Family Unhappiness

Brandon Carter
February 3rd
ENC1101: Paper One
Families & Many Roots to Unhappiness

Whether a model family including a father, mother, daughter living in a white picket fence home surrounded by carbon copies or two recently married women planning to adopt no family is flawless. Every individual family varies, there is no definition of perfect, all that matters is overall happiness. There are many things that contribute against this well-being such as, concealment, neglect, disagreement, antagonism, and finances. "The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep," said novelist E. W. Howe. Before a child becomes a teen parents fabricate authenticity, whether it is large, like a parent not choosing to tell them they are adopted, or small, where they tell them Santa Claus flies reindeer around the world overnight bringing them presents along the way. After that said child is grown they learn the trade of fiction this is damaging to their future. If they are raised on a foundation of falsehood they will lead a life deception. From the day their child is born a parents duties as a mentor begin, they may feed their child but kids need more than that; parents have obligations to be there for their children in times of need. Neglecting those obligations will lead to a kid with no sense of direction; during that abandonment a child may go to television for a source of alleviation, this will lead to more despair because they will see families that are happy but much different than theirs. For instance, in "Looking for Work," by Gary Soto, he watches a family act differently than his and strives to be equivalent. A paternal figures are absolutely needed in a minor's life, not necessarily the blood parents just someone that they can rely on for support while growing up. Disagreement is going to happen every day but the way a family deals with them shows if they are truly happy or unhappy. If you love something you won't let an argument ruin it all, the only exception is if that quarrel turns physical. Abuse is something that is completely illicit, you never put your hands on someone else. It becomes substantially worse if you beat a child, they are defenseless against someone who is far stronger and larger than them. Fighting is morally acceptable, it gives people a chance to blow off steam but it shouldn't continue on, because they rekindle relationships. According to Greg Godek, "Although fighting is never fun or nice when you're in the middle of it, the outcome can be positive. In the midst of a fight you're miserable. In a way, it's like exercising. Is working out always fun? No. But it deals with your weak spots." Overall, dispute can be can either make or break families depending of the lethality of the situation. Sibling relationships vary with age group, they can be very dynamic and very competitive. Some rivalry is healthy but it can become out of hand. For instance, older children may develop seniority and try to force unwanted duties onto younger siblings; this leads to unbalanced duties and the one giving those duties will develop a dependence on people doing things for them which will make transitioning into adulthood much more arduous. Rivalry, especially between siblings, will lead to other members of the household become involved, tying into the latter cause of unhappiness, disagreement. Income plays a oversized role in happiness, not only for families but for individuals world wide. Individuals or Families don't have to be opulent to be happy, they just have financial security. If the "bread winners" aren't making enough money, leading to their family living under means will create stress and anxiety. The quote, "Money can't buy you happiness," is only partially true; in our time governments have made it impossible to live without money. It generates the house we sleep in, the eat we eat, and the clothes on our back. Without constant revenue, happiness would be out of reach. Families are all different and happiness is the only constant that should remain through and though; although factors such as concealment, neglect, disagreement, antagonism, and finances go against that sanctity.