Global Warming Satire

Global warming satirical essay

With countless hours of having scientists research global warming it is apparent that global warming is not a problem at all. In fact everybody needs to see the clear fact that global warming is helping humanity in many numerous ways. The environment warming up, the ocean levels rising, and the increase in carbon dioxide are all benefits to the environment, economy, and society in general.

As the world warms up people will not have to heat their house. This is beneficial in numerous aspects. Not only will this save homeowners and businesses money it will also use less natural gas, which can be saved for other things. Also, power plants will not have to produce as much electricity. This will reduce the amount of fossil fuels consumed by power plants, since the majority or power plants burn coal to produce electricity.

With the temperatures on the rise, the icebergs and polar ice caps will be melting. This is but a miraculous thing. For one the coastline will go inland a couple hundred miles. Thus people who have property along the new coast will have an increase in property value, due to their property now being beachfront property. Also fruits that thrive close to the coastline, such as citrus fruits, would flourish close to the new coastline, bringing fruits closer to other places and reducing the cost of shipping the fruits. This would reduce the amount of impoverished countries around the world. Not to mention, with no more icebergs or polar ice caps, naval passage with be much easier. Captains will not have to worry about running into any icebergs, and recreating another titanic experience.

As the carbon dioxide levels in the air increase, plant growth would also show an increase. Since plant growth will be on the rise the price on fruits and vegetables will decrease, also producing enough food to help end world hunger. With plant growth on the rise the plant industry will fully benefit. Everybody’s yard will flourish and look extravagant, relieving the stress of having to worry about how your yard looks, ultimately saving families thousands of money so that they don’t have to maintain their yard.

Global warming should be looked upon as a blessing rather than a burden. It is time for humankind to stop degrading global warming and start praising it. Global warming obviously has more positive outcomes than the negative ones. With property values increasing, plant growth increasing, food prices decreasing, and world hunger diminishing why would anyone complain about global warming? Who wouldn’t want global warming? It’s a magnificent event that we should all be looking forward to. (Especially 3-4 generations down the line. They’ll receive the most outcomes out of it. Lucky them.)