Grieving Interview Essay
Interview Question
1. A) NO talked about the need for someone to be physical with him and the feeling of being alone. He said that through this experience, learning to live alone was one of the hardest things for him. This has made his home life more challenging but he says he tries to stay busy with his hobbies so he doesn’t think about it as much. However, he has realized because of this that there could be a time where something could happens to him and no one would know because he lives alone. This worries him but he says that he always carries his cellphone and he has a neighbor that would check on him.
B) Emotionally, NO has struggled with all stages of grieving. He once struggled with very bad depression but knew that his wife would not want him to live like that. During this emotional battle, he recognized the need for a support group and turned toward a grieving class put on by a local church. During this time, he wrote a letter to his children about he emotional status, his grieving, and what he wanted …show more content…
from them to help support him through this time. His family was very supportive, encouraging him to talk about his emotions, and that helped him better manage his symptoms.
C) No says that he never lost hope in God, but he questions why God took his wife when she was so faithful and serving to him. He doesn’t understand the meaning behind this and doesn’t know if he ever will. He was very angry with God at times at that put a strain on his faith. The support group that he attended for grieving was religious based and it helpful to look at scripture on death and the resurrection. NO finds hope in the idea of one-day being reunited with his wife in heaven.
2. One of the biggest concerns presented to NO during this time of suffering was the legal issues that revolve around a death. He said that he spent so much time and money working with lawyers to get everything worked out with the estate and money that is was very overwhelming. He said it was very challenging because not only do you lose your loved one but then now you have to deal with legal documents and trying to prove ownership of items that you owned together. He said that he was thankful that financially he was stable but could see where that could be a problem for people based on the expenses that you don’t think about when someone dies.
3. NO described the best thing his family did for him was to just be there with him and support him with their love. Their presence alleviated some of the pain during his time of suffering. His children helped make funeral arraignments and that was something he was very thankful for. Their opinion on what his wife would have wanted was a blessing and it took away some of the stress. Also, one of the best things they did was bring him food when he didn’t feel like going grocery shopping. They did that for many weeks after his wife died and he said that was very comforting to know that they were looking out for him and his health during this difficult time.
4. NO said that he was so blessed from his family during this time that he can’t think of any support that was missing. One thing that he did say however was at the time of his wives death, his sister-in-law, which would have been his wives sister, was unable to make it to Oregon from Florida due to the weather. This meant that she also missed the funeral, which was very saddening for NO. He wishes that she could have been there for that experience but they later had a memorial just the two of them for his wife, which was very special.
5. NO finds hope in the idea that he will meet his wife again in heaven one day. He talked a lot about the stories of people who die and come back to live and tell people about what they saw while in heaven. He hopes that he will see his wife in heaven and that brings him great joy when he begins to feel the pain of her loss. He says he has not lost hope, however he has struggled with finding with the mystery of the after life and what happens when we die.
6. NO said the thing he learned about himself that stands out the most is how strong he is. He never knew how strong he could be until he felt his wife die and her final heart beat. He never pictured life without her and being that she was taken fairly suddenly it meant a lot of change for him. He knows that since he has gotten through this, he can face anything. He believes that he is a much strong person for dealing with the adversity of life.
Personal Reflection
1. The interview went well and was very rewarding. I think that our communication was easier and more fluent this session compared to the first. We spent a great deal of time talking about the vacation he went on just after our fist interview session from a month ago. He was very happy and excited to tell me about his travels. I think it made things easier that we had already had the initial interview and were more comfortable this time. We also spent more time in the beginning just talking about life rather than just jumping into questions.
2. Communication was easier this time compared to the first session. The first interview was more challenging due to having to build that initial trust with NO and it is hard to gauge the willingness for someone to open up about topics most people don’t ask about. Also, I knew more of what to expect form the second interview compared to the first because of the trust already established from that first interview that transferred over to this interview. Something that helped this interview too was using more therapeutic communication styles, such as asking, “could you tell me more about that,” or “and how did that make you feel.” This was something form the first interview that I realized I needed to work on so that I can foster a deeper conversation and let the client lead the direction.
3. At the end of my interview session, NO told me he didn’t think he taught me very much. I reassured him that this experience taught me more than I could have ever imagined. There was more than just conversations about suffering; there was talk of life, love, happiness, and growth. I think that the biggest thing I learned about suffering was that it doesn’t always have to be such a negative thing. In many ways one can suffer and walk away learning a lot about them, what they want to do with their life, how they want to live everyday, and the type of person they want to be. For NO, I never would have expected that through his grieving, he could be so happy. He showed me that although death may be a sad thing, reflection on the past and time you had with that person can be a very valuable and happy thing that can help with the grieving process for some people.
4. I observed a relationship grow through this interview process. In the beginning I would have described the relationship I had with NO more of an acquaintances but now I see him more as a friend. The trust that was built fostered a relationship that allowed for open communication between us that is very memorable. By the time the interview was over, we spent a great deal of time just talking as friends. He shared with me memories of he and his wife, the life he is now living without her, the traveling he is enjoying, and his plans for the future. This was very special to me and I think that our relationship will continue even after this. Now when I see him at church I will take the time to really say “hi” to him and ask how he is doing.
5. Faith can be something that fosters a sense of hope during a time of suffering. For NO, the idea of life after death and the hope of seeing his wife again some day in heaven brought him a sense of peace. If someone has faith in God, and is a religious person, drawing on that faith during a time of suffering can be very important. Even if not religious, someone’s spirituality, in whatever form they choose to express it, can be very important in helping during the suffering experience. I think during a time of suffering, asking someone about his or her spirituality can be an effective way to learn what will help them foster some type of hope.
6. The idea of just being present with someone during his or her suffering was something that I learned from this and that I hope I will remember to use in the future. NO talked so much about how his kids were there with him during a lot of his suffering and that was so important to him. He didn’t ask them to do so; they just knew that was what he needed. I think that is something to remember because people should not be alone during suffering. Even if it is just sitting in silence with them, that presence may be very comforting to them and ease some pain.
7.
The biggest thing that I learned about myself from this experience is that I look at the bad in a lot of situations and not the good. I learned that when I think of death I think of sadness and grieving that is dark in nature. I always thought of the experience of death as being so depressing and not being able to be happy during such a time. In many cases, I wonder if that is because death is not something we commonly talk about in our society because it is projected as being so depressing. In my own family experience, we never talked about dying. Sure there were family pets that died and during that time we talked about them going to pet heaven, but the real meaning of life and death was never really talked about. I think that I have learned that I want to be more open about life and death and what it really means to live and cherish this life. I want to start living in a way where I can find hope in the darkest of time and not dwell on the
bad.
1. A) NO talked about the need for someone to be physical with him and the feeling of being alone. He said that through this experience, learning to live alone was one of the hardest things for him. This has made his home life more challenging but he says he tries to stay busy with his hobbies so he doesn’t think about it as much. However, he has realized because of this that there could be a time where something could happens to him and no one would know because he lives alone. This worries him but he says that he always carries his cellphone and he has a neighbor that would check on him.
B) Emotionally, NO has struggled with all stages of grieving. He once struggled with very bad depression but knew that his wife would not want him to live like that. During this emotional battle, he recognized the need for a support group and turned toward a grieving class put on by a local church. During this time, he wrote a letter to his children about he emotional status, his grieving, and what he wanted …show more content…
from them to help support him through this time. His family was very supportive, encouraging him to talk about his emotions, and that helped him better manage his symptoms.
C) No says that he never lost hope in God, but he questions why God took his wife when she was so faithful and serving to him. He doesn’t understand the meaning behind this and doesn’t know if he ever will. He was very angry with God at times at that put a strain on his faith. The support group that he attended for grieving was religious based and it helpful to look at scripture on death and the resurrection. NO finds hope in the idea of one-day being reunited with his wife in heaven.
2. One of the biggest concerns presented to NO during this time of suffering was the legal issues that revolve around a death. He said that he spent so much time and money working with lawyers to get everything worked out with the estate and money that is was very overwhelming. He said it was very challenging because not only do you lose your loved one but then now you have to deal with legal documents and trying to prove ownership of items that you owned together. He said that he was thankful that financially he was stable but could see where that could be a problem for people based on the expenses that you don’t think about when someone dies.
3. NO described the best thing his family did for him was to just be there with him and support him with their love. Their presence alleviated some of the pain during his time of suffering. His children helped make funeral arraignments and that was something he was very thankful for. Their opinion on what his wife would have wanted was a blessing and it took away some of the stress. Also, one of the best things they did was bring him food when he didn’t feel like going grocery shopping. They did that for many weeks after his wife died and he said that was very comforting to know that they were looking out for him and his health during this difficult time.
4. NO said that he was so blessed from his family during this time that he can’t think of any support that was missing. One thing that he did say however was at the time of his wives death, his sister-in-law, which would have been his wives sister, was unable to make it to Oregon from Florida due to the weather. This meant that she also missed the funeral, which was very saddening for NO. He wishes that she could have been there for that experience but they later had a memorial just the two of them for his wife, which was very special.
5. NO finds hope in the idea that he will meet his wife again in heaven one day. He talked a lot about the stories of people who die and come back to live and tell people about what they saw while in heaven. He hopes that he will see his wife in heaven and that brings him great joy when he begins to feel the pain of her loss. He says he has not lost hope, however he has struggled with finding with the mystery of the after life and what happens when we die.
6. NO said the thing he learned about himself that stands out the most is how strong he is. He never knew how strong he could be until he felt his wife die and her final heart beat. He never pictured life without her and being that she was taken fairly suddenly it meant a lot of change for him. He knows that since he has gotten through this, he can face anything. He believes that he is a much strong person for dealing with the adversity of life.
Personal Reflection
1. The interview went well and was very rewarding. I think that our communication was easier and more fluent this session compared to the first. We spent a great deal of time talking about the vacation he went on just after our fist interview session from a month ago. He was very happy and excited to tell me about his travels. I think it made things easier that we had already had the initial interview and were more comfortable this time. We also spent more time in the beginning just talking about life rather than just jumping into questions.
2. Communication was easier this time compared to the first session. The first interview was more challenging due to having to build that initial trust with NO and it is hard to gauge the willingness for someone to open up about topics most people don’t ask about. Also, I knew more of what to expect form the second interview compared to the first because of the trust already established from that first interview that transferred over to this interview. Something that helped this interview too was using more therapeutic communication styles, such as asking, “could you tell me more about that,” or “and how did that make you feel.” This was something form the first interview that I realized I needed to work on so that I can foster a deeper conversation and let the client lead the direction.
3. At the end of my interview session, NO told me he didn’t think he taught me very much. I reassured him that this experience taught me more than I could have ever imagined. There was more than just conversations about suffering; there was talk of life, love, happiness, and growth. I think that the biggest thing I learned about suffering was that it doesn’t always have to be such a negative thing. In many ways one can suffer and walk away learning a lot about them, what they want to do with their life, how they want to live everyday, and the type of person they want to be. For NO, I never would have expected that through his grieving, he could be so happy. He showed me that although death may be a sad thing, reflection on the past and time you had with that person can be a very valuable and happy thing that can help with the grieving process for some people.
4. I observed a relationship grow through this interview process. In the beginning I would have described the relationship I had with NO more of an acquaintances but now I see him more as a friend. The trust that was built fostered a relationship that allowed for open communication between us that is very memorable. By the time the interview was over, we spent a great deal of time just talking as friends. He shared with me memories of he and his wife, the life he is now living without her, the traveling he is enjoying, and his plans for the future. This was very special to me and I think that our relationship will continue even after this. Now when I see him at church I will take the time to really say “hi” to him and ask how he is doing.
5. Faith can be something that fosters a sense of hope during a time of suffering. For NO, the idea of life after death and the hope of seeing his wife again some day in heaven brought him a sense of peace. If someone has faith in God, and is a religious person, drawing on that faith during a time of suffering can be very important. Even if not religious, someone’s spirituality, in whatever form they choose to express it, can be very important in helping during the suffering experience. I think during a time of suffering, asking someone about his or her spirituality can be an effective way to learn what will help them foster some type of hope.
6. The idea of just being present with someone during his or her suffering was something that I learned from this and that I hope I will remember to use in the future. NO talked so much about how his kids were there with him during a lot of his suffering and that was so important to him. He didn’t ask them to do so; they just knew that was what he needed. I think that is something to remember because people should not be alone during suffering. Even if it is just sitting in silence with them, that presence may be very comforting to them and ease some pain.
7.
The biggest thing that I learned about myself from this experience is that I look at the bad in a lot of situations and not the good. I learned that when I think of death I think of sadness and grieving that is dark in nature. I always thought of the experience of death as being so depressing and not being able to be happy during such a time. In many cases, I wonder if that is because death is not something we commonly talk about in our society because it is projected as being so depressing. In my own family experience, we never talked about dying. Sure there were family pets that died and during that time we talked about them going to pet heaven, but the real meaning of life and death was never really talked about. I think that I have learned that I want to be more open about life and death and what it really means to live and cherish this life. I want to start living in a way where I can find hope in the darkest of time and not dwell on the
bad.