the most important values in most Asian-American
families. After comparing my interview of Alex to the two articles I researched, I came across a couple of facts which I felt were unique to Alex’s family, and did not really follow traditional Asian American culture. For example, during the interview I found out that Alex had learned to speak Korean first, and he did not learn English until he was 5 years old. Alex’s way of learning both the Korean and English languages seems to be pretty uncommon among Asian American families. Usually, as Social Science Quarterly, 2005 states, a child will learn both languages simultaneously as they grow up. During my interview I also came across one custom which I found extremely interesting about Asian American culture.
Although this custom wasn’t mentioned in either of the articles I researched, supposedly it is an ancient Korean tradition which occurs on a child’s first birthday. Alex explained that the child is placed in front of a bunch of random items such as money, a pen, paper, a baseball, and many other things. The child than picks two items out of the group and it is believed that the items the child chooses will determine what they will become in life. It is an extremely important tradition in Alex’s family, and I thought it was very
interesting. In my opinion, the interview I conducted held many similarities to the articles I read. For example, of the two articles I read one was about parenting beliefs and values among Asian American families. While reading this article, I noticed many similarities to my interview information such as having respect for elders, and the importance of the first born son. The other article was about parenting styles and school importance in Asian American families. In this article I found similarities in regards to information about the importance for education, as well as the strict parenting style of Asian American parents. Overall I feel that Alex’s family culture is very similar to the general Asian culture that I researched. In today’s world, there are many different cultures that hold unique and special family values and beliefs. Each culture is different in one way or another, and I feel it is important for people to learn about these differences, and try to understand them in order to make our world a better place. After doing this project I have learned a great amount of information about the Asian culture which I previously did not know. The project has also inspired me to research other cultures different from my own just to get a better understanding for the vast amount of cultures we come into contact with every day. Overall I felt that this project was very interesting, and I am glad that I had the opportunity to do it.