Farewell party and me

Farewell Party and Me
When I arrived to my workplace, there was no one in my department. Staring at an automatic-drilling with a blinking yellow light, I thought myself that how long had the machine been stopped. I put my lunch bag on a computer desk and sit on a chair to check an email whether there was an important message left for me by my supervisor during daytime.
While I was checking email my cell phone rang out suddenly. I was slightly frightened as it rang unexpectedly. Usually, at 8am and 8pm during a shift change our department was always noisy. Greeting each other, chit-chatting on the latest news they have from a workplace, some gave a message what to do or what have they done about their work our department was always noisy along with the sound of machines. But on that day, there was no one and it was so quiet strangely that I was frightened when my cell phone rang at a sudden. I picked up my phone and looked at the caller; he was no other than my supervisor.
“Hello!”
“Where are you?”
“I just arrived in my department. How come no one is in here Sir?”
“Come at once to canteen.”
“Alright!”
After he hung up the phone I ran to the canteen behind our factory quickly. And when I got there, I now understood that why no one was in the factory. Everyone was there except for me. I glared at.dainty dishes, containing potato chips, pastry and samosas and beverages on the table to be serve for and I said one word ‘Sorry!’ to all of them. At the mean time I blamed myself because it was not other than my forgetfulness. I horribly forgot that there would be a farewell party tonight for my four co-workers whose work permit expired and going to their home country. The worst thing was among that four persons, one was my close friend working together at the same department. He was also from Myanmar too. That’s why all people from my department were here at the canteen. I smiled with a shame and I took out my cell phone and started to take a photo. Thinking of myself that I will burn in a CD and gave to them a present as a refund to my late arrival. When the party started, others also took out their camera and take photos. The light from the cameras looked like blinking stars that reminded me Academy Award Giving Ceremony in Myanmar. Soon after that, each of them gave farewell speeches and said goodbye to everyone, and chitchatting with each other and the party came in life. As for me I took a picture in every post as much as I can Soon after the party was done I was thinking of myself that my feeling on that day’s party was very different from party I attended before. From the past five years to till now, I attended a lots of farewell party like that. Before that time, when I goes to a farewell party I had a feeling something like tinged with an air of melancholy and sadness. But now I feel nothing at all; happiness or sadness. I have a lot of friends who parted me as their contracted expired and go back home, failure of medical check up result and sent home though they don’t want to, some have an accident in work place and sent back home, some have problem in work place and sent back home that I cannot count for. Before they go home, they.had a party like that and I feel something in my mind that I cannot named. My Sadness and sympathy last for some days after they gone. But now, I have no such feeling at all. But I know that it is not because I hate them or I do not love them. We have worked together and stayed together for such a long time and I respect and love them all. but then why I have no feeling when they were parting? I asked myself but could not find the right answer. I thought of one answer to my question, but I cannot guarantee that it was true. For a lot of my friends have parted me I had felt so much that I cannot feel anymore or I have strength to feel. It may be or may not. But in my mind ,I ask myself that if someone have feels many times in something then could that feeling change someone mind into a numb mind that can fell any more.